1. My dad is very fond of history, and before he travels to historical sites, he will read the history of that place and tell me about it when he plays. Once playing in the Forbidden City, my father talked with relish, and after a circle, someone suddenly asked a question behind me, only to find that there was a large number of people behind me!
2. The head teacher is a physics teacher, and his class is not vivid enough, and the students don't like to listen. This time, more than 60 students in the class were playing with their mobile phones, scrolling through Weibo, and even playing games. When class was about to end, he suddenly said: "Students, pay attention, hand in your mobile phone after class, the remaining battery of your mobile phone is your score for the final exam of this semester!."”
3. A tourist leaves the scenic area where it has been raining for many days.
The hostel owner asked, "Don't you like this place?".”
The tourist replied, "Ah, no, the rain in my hometown is cheaper than here." ”
4 Many single dogs were forced to marry by their parents, but only my parents were very sensible and refused to introduce me to a boyfriend, saying that they listened to me. I've always been glad to have such parents, until I overheard my parents' conversation, and my father said, "Someone introduced a boyfriend to my daughter just now." The old mother said: "Give it back, my daughter is so capable, if she gets married, who will brush the bowl?"Who washes the clothes?Let's talk about it in a few years!”
5 In the early years, we had poor security there and lived in the east of the village, but my cousin, who had been working outside for many years, installed a better iron gate in his yard for the safety of his parents. It's not been a month, and the old couple got up in the morning to find that the gate was gone!
6 foodie girlfriend is really wonderful, once she came back from shopping and said angrily, "It's really unlucky today, someone pushed three wheels and hooked my pants!".Me: "You didn't ask him how he couldn't look at people?."She said: "I just wanted to go crazy, and when I saw that it was selling stinky tofu, I asked him how to sell it, and he said 3 yuan and 5 yuan, and then I bought it!."The world of foodies really can't be understood!
7 When my daughter was young, her tongue was very long, and her grandfather teased her and taught her to lick her nose with her tongue
8 One day I asked my 3-year-old brother, "Brother!"You tell the truth, is it better for mom or dad to be better!The younger brother didn't know if he was taught by others or if he thought about it, so he replied: Dad is good, because Dad married a good mother!
9 I remember when I was in junior high school, I skipped class with three classmates and went to play on the hill behind the school. Halfway up the mountain, a friend said that he had a stomachache and found a dry grass to solve it, and the three of us were fine and smoked not far from him. A friend clicked on the withered grass on the side to play, and the fire became bigger a little bit, who knew that a gust of wind would burn along the withered grass, and the direction was where my friend squatted with a stomachache. was so frightened that he lifted half of his pants and ran out more than ten meters with a big white buttocks.
10When I got up in the morning, I asked my wife, "Why can't I find a sock?" ”
The wife carried a few socks and said, "How did I find all of them?"”
11 Friend: "How did you change your husband's bad Xi of not returning all night?"Ali: "One day, he came home late, and I immediately shouted, 'Is that Applejack?'And my husband's name is Asson. ”
12 When a man comes home: the third-class wife waits for him to cook;Second-class wives cook together;The first wife has cooked the meal;The special wife held the rice bowl and said, "Husband eats?."”
13Sitting on the sofa watching TV, my girlfriend came out of the shower and asked me happily, dear: Why do you always feel so beautiful after taking a bath?I asked her, "Did you wash your hair when you took a shower?"She said, "Yes."I replied, "It must be a brain drain..."As soon as I said this, I regretted it, looking at the face of the female ticket, I wanted to be quiet!
14Why is the manhole cover round?
A: Why is the manhole cover round?B: If it's square, you have to ask why it's square, then it has to have a shape. C: Because you can roll when you steal!