First of all, it is normal to feel distressed and dissatisfied in the face of this situation. However, for the sake of family harmony and to avoid direct conflict, here are some suggestions:
Communication is key: Communicating directly with your sister-in-law can be difficult, but trying to find a suitable time and way to communicate with her is the first step to solving the problem. It's okay to tactfully express your dissatisfaction and concerns, while trying to avoid accusations or criticism. Try to express your point of view in an attitude of understanding and respect, for example: "I noticed that you will move back to your parents' house with the things I give your parents, and I hope you will understand how I feel about it." Through this communication, you give your sister-in-law a chance to explain her behavior and may also help you better understand her motives.
Understand her motivations: Find out why your sister-in-law is moving things back to her parents' home. Is it because she thinks these things will be useful to her parents, or is she just carrying them all at once to save trouble?Understanding her motivations can help better address this issue. Establish boundaries: Although what you give to your parents is given to them, you still have the power and obligation to manage and protect your property. This doesn't mean you need to supervise or interfere too much with your sister-in-law's behavior, but you can set some clear boundaries. For example, you can decide what you are willing to give to your parents and what you would prefer to keep for yourself.
Consider your parents' needs: Even if you're bothered, remember what items your parents might need. Try talking to them to see if they need the items or if they're willing to let you give them the items directly.
Seek external support: If communicating directly with your sister-in-law doesn't work, or you feel hindered in communicating with her, you may consider seeking external support. This may include other family members, such as siblings, or professionals, such as a counselor or family counselor.
Look for compromises: Sometimes compromise is necessary in order to maintain family harmony. You can try to find a way to meet your sister-in-law's needs while also protecting your rights and interests. For example, you can decide to send some specific items to your parents on a regular basis and keep others.
Adjust your behavior: If you find yourself being overly generous when gifting your parents, then you may need to revisit your behavior. Before giving a gift, think about whether the gift is really suitable for parents or if the gift will cause other problems.
Establish clear rules: To avoid similar problems from happening again, you can work with your sister-in-law to set some clear rules. For example, you can decide what you can give to your parents and what you need to agree to give away. At the same time, it is also important to clarify responsibilities and obligations, such as who is responsible for purchasing and delivering.
Be respectful of each other's feelings: Try to be calm and respectful regardless of your sister-in-law's behavior. Try to understand her feelings and positions, but also express your feelings and needs. By understanding and respecting each other, you can solve problems better. Consider the consequences: Before taking any action, consider the possible consequences. This can include increased conflict with the sister-in-law, or affecting the relationship between parents and other family members. Therefore, think carefully and weigh the pros and cons before taking action.
In short, when faced with the problem that your sister-in-law always moves the things you gave to your parents back to her parents' house, you should calmly analyze the situation and take appropriate measures to solve the problem. Compromise and consensus are reached through communication and negotiation to maintain family harmony and promote the development of relationships.