Before getting married, be sure to inquire about 3 things about the other party's family
Falling in love seems easy, just think about love and not love. However, once you enter the marriage in a hurry, by the time you understand it clearly, you are already exhausted in the quagmire of marriage.
Marriage is not a gamble, what you lose is a momentary decision, and what you lose is a long life. As the saying goes, "We get married because we don't understand, but we divorce because we understand." ”
Therefore, I hope to be able to remind everyone in my power that before getting married, it is important to thoroughly understand the following three aspects of each other's family.
First of all, it is necessary to investigate the reputation of the other family's social circle. Why do many people regret their original choice after marriage?This is because human nature is inherently complex and multifaceted, and even if you have been together for many years, you may not be able to understand the true face of your partner. Therefore, it is best to observe the reputation of the other person's family outside the home before getting married.
I have a female friend who is very close to me, and she attended a blind date not long ago and was warmly welcomed by her parents when she went to the appointment. During the whole blind date process, the impression of both parties was quite good. However, during a dinner together, the waiter accidentally knocked over the spoon, causing water to splash on us.
Although this was not a big deal, the man's mother behaved unusually dissatisfied, and her attitude seemed contemptuous and rude. After that night, my friend came back and told me that she didn't think it was a good fit for the blind date. Then, through her parents' side inquiry, we learned that the other family's reputation in the local area is very poor. They often behave arrogantly because of their wealth, and often have conflicts with their neighbors over trivial matters. It is often said that one can pretend for a moment, but not for a lifetime.
If a family looks harmonious and happy on the surface, but behind the scenes there are negative evaluations, then it is likely that the person also has problems in dealing with people. Marrying into such a family, married life can be full of strife and unhappiness. Therefore, it is crucial to know how the other parent is getting along.
Marriage is considered to be the continuation of the marriage of the parents. Many experienced people will warn young people who are about to enter marriage: "Be sure to meet each other's parents before you get married." One might think that this is just a reminder to respect etiquette. However, when we really get along with each other's family, we will find that the best reference for a person's attitude towards the family is his parents.
The atmosphere of the family of origin can have a profound impact on a person unconsciously, and it is a potential effect that is difficult to change. Therefore, it is difficult for us to see what kind of personality the person we are going to work with for the rest of our lives before marriage. However, the details often don't deceive. The unconscious communication and communication between parents can often reveal the true temperature of the family.
Children who grow up in a family full of love, tolerance and understanding naturally have an innate ability to "love others". Such children are more reliable and feel more secure. On the contrary, if a family is full of quarrels and lacks love, then the child is likely to unconsciously absorb negative emotions and show problems such as sensitivity, violence, lack of happiness, etc.
Therefore, when you choose to marry into a family, you are not marrying just one person, but the entire family. This is a decision that requires careful consideration.
There is a topic on the Internet about how people feel about a relationship that is approved by their parentsA netizen shared her opinion:
On the basis of two people liking each other, coupled with the support and approval of their parents, that is an ideal love. Receiving the blessings of both families is undoubtedly a blessing and peace of mind.
Weibo user @小孙學學 shared her experience of going to her boyfriend's house for the first time, which happened before the Chinese New Year. She imagined many scenarios beforehand, including what to say and how to communicate with her family. But what she didn't expect was that as soon as she met her boyfriend's mother, she handed her a bag of New Year's money, which was twice as much as her boyfriend.
My boyfriend's mother said, "Our family is better to our daughter-in-law than to our son. In addition, in order to warmly welcome her arrival, her boyfriend's mother not only prepared new bedding for her, but also bought new pajamas, new slippers and toiletries, and even thoughtfully placed sanitary napkins in the cupboard.
Because she was too grateful, Xiao Sun could only scramble to help her boyfriend's mother when she was cooking. During the meal, a dramatic plot happened: the boyfriend's father had already put down the dishes and chopsticks, but when he heard that she was helping with the cooking, he hurriedly brought another bowl of rice.
Moreover, when she returned to her home, the family prepared a large bag of gifts and took care of various relatives of her family.
It seems to me that many elders are very picky about their son's girlfriends, asking them to come with expensive gifts and to help with household chores diligently. This may be because in their subconscious, girls who want to marry their own sons must pass layers of tests. Even if you try your best to make a good impression on them, it doesn't mean that they will be impressed with you in the future.
Marriage is a lifelong event for every woman, but don't forget that it's also a free choice for both parties. You don't need to pander to anyone, and you don't need to please people too much.
Why do I always advocate that women should choose carefully when considering marriage?
Feelings are often the product of impulse, but marriage is an important choice in life, which is related to the joys and sorrows of life. In order to ensure the happiness and happiness of the marriage, it is important to get to know each other well and visit their home many times before getting married, because all the results have their deep-seated reasons, and this process is both for a deeper understanding of each other and for the long-term security of the marriage.
If the other party's family relationship is harmonious and the family gets along well, this is undoubtedly a positive sign. Further, if the other person's family shares common values and the family recognizes and supports your relationship, then this person is likely to be an ideal partner who meets your heart's expectations.
Therefore, when talking about the important decision to get married, focus on the other person's family background. Such an expedition will not only help you get to know each other more fully, but it will also provide a solid foundation for your future. Because marriage is not only a matter of two people, but also the integration of two families, and this blending relationship will directly affect the happiness of your small family in the future.