Here's what a reader wrote:
I'm 36 years old and still single. Reason for being single: At marriageable age, because of my shyness, I couldn't find a woman who was willing to marry me;Although I now have my own housing and company in the city where I work, I have been single for a long time, and I am gradually Xi to the life of a person, and I am not excited about getting married.
Qiangzi (buddy's name, not his real name) is two years younger than me, we used to work for the same company, and then he continued to work in the private sector while I ran my own business. When I was alone, Qiangzi was already married. At that time, I persuaded Qiangzi to do business with me, and Qiangzi's exact words: I am dragging my family and I can't afford to lose. Although Qiangzi and I started different modes of life after that, we still get together once in a while. At every meeting, I mainly play the role of listener, because Hadron often complains about married life.
Some time ago, Qiangzi invited me to drink (he invited guests, I paid for it), and when I drank too much, Qiangzi revealed one thing to me: he has a particularly strong idea of divorce now, and frankly admitted that if he does not divorce again, he is likely to be depressed. The main reason: his current income has plummeted (their company has recently laid off employees twice, although he has not been laid off, but his salary has dropped), in this case, he himself is under a lot of pressure, and when he returns home, he will be dealt with by his wife with unpleasant words.
Regarding the life style of Qiangzi's wife, in the process of contact, I also understood that I could not give the least care to Qiangzi in life;After living with Qiangzi for many years, he used his own money as a small treasury and Qiangzi's money as the joint property of husband and wife;At the level of housework, it is lazy to eat, and over the years, cooking has been operated by hadrons;It is particularly bad for the parents of the strong son, especially when the parents of the strong son occasionally come to the strong son's house to stay, they always have an impatient attitude.
Or seeing too much of Hadron's unhappiness in his married life and listening to Hadron complaining about his married life in front of me is also a reason why I don't want to get married.
Regarding the idea of Qiangzi wanting to divorce, I did not stop or persuade him, and felt that this kind of thing should follow his heart.
Mu Zi Li emotion**:
It needs to be admitted that at present, the global economy is in a relatively difficult moment, and as Chinese people, we cannot blindly sing about our own country without objectively analyzing the global situation. It means that when we look at everything, we can't use the so-called double standard. A few days ago, I saw the author's description of the current situation "the fever is cured", I think it is more fair, and his original words are like this: If you only mention the loss of orders from Europe and the United States and the weakening of demand, you don't mention all the way;If you only mention the outflow of foreign capital and the flight of dollar capital, you do not mention the geopolitical game and the inflow of capital from the Middle East;If you only mention that foreign businessmen are gone, rich people emigrate, do not improve scientific and technological talents, scientists flow back into China, and 90% of high-quality international students return to China every year;If you only mention real estate risks, don't mention these achievements in industrial upgrading. I would like to ask these people with extreme remarks: Do you deliberately fail to see China's achievements, or do you just acquiesce that we can't do it without even seeing it?
You only mention the volume of urban investment bonds, but you don't mention the money back then, but the rain and dew have all been stained with orders, and the money has been sent to the enterprise and flowed to the society;You're only talking about demographics, but you're not talking about cycles, you're not talking about cultural integration;It's as if you only mentioned that Fitch downgraded our rating outlook, and you don't look at the report of CCXI, which still maintains our rating outlook. So, if you just want to vent your emotions, in order to complain, don't say that you are rational, objective, professional, if you are particularly rational to stand in that double standard, it will definitely make everyone question your motives and purposes, if you have resentment, you remember that resentment can only make you more unlucky, can take everyone out of the predicament is the group of people who are optimistic and confident in the future. If you stand on the public platform and lose a point, let the reversal come more slowly, and your bad luck is due to yourself.
It needs to be admitted that language does have a certain weight in life, some positive words can boost people's confidence, and some more mournful words will not only make people lose confidence, but even despair in their future life. It's like: Qiangzi will feel that his married life is particularly boring in the face of his wife's frequent sarcasm, so he has a strong idea of divorce;It's like you often listen to Hadron complaining about married life, which causes you to be even less yearning for married life. What I want to say is that husband and wife are two grasshoppers on the same rope, and when the catastrophe has not yet come, they show their more hideous faces, is this really good?Sometimes, it's not that people can't bear the hardships of life itself, but they can't stand the oppression and destruction given to them by their loved ones at the spiritual level.
Many times, people in the emotional field will have this expectation: I am good to you, not because I deserve it, but I expect you to treat me the way I treat you, not to enjoy my good to you while feeling that I am extraordinary. When people can't exchange sincerity for sincerity, when the feelings of two people are supported by one person, such feelings will inevitably make the licking party gain chills. You must know that a person's tolerance level is limited, once the other party has saved enough disappointments in the relationship, the unbearable lightness and unbearable weight related to the breakup will become unimportant, at this time, the other party has only one thought in his mind: withdraw from you, in order to get real liberation.
From the perspective of friends, sometimes there is really no need to gossip and point fingers at the housework of the people around you, because after all, people are a species with changeable thinking, even if you sometimes speak from the perspective of "I am all for your good", it will inevitably have the effect of "kindness is treated as a donkey's liver and lungs". For this reason, try not to give advice when your friend is not trying to seek advice from you. Maybe many things have already been decided in people's hearts, so keep this mentality: no matter what choice your friend makes for his future life, you should not give him an afterthought, but stand firmly by his side regardless of whether he is glamorous or downcast, and this is enough.
Perhaps in some women's perceptions: men are the pillars of the family. The point is, some women will have a misunderstanding of the word "pillar": the correct interpretation of the pillar is that men are the backbone of business life, not everything. Don't you think that in the process of managing a marriage, women are particularly ugly in their selfish, calculating, double-standard, and lazy posture?Remember, each of us is a mortal, our energy is limited, there is no need to see a man as a perfect person, while enjoying the glamorous life that a man brings you, you also need to calmly face the trough period of a man at the career level. When a man's career is at a low point, there is no need to use vicious words to give sarcasm, but to encourage men as much as possible, otherwise, why let men have a heart to heart with you?
Editor's note: More than 10 years ago, did those who bought houses in first-tier cities really have an investment vision?Most of them just happened to live in a first-tier city at that time, and bought a house in a first-tier city because of their daily necessities. For these people, if they sell their houses in first-tier cities and find a second- or third-tier city to live, they can lie flat. What I want to say is: it is not these people who are capable, but they have seized the dividends of the cycle.
There is no need to be too discouraged when the general environment is not good, because most people are not having a good time in the economic downturn. Even so, when we look at some things, we still can't adopt double standards, and there is no need to blindly sing down. Regarding the cycle, it takes time to fight and it takes a boost in self-confidence. After all, there are still a lot of people who make a lot of money in their field, so why can't you be one of them?
Marriage **from the Internet, **unrelated)