In Maupassant's ** "Family", there is such a passage:
If a family wants to move up, the biggest obstacle is not poverty, but internal friction.
Internal friction will not hesitate to consume your energy and consume the warmth and warmth of a family.
Internal friction in marriage is the biggest killer of unhappy life.
Middle-aged couples must remember the principle of three noes, stay away from marital internal friction, and build a happy family.
one
Emotions are not hidden
On the Internet, such a survey was conducted on middle-aged couples:
Middle-aged couples, what is the most likely to happen and make people feel chilling?
Many middle-aged couples have praised this answer with all their brushes:
After so many years of husband and wife, he (she) doesn't know what I want, and I don't know when I'm unhappy.
In these votes, women in particular supported this answer.
Couples who have been married for many years must understand each other and understand each other?Can you really guess the next thoughts and actions with just one look and one action?
Not really. No one is a worm in your stomach and knows your thoughts and emotions like the back of their hand.
Especially for a careless straight man, guessing his wife's thoughts and emotions is simply a kind of cruelty.
In marriage, the most feared thing is: I think you should know, but you don't know.
So he fell into the endless silent spiritual internal friction.
In fact, if you don't say a lot of things, the other party really doesn't necessarily understand.
When you persuade yourself to forget it, you will feel unwilling, feel that the other party does not understand you and cares about you, so your feelings are hurt.
Grievances and chills arise in this state.
In marriage, don't hide your emotions, have grievances and discomforts, learn to express your feelings intuitively and rationally, and let the other party know your current emotions.
If you don't say it, the other party may never know that he has hurt you invisibly.
Learn to express and talk about things, and you will have a lot less grievances and chills.
II. II. II
Not impulsive on the lips
There is a saying that says:
No matter how good a couple is, they have 100 thoughts of divorce and 50 thoughts of strangling each other.
Husbands and wives will inevitably have contradictions and frictions, conflicts and quarrels.
It's normal to argue, but the purpose of a fight is to solve a problem, not to vent emotions.
In other words, quarreling is a way of communication and communication, and the purpose of quarreling is to find problems and solve them.
But in real life, many couples only use quarrels as a way to vent their dissatisfaction, and when they quarrel, they do not choose to say anything, and pour out their dissatisfaction in one go, and they have to fight for right and wrong without proposing a solution.
The result is often that two people quarrel and quarrel and have a cold war, a cold war, a cold war and a cold war, and then quarrel after reconciliation, in the cold war, the cycle is repeated, endless, little by little to consume each other's feelings and patience.
The problem that caused the quarrel is still a problem and has not been solved in the slightest.
Home is a place of warmth, not a place of winning or losing. Winning or losing verbally for a while is not beneficial to solving the problem except to vent one's negative emotions and hurt the other party's feelings.
There can be quarrels in marriage, but after every quarrel, there must be a solution to the problem.
In this way, you can avoid being plagued by negative emotions all the time.
Three
Don't act aggressively
Some couples quarrel when they disagree, insult each other when they quarrel, and even start their hands, which is not only not beneficial to the solution of the problem, but also greatly hurts the feelings of the husband and wife.
Whether it is verbal humiliation or physical violence, it is a typical behavioral attack. Behavioral aggression can not only cause physical damage, but also serious psychological damage.
And once it becomes natural, it will escalate step by step, from the initial venting of emotions, step by step to venting hatred, between husband and wife, once the hatred occurs, whether it is feelings or life, there is no going back.
Behavioral aggression is a kind of domestic violence, which will have no other beneficial effect than hurting the feelings of the husband and wife and harming the relationship between the husband and wife.
Managing a marriage is an art that requires the joint efforts of two people.
Hidden emotions in marriage, unscrupulous words, and excessive behavior will hurt the feelings of husband and wife and bring emotional internal friction.
Be sure to avoid it as much as possible. Family marital affection