1 On a business trip, as soon as I got in the car, a sister took my hand, and walked forward without looking back, and I was stunned!Are all the sisters so enthusiastic now!I was intoxicated with this beautiful feeling, and my sister paper looked back and blushed: I'm sorry to pull the wrong person!
2 A girlfriend likes to bargain when buying things, once a stall was in a trouser, and people sold it for 200, and after a big battle, it was cut to 30. In the end, the stall owner said that he had never seen you cut so well, and in the end he was tired and gave you this price. The second goods came: "Oh, I didn't bring any money today, let's talk about it another day......."”
3 One Day Film and Television Class Teacher: What do you think is the most touching cartoon in China?Xiaohong: Hulu baby, they are not afraid of hardships and dangers in order to save grandpa, and the snake demon teacher: Mmmm, yes. Xiao Ming: It should be the big-headed son and the small-headed father, Teacher: Why?Xiao Ming: Dad cerebral atrophy, son hydrocephalus, they are still strong and ......&nbs
Teacher: You go out!
4 Two friends discuss their ideal life. One said: "I would like to live in a big house with private pool and garden. Another replied, "I just wish my neighbor didn't have all of you." ”
5 The son is two and a half years old, just eating a banana, accidentally dropped a piece of the ground, picked it up to eat, the husband said, give the father what fell on the ground. The son handed the unfallen banana to his husband, and the husband insisted that he give the piece that fell to the ground to his father, and then the son thoughtfully put the unfallen banana on the ground and picked it up to his father, and we were all stunned!
6 One day, Xiao Ming and his friends were playing hide and seek in the park, and Xiao Ming's friend hid behind a tree, but Xiao Ming couldn't find him. In the end, Xiao Ming's friend couldn't help but shout: "Hey, I'm behind a tree!".Xiao Ming replied, "I know you are behind the tree, but I don't know which tree!"”
7And three drunkards came to admire the moon, and the drunkard asaid, There are two moons in heaven. And the drunkard b, said, There is three moons in the sky. "None of them agreed with anyone, so they called in drunk C to be the referee. Drunk Ghost C said slowly, "You—What line are you talking about?".”
8 broke with the male ticket, and my girlfriend comforted me: A cute girl like you who is good-looking, has a good figure, is gentle and virtuous, and can get out of the hall and the kitchen, and is still worried about not being able to get married?
All of a sudden, my mood brightened: you think so??? too
Girlfriend: Well, it's good if you believe it, after all, it's not easy for me to lie.
9A city man was having a good time on a spring outing in the countryside, when a peasant came running up and said, "Don't come up yet, you are stepping on the wheat!"The people in the city pouted and said, "It's really uneducated!."This is called outing. When the peasants heard this, they were furious, and dragged the townsfolk out of the wheat fields and pushed them into the pond by the roadside. The townspeople shouted, "What are you doing with me in the water?"The peasant sneered: "It's really uneducated!."It's called treading waves.
10A man and a woman made an appointment to eat, and the girl prepared everything early and waited for the boy to come and pick it up, but no one came to wait for the wait, and she was an hour late. Sure that he was being released a pigeon, he took off his makeup, tied up his hair, changed into his pajamas, grabbed popcorn and started watching TV.
Within ten minutes, the doorbell rang, and it was the man who asked her out, and the boy looked her up and down, exclaiming, "I'm already an hour late, and you're not ready?"
11 chatted with his parents in the living room, and his mother said: "When I was a child, I wanted to be a ** family, but unfortunately there was no piano." My father said, "I want to be a photographer, but unfortunately my family is poor and can't afford to buy a DSLR." I said, "I want to be a scientist." "Mom said it's a pity that I don't have an IQ!
12When I went out for a walk with my boyfriend at night, I saw a store with neon lights flashing, and I read it out: "Ganchai Pavilion." I told him, "Look at the name of this shop, why don't you call it Dry Wood Burning Pavilion?"My boyfriend glanced at the flashing words, slowly approached me, held my face with both hands, looked at me affectionately, and just when I thought he was going to kiss me, this thing said to me: "You are blind, that is Qianzi Pavilion!."”