In the TV series "Happiness Like Flowers", Da Mei and Du Juan became close friends. They each married the sons of **, the sea and the poplar. However, fate is full of ups and downs, Damei and Dahai choose to divorce, and the marriage relationship between Cuckoo and Poplar has almost come to an end.
There is an opinion that Damei is too pragmatic, does not know how to weigh her own value, and always dreams of marrying a rich and attractive man to change her fate. It is difficult for a materialistic woman like her to find true love and live a good life. Only an innocent and benevolent woman like Cuckoo really deserves better treatment.
However, I didn't see it that way, and it was only after reading the original book "Happiness Like Flowers" that I realized that the TV series glorified the cuckoo and ugly the big plum. In fact, the woman who really shows her happiness is Damei. She was abandoned by her husband before she got married, and she persevered until after she got married, and she never divorced. Not only did she choose to divorce, but she married Lin Bin, who was both excellent and handsome, and compared with Du Juan, her lifestyle was clearer, more pragmatic, and more graceful.
By observing the way Da Mei deals with life and marriage, I deeply realized that if we can have half of Da Mei's wisdom, then we can avoid many unnecessary detours in the journey of life.
1.Set clear goals and choose to marry someone who is rich and handsome.
Da Mei and Du Juan are both dancers in the art troupe, both of them have excellent looks and a deep foundation in dance, no matter where they are, they have become two eye-catching landscapes. In the art troupe, they are the most popular couple. However, Du Juan is different from Da Mei in that Du Juan has a strong interest in dance and is even willing to dedicate his entire life to the dance career. Damei's goal is simply to use the art troupe as a springboard to change her fate.
Damei was born in an ordinary family, her parents were both working as workers, and her older brother and sister had neither the opportunity to go directly to university Xi nor the way to join the army. If it weren't for the fact that she had practiced Xi dance in the Children's Palace since she was a child, she would not have been hit by a lucky raindrop, so she joined the art troupe and was promoted to her post.
What Damei experienced has become a legend among the residents of her hometown. People envy her for changing her destiny and no longer living a difficult life as far as the eye can see, like an assembly line worker.
Described in the original work, Damei is now over 20 years old, and when she enters a critical period of her relationship, she needs to take the second step in her life and make a wise choice for her marriage, but no matter what, she will not consider dancing as her career. Because dancing girls don't necessarily find a sense of happiness. The dancing girls enjoy the food of youth, and one day, they will leave the stage full of youth and vitality and live the life of ordinary people. She hopes that she can be a happy dancer, using dance to express her emotions and inner desires, instead of deliberately dressing up in a bright and colorful way in pursuit of a certain fashion, as some people do. Da Mei cherishes her youth very much, especially her capital body. Her desire to find a carefree partner with potential and background in her best years is undoubtedly a great challenge in her life.
Damei has a very clear goal, which is to use her current status as a dancer in the art troupe to find a man who can shelter her from the wind and rain and make her live a better life.
Although there are many handsome men in the art troupe, Da Mei knows that they enjoy the same taste of youth as her, and once they leave the stage, they will achieve nothing. She doesn't want to be an actor herself, and she doesn't want to be an actor. Therefore, Da Mei focused her on the two characters of ** children Bai Yang and Lin Bin. Each of them enjoys a privileged family environment, and if Da Mei marries any of them, it is possible to achieve her dream of a carefree life.
However, to Damei's disappointment, Cuckoo is only willing to devote herself to dancing and has no intention of falling in love. What's even more surprising is that Bai Yang and Lin Bin both have a crush on Du Juan, and even had a date in order to pursue her. Damei's heart is full of jealousy, but she feels helpless.
In terms of stature and appearance, she is not inferior to the cuckoo. She wasn't sure what Cuckoo was better than her, but out of jealousy, Da Mei preferred to know what Cuckoo really thought. If Du Juan becomes interested in Aspen, she will choose to leave Poplar and focus more on Lin Bin.
In the original work, when Lin Bin invited Du Juan to go out for a walk, Du Juan asked Da Mei to go to the appointment for her. When Damei's eyes fell on this tall and handsome man, and recalled his family background, she couldn't help but feel excited.
Considering Lin Bin's father's social networks, even if he is retired and the emaciated camel is bigger than a horse, Lin Bin's future is brighter than that of Poplar. She is a very ordinary girl, but her dream is different from Poplar - to be a good female teacher. She said to herself that she had to seize this rare opportunity.
