1 I have a friend of two goods, picked up a mobile phone, the phone case contains a note" If my phone is dropped one day, please return it, there is a heavy thanks, my number: 139 ......”
As a result, my friend was on the phone for two days in a row, and ...... was on the phoneHe came to tell me, and I seemed to understand something. What two wonders!
Teacher 2: "Xiao Ming, give three reasons to confirm that the earth is round." Xiao Ming: "That's what Mom said, That's what Dad said, and That's what you said!."”
3When I was in high school, I had a bad stomach for a while, and my fart was very smelly, and I wanted to vomit when I smelled it!Once in class and sleeping, suddenly the fart attacked, hazy remembered that the same table often used his hand to grab the fart and put my nose, closed his eyes and grabbed one to reach out in the direction of the same table, suddenly a weak and warm hand grabbed me, looked up and saw that it was the teacher, scared me to quickly struggle back. The teacher said gently: What did you take?I'll take a look and promise not to tell the head teacher. In her expectant look, I let go of my hand.
4 girlfriends like to eat a kind of skewer called "flesh and bone", and today I went out to eat with my girlfriend and ordered "flesh and bone". After a while, a little brother came over with a plate, put it on the table, and said enthusiastically, "Your flesh and bones." "Can you not speak so succinctly.
5 Xiao Wang worked in the personnel department on the 10th floor, and a month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor.
Today, Xiao Wang's classmate called ** to the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?"
A colleague said: "Xiao Wang is no longer in personnel." ”
Xiao Wang: "AhhhhhWhen did it happen, why don't I know, I haven't had time to send him yet?
It's okay, you can go down there and find him......”
6 The fourth sister in the bedroom does not like to wash socks, a pair of socks can be worn for a month, and the other sisters have **, so she puts the socks in a plastic bag at night to seal them to prevent the exposure of poisonous gas, and takes them out during the day and wears them again ......One day, the girl in the next bedroom couldn't vomit out of alcoholism, and it was too late to send it to the hospital, at this time, a clever sister turned out a pair of socks in the bag of the fourth sister, and the girl sniffed it for three seconds, and she vomited ......Life saved!
7A woman went to the dentist to extract the tooth, but the dentist could not pull out the woman's bad tooth with great effort, and at last the dentist said helplessly, "Madame, your tooth is so strong that you want to pull it out unless you pull it by a train." ”
A few days later, the woman came to the dentist again, but the dentist found that the woman's bad tooth had been removed, and the dentist asked her how she had done it.
The woman said, "I did as you say, and found a train, and tied my teeth to the locomotive, and—."
The dentist interjected and asked, "And then the train pulled your tooth out, right?"”
No, I pulled the train off the rails. ”
And your teeth—".
It was knocked out by the railroad workers. ”
8 One day I met an old lady who touched porcelain on the road, no matter how I said it, I had to ask for money, I was in a hurry, and I remembered that there was a very good skill in the paragraph, so I picked up**pretended to fight**: Dad, give me 500,000 on the card, I want to kill someone. At this time, the old lady slapped me on the ground, driving an electric car and pretending to be rich and handsome?Then, I calmly lay on the ground!
9 Once when I was on the subway, the aunt next to me rang, picked it up and said, "I'm busy, it takes two hours to get home, you do your homework first." After hanging up **, he said to another aunt next to him: "The little rabbit cub came to ** and asked me if I got off work, so I didn't tell him that I still had 10 minutes to get home, and I went home to catch him and cut him to death." There was a sudden cold sweat on his back, and he shivered.
10 buddy girlfriend obeyed him, he taught him skills, and before saying anything to her, he added "Although you are beautiful." "Even if you're beautiful, you can't stop me from watching the game" "Even if you're beautiful, you have to brush the bowl once every three days" "Even if you're beautiful, don't pluck my ears in front of people" Men, they will praise women for winning the world!When we hear that we are beautiful, we will become kind and tolerant, and we will be virtuous and quiet and elegant without competing with the world.