If you are an introvert, do you always envy extroverted people who are very good at taking the initiative to express themselves and are comfortable in various social situations. However, I don't like to take the initiative to socialize with others, and I feel anxious in social situations, making others mistakenly think that I am cold and withdrawn, and I want to be social like an extrovert.
Are you an introvert who will always be amazed that extroverted people can talk to each other about a lot of things warmly when they meet someone they know, and there are always endless topics to talk about, and they are annoyed that they are too stupid, not good at words, and can't chat with people.
Introverted personality, are you always distressed that you can't dare to love and hate like an extrovert, like a person to bravely express your chest and take the initiative, but you are Xi to hide your emotions and not easily reveal your truest thoughts.
As an introvert, do you always want to be seen by leaders like an extrovert in the workplace, and your efforts are recognized, and you don't want to be a "little transparent" in the workplace.
With so much trouble, many people will misunderstand introverted personality and think that it is a defect. The author of "Sorry, I may be allergic to people" tells us that, in fact, introversion is not a character flaw, it is a type of personality. Moreover, successful people are mostly introverts.
The author of this book, Wu Mian, a well-known psychological counselor and co-founder of Mushroom Psychology, focuses on the popularization of psychology in the new neighborhood, and has created more than 1,000 psychological articles, with a cumulative word count of more than 2 million words, and many articles have been read more than 100,000.
In the book "I'm Sorry, I May Be Allergic to People", Wu Mian not only vividly describes the traits of introverted personality, but also teaches us how to find a way out of difficult situations, reconcile with introverted personality from cases, and regain self-confidence from stories.
The advantage of slow heat is deep thinking
Unlike extroverts, who are active and enthusiastic in interpersonal interactions, introverts tend to be more reserved and restrained in social situations.
Introverts often feel that they are not good at interpersonal communication because of their slow heat, and they feel that they are not good at interpersonal communication, so they have an inferiority complex, and they are eager to be as enthusiastic and cheerful and energetic as extroverts, and become social experts.
The reason why people with two personalities are so different socially is because extroverts need to use others to release their emotions and emotions, and they need to use others to think and gain a sense of worth.
But introverts are different, first of all, the desire for human interaction is much less than that of extroverts. You don't need to know too many people, and if you can solve a problem alone, you will never trouble others. So, introverts don't have to aspire to the social skills of extroverts and live at their own pace.
Secondly, introverts have a psychological baggage in social interaction is the fear of making mistakes, which is the popular term on the Internet - social death.
In fact, making mistakes is the norm of life, and besides, the consequences of making mistakes are often not as serious as we think. Focus less on the problem and more on the harvest. Build a positive mindset and alleviate social anxiety.
Third, introverts are slow burners, in this era of efficiency in everything, is slow heat a problem in interpersonal communication?
The authors tell us that introverts have long brain circuits and extroverts have short brain circuits, so extroverts react faster than introverts.
But will this be a disadvantage for introverts?In fact, slow people occupy an important position in the whole society at any time, because slow people have a stronger ability to process information deeply and are better at deep thinking.
Albert Einstein is a good example. Silent and withdrawn, he said: "It's not that I'm smart, it's just that I've been thinking about things for a longer time." ”
Introverts are slow to heat up, but they are also slow to cool down. In a good relationship, it's not a big deal to slow down, time can prove the meaning of the relationship, sincerity and long-term friendship are what we care about, so introverts just need to be themselves, they don't have to deliberately change themselves, and be carried away by the social rhythm of others.
One of the most important problems for introverts when it comes to socializing is that they can't find a topic to talk about. It's because they want to be more precise in their expressions, and they have to think about each sentence before they say it. But extroverts are not so strict with themselves, and they will have no scruples when expressing themselves, and dare to express themselves.
Introverts who want to change this can start by "talking about something lighthearted" or "a topic that interests them". Of course, if you don't bother your life and work, you don't need to change, and it's good to be quiet.
Good communication requires active response and good listening. Listening is not difficult for introverts, it is an instinct engraved in the genes. Therefore, introverts should understand their own characteristics and play to their strengths.
I love you, but I don't dare to come near you
Extroverts like to take the initiative when they like a person, while introverts like to hide their feelings, don't say it easily, and don't even dare to approach.
Extroverts care more about their feelings, I like you more than you like me, and in the eyes of extroverts, "I am more important than you", so extroverts can have no scruples when it comes to expressing emotions.
Introverts, on the other hand, care more about "you" than about their own feelings, and more about the other person's attitude. Therefore, introverts are afraid of rejection, so it is difficult to take the initiative to approach.
Don't think too much of the person you like, and don't be yourself. Emotionally stable, a good listener, a genuine person, and an interesting soul are the unique attractions of introverts. In fact, introverts are more charming than they think.
Work hard to be "transparent in the workplace".
Many introverts are very serious and work hard, although they are recognized by everyone, they are not valued by the leadership. It's because you're not being seen, you're not expressing yourself fully. Introverts need to improve their expressiveness.
How to build a language expression framework that suits you, how to overcome speech anxiety, and how to improve your ability to persuade others, in the book "Sorry, I may be allergic to people", the author has a detailed introduction, if you are interested, you can read it yourself.
A survey in the United States found that among successful people, introverts account for 70%.
Introverts are more independent, focused, and rational, and their ability to think deeply is difficult for extroverts to achieve.
We know Einstein, Newton, Haruki Murakami, Gandhi, etc., they are all introverts. Beneath its quiet exterior lies a tremendous amount of energy.
If you are an introverted personality, I believe that you will correctly understand and understand your own nature from this book, explore your own advantages, and plan your own life journey according to your own rhythm. Both introverts and extroverts have their own strengths. Let the introvert not be your shackle, but a source of strength for your achievement.