Therefore, she actively got closer to Lin Bin, bought tickets to invite him to row, and deliberately created a moment of solitude for them. When the two were about to say goodbye, Da Mei took the initiative to grab Lin Bin's hand, and at the moment when the two were about to separate, she gently swiped her fingertips across Lin Bin's palm.
In those days, romantic relationships between men and women were not as open as they are now. In my eyes, the girl is a very gentle person. Lin Bin is so old, when she shook hands with the girl for the first time, Da Mei deliberately *** the child's mind, which made Lin Bin become upset. The red-faced Lin Bin brought a glimmer of hope to Damei.
Baiyang's pursuit of Cuckoo is in full swing, and Lin Bin is also working silently, constantly inviting Cuckoo to watch movies together, but Cuckoo has always refused to reveal who she really likes. Da Mei can't wait, and in order to choose between the two men, she takes the initiative to write an identical love letter to Bai Yang and Lin Bin, and she wants to know who will reply to her letter.
Regardless of whether that person was Bai Yang or Lin Bin, she would not hesitate to choose to spend the rest of her life with him. However, those two letters seemed to disappear into the sea without any response, which made Damei's mood cold. Her life became more and more dull. Soon after, Lin Bin invited Du Juan to go out again, Du Juan hoped that Da Mei could continue to go to the appointment instead of her, this time, Da Mei decided to seize this opportunity and take Lin Bin **.
In the work "Bilibili", there is such a sentence: If a person's ambition is the greatest release of life energy and the most persistent pursuit of dreams, then I would rather be an ambitious person. I hope that my talent and practical ability can match my ambition, and my ambition can be worthy of this life.
I really admire Damei's honesty, she has never hidden her ambitions. She said that she wanted to be a rich and handsome!What girl wouldn't want to marry a rich and handsome man?However, there are many girls who are unwilling to marry rich and handsome. However, some girls only dare to think silently in their hearts and dare not speak out, while some girls fail because of low self-esteem, although they have illusions about beautiful love, but in the end they easily enter the palace of marriage and spend their lives in vain.
Although they dare not face up to their ambitions, Da Mei shows her ambition unabashedly. She is a very low-key woman. When she met Lin Bin for the first time, she frankly expressed her wish, that is, to marry the descendants of **, instead of returning to her hometown to live a difficult life. **The child's background made her feel that life was meaningless. She bravely confronts her ambitions and is unwilling to compromise, so she is able to live peacefully even when she is criticized for being too realistic.
The author of Harry Potter stresses that there is nothing good about simply dwelling in dreams and ignoring real life.
Everyone has the right to choose who to marry, marriage is like daily firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, even if the husband and wife live a difficult life, Damei knows the hardships of life, so it is completely reasonable to want to get out of this predicament. Who stipulates that women must be dependent on themselves, and that true happiness can only be enjoyed when women are powerful?
There is only one life, she did not destroy anyone's family, her pursuit of Lin Bin is purposeful, but it is also a love that you and I are willing to love. She is so lucky to be with a man who loves her and loves her, which means that she will get more and he will be happy. If Lin Bin didn't have love for her, she wouldn't force it, but if he really had feelings for her, why didn't she seize this rare opportunity to enjoy true love and live a better material life?
2.Knowing each other and knowing yourself is invincible.
Lin Bin invited Du Juan to his home as a guest, and Lin Bin's mother took the initiative to mediate, hoping that Du Juan would accept Lin Bin's pursuit and become Lin Bin's wife. According to the conditions they proposed, Lin Bin will definitely love her deeply and ensure that she can live a better life.
However, Cuckoo already has a deep affection for Aspen at the moment, and she dates him without letting anyone around her know, and privately decides to spend the rest of her life together. The cuckoo tactfully rejected Lin Bin's invitation, and the meal made everyone present feel as boring as chewing wax.
When Da Mei learns that Du Juan went to Lin Bin's house, she takes the initiative to ask Du Juan to find out who she met and what food she ateCan she help her find some information. Lin Bin's family size is not hugeHow big is the house?What about the renovation?
Although Du Juan rejected Lin Bin, Lin Bin still invited her to go out. "I know you're a nice girl, do you say you like me?This time, Da Mei went to the appointment instead of Du Juan, she took the initiative to grab Lin Bin's arm, and told the interesting things that happened in the past with a relaxed attitude. Soon after, Lin Bin opened his chatterbox, and the two gradually changed from the initial estrangement to a closer relationship.
