My name is Cai'er, I am 39 years old, and I am a native of a remote mountain village. Although I was born in the countryside, but fortunately, at that time, there were a lot of mountain goods in the family, so my family was also a decent family at that time, at least I had not done farm work since I was a child, and my parents loved our sister and brother, and they never let us work.
It is precisely because of the pampering and pampering of my family when I was a child that my subsequent life road was full of ups and downs, and I was at a loss for what to do, and there was no way to deal with all the changes.
At that time, it was not that my family could not afford to study, but that I didn't have the heart to study, I didn't like to read, and I didn't study after graduating from junior high school, and it was also my own willfulness, which led to the problem of academic qualifications.
So I can't find a good job, so I can only go to the factory to make screws and do some chores, and now I really regret it, why others want to study at home without conditions, but I want to study but I can't study well.
When I was 27 years old, I met my husband when I was working in Panyu, Guangzhou. When I first met him, he was unusually sunny and handsome, and he was also urging marriage at home at that time, so he didn't think so much about getting married hastily. At that time, we had only known each other for three months, and we belonged to the kind of flash marriage.
It was because of this that I finally separated from him. After a year of marriage, we gave birth to a son, because he worked in Panyu, Guangzhou, so he rented a house there, and after the child was born, I could only take the child in the rental house. When the child reached eight months, I wanted to go out to work, but if I had someone to help take care of the child, I told him to ask his mother to come and take care of it for us, and his answer made me make the decision to separate from him.
He meant to ask my mother to come and bring it, saying that his mother's health was not very good, and it was a long way from her hometown to be very difficult. We theoretically quarreled with each other on this issue, and in the end neither of us compromised. At that time, I was angry and returned to my hometown with my eight-month-old son in my arms.
At that time, I didn't think much about going back, but I just felt that there was nothing for two people to quarrel, and he would definitely call me to go back in a few days, or give some suggestions to solve this problem, but two months passed, and he didn't have a **, no information, and he didn't come back to my house to see our mother and son.
I have been living in my mother's house for half a year, and my expenses are getting bigger and bigger, and I have no job or income, so I rely on my parents and younger brother to support me, so I thought it was not a way to go on like this, so I made a decision to go out to work, and the child was left in the care of my parents.
I didn't expect this to be that the child was in elementary school, and in the past few years, my husband has never come to see his son, nor has he given a penny, so we can be regarded as disconnected.
I don't know if it's because I have a problem with my IQ, since I moved out of the rental house, I haven't taken the initiative to call a ** to him, resulting in two people not having to discuss, and then he went to **, and I don't know if I changed it. It may also be my stubbornness and willfulness, and it is also an attitude of ignoring things when encountering things, if I take the initiative to find him to solve the matter, it will not be delayed until the child is ten years old, and he has not even met his father.
The child left at eight months and has been there ever since. Whether he is alive or dead now, I don't know. In other words, I have been a single mother for ten years without divorce.
One night this year, my dad called me and said that he had found our community, and because he hadn't been to our house for ten years, he couldn't find which floor was our home, so he could only sit and wait in the garden of that community, or my dad found him and brought him home. For so many years, he said that he also felt guilty and hoped to live with me on reconciliation, but my father said to him, we can't say anything about you young people.
Of course, my dad didn't blame him, and left him to eat that night. When he sent him away, he also said that he would transfer some money to my father, but after two months, he didn't transfer it.
Nowadays, I don't have a good job, I am looking for some temporary work, working a day for a day's salary, because I have to pay off the mortgage, provide for the children's education, and support my parents.
In the past ten years, no one may be able to understand my kind of despair and helplessness, when the Chinese New Year's holiday, when the lights of thousands of homes are hot and lively to eat reunion dinner, I can only hide alone in a rental house in an urban village quietly shed tears and eat instant noodles. In this life, I may end up lonely and old like this. I don't want to have any love, just to live, I fight with all my strength.
-end-
Emotional Mentor Yi Chunhan: Focus on emotional interpretation and be your most loyal listener of emotions.