Soon after, Lin Bin took Du Juan to meet his parents, and this time, Du Juan was fully prepared. "Mom, Dad, I'm going to find you today!"When Du Juan visited Lin Bin's home, she behaved very cautiously and timidly, always silent, and whenever someone asked a question, she would respond.
Unlike this, Da Mei not only diligently poured tea and water for Lin Bin's mother, peeled bananas for her, but also took the initiative to help Lin Bin's father go downstairs to eat. When Lin Bin's mother spoke, a smile appeared on Da Mei's face, and she listened attentively. With her proper words and warm way of treating people, she quickly won the love of Lin's mother.
In the original work, Da Mei is described as a very intelligent woman, her mother Lin Mu is always talking, she never talks much, always listens with a smile, constantly nods and says: Yes. This was my first impression of Damei's house. It looks like a subordinate is listening to the leader's speech, and what Lin Mu needs is this kind of emotion and atmosphere.
Time passed by seconds, Lin Bin was immersed in the watch, and finally couldn't help interrupting his mother's words: Mom, time is running out, it's time to turn off the lights. "When will the lights go out?".I don't know!Mother Lin finally stopped the chattering conversation, made an exception and sent Damei out of the door, and said to Damei enthusiastically: Damei, you can come if you want to come in the future, this is your home.
Damei only saw the side of Lin Bin's parents, and with her high emotional intelligence and keen insight, she successfully won the hearts of Lin Bin's parents. Da Mei is lucky to be the object of their affection. I have a deep admiration for Damei's way of thinking, she longs to marry a rich and handsome man, but it is not pure fantasy. She is using wisdom to manage life and arming herself with knowledge. She silently worked hard and won the affirmation of Lin Bin's parents through her inconspicuous efforts.
In the work "Thriller Paradise", there is such a sentence: the so-called emotional intelligence is actually the perfect combination of speculation, intuition and acting skills. Here, I would like to say that emotional intelligence is a kind of wisdom and power that can make us comfortable in our work and also make us like a fish in water in life. Those who are both tactful and decent in their handling of affairs know this all too well. They allow you to act as you wish, but at the same time make you feel like everything is going well.
Because of your outstanding appearance, others may look at you more than once. However, you have high emotional intelligence, rich connotations, appropriate behavior, and generous speech, so that others will rate you higher.
High emotional intelligence is everywhere in everyday life. Cuckoo is a simple and lovely person, who is not tactful enough, and people like her can easily offend others without knowing it. However, Da Mei is very good at dealing with relationships and sophistication, and she knows how to be a likeable person.
You may think that she is thoughtful and good at pretending, but not everyone is capable of winning the favor of her in-laws. A woman with a high IQ will also encounter a lot of problems. Da Mei is very smart, she understands Lin Bin's love for her, but her guidance on the road to happiness and the recognition of Lin Bin's parents are the real tickets to her road to happiness. If Damei wants to become a high-IQ woman, she must know how to manage her life and improve her emotional intelligence at work. Isn't the core of high emotional intelligence a way to quietly satisfy one's own needs and bring happiness to others?
3.Cherish every moment in front of you and live in the moment.
In the original work, such a dialogue is described: Before getting married, Da Mei told Du Juan that Lin Bin's mother had told her that she would change a new job for her after getting married. What is so special about dance?Lin Bin's mother told him that since he can't dance all his life, he will need to change careers sooner or later, and he can better adapt to society by making changes as soon as possible.
The cuckoo was very surprised: we had already started dancing in our teens, how could we say that if we didn't dance, we wouldn't dance?
Da Mei suggested with deep feelings: Cuckoo, don't be stupid anymore. When Poplar's father is still retired, you can ask him to help you find someone to help you get a new job, because you may not be able to find a stable job in a few years. You are a good man, you have to be an excellent woman, such a woman, in order to gain a foothold and develop in society. If you want to have children and take care of the elderly in the future, it will be difficult to achieve this wish, even if you have a lifelong desire.
Da Mei lives a sober and pragmatic life, she is well aware of the challenges she will face in the future, since she chooses to marry Lin Bin, in order to maintain this honor, she must make corresponding sacrifices. She loves to dance, but is not obsessed. Despite her passion for dance, she doesn't give up anything for the sake of dancing. Da Mei is a gentle and virtuous woman, but she doesn't want to be bullied in her career, she likes a man. Her mission is to give birth to a child for Lin Bin, take good care of her in-laws, and ensure that they live a stable and happy life.
Da Mei always knows what she is really after, she knows how to judge the situation, and knows how to make choices. She loves to dance and she loves to sing. Cuckoo was not so lucky, and she never gave up her dream of dancing after marriage. Poplar's mother wanted to hold her grandson as soon as possible, but Cuckoo deliberately reduced her food intake in order to participate in the show to keep her figure.
Poplar's mother strongly advised her to eat more food, but when she wasn't paying attention, she cut her throat with her hand and spit it all out. Later, she began to have problems with her health, so she cooked all the dishes and served them to the table. After learning that she was pregnant, Cuckoo secretly inflicted corporal punishment on her child in order to pursue her dream of dancing.
Du Juan's mentor was still single in his thirties for the sake of his dance career. Her marriage was a mystery, and she didn't know how to explain it. She knows very well that once a woman enters the palace of marriage, many things are involuntary. Cuckoo is too naïve about marriage, considering that Poplar is the only son in the family and his family conditions are very good, how can he support Cuckoo to have no children for the sake of dancing for the sake of life?
The cuckoo's behavior made her mother-in-law and Poplar quite dissatisfied with her. Once, Du Juan's mother-in-law met Da Mei and couldn't help but praise her and said: Da Mei, you are really smart and know what you are going to do next. If our aspen hadn't married the cuckoo in the first place, what a wonderful thing it would have been to marry you.
Da Mei defended Du Juan and said: Aunt, I am different from Du Juan, because she surpassed me in professional skills, I really can't jump out anymore, and having a child is really no future.
The cuckoo's mother-in-law sighed deeply and said: You are not unproductive, but you know what a woman should do.
In the end, Cuckoo and Poplar chose to end their marriage. She works in the workshop, and every day after work, she goes for a walk in the park. The reason is that Cuckoo's mother-in-law wants her to find a stable job, but Cuckoo refuses, and she decides to live for the sake of dancing and for herself. She said she had a good job, but now that her husband had been laid off, her own salary was not enough to pay for her son's schooling. Before the production, Damei took the initiative to talk to the cuckoo. Fearing for her safety, Lin Bin parked his car downstairs and waited for her arrival.
Da Mei first glanced at the flower on the windowsill, then at the cuckoo's face, and then said: Women are like flowers, one day they will decay.
When Da Mei was about to leave, Du Juan stood outside the window and witnessed Lin Bin carefully open the car door for Da Mei and carefully helped her sit in the seat. Cuckoo's tears flowed out. She knows that Damei's life is full of happiness.
I once read that water is clear not because it is free of impurities, but because it knows how to precipitate;The transparency of the mind is not due to a lack of distractions, but to knowing how to make choices and give up.
Wise women who live their lives with clarity and clarity. They understand that only in marriage can they live a more wonderful life. They don't unilaterally expect all good things to happen to them. They are strategically and emotionally intelligent, able to face the realities of life with courage and a peaceful attitude towards the trivial matters of marriage.
Although the cuckoo is able to dance without any worries on her own, for me personally, I deeply admire Damei's attitude in marriage and life.
She knows what she's after, and she also knows what she's capable of. She knew how good she was and whether her efforts would be acceptable to others, but she just couldn't do that. Even if she decided to make a living from dancing, her achievements could only be described as mediocre due to her limited abilities. Therefore, her life is like that of an actor on a big stage, and she has the opportunity to be eliminated or even ridiculed in every performance. Since this is the case, why not choose a lifestyle that is both better and more in line with individual needs
The most frightening thing for human beings is to sink in a state of sobriety, to desire everything, but not to put it into practice. When a person gets what he wants, he knows that he is so insignificant, so he will have the sigh of "my efforts are not as good as others". If you can't get it, you will complain that you are unlucky, you have only one goal, you lack action, you don't dare to pursue your inner thoughts, and you can only envy the gains of others.
Yamamoto expresses the idea that in this vast world, there must be another self who is doing what I dare not try and living the life of my dreams.
There will always be people whose lives are far away from ours, but which we envy. I, too, used to be an excellent girl, and now I'm an ordinary man. The most significant difference between Damei is that she is fully committed to becoming the person who is par excellence. She is a thoughtful, assertive, responsible, hard-working, and thoughtful girl. For someone like her who has high emotional intelligence, knows how to choose, has the courage to face her heart, and has a clear and transparent lifestyle, she will feel very happy no matter who she marries.