1After dinner, I handed my mobile phone to the second ...... who watched TV on the sofaHusband, take a look at our shopping cart on Double 11!
Don't look!The second cargo didn't even turn his head and categorically refused.
Considering that as a partner who still needs to work together for a long time and live together for decades, I have given you the full right to know, which is what you give upIt's as if the right to know can oppose the right to dominate!
2 Son: Dad, I don't want to go to school anymore.
Dad: Why?Son: I'm annoyed when I see teachers.
Dad: Really?That's okay, if you don't go to school, I'll marry a daughter-in-law and live by yourself.
Son: Then I'll go to school......
Dad: What's wrong again?
Son: Seeing you kneeling on the washboard every day, thinking about that daughter-in-law is even more annoying.
3 When I first met my girlfriend, I asked her to eat noodles together.
When she arrived at the restaurant, she said shyly: Xiaocao, I eat faster, don't laugh at me.
How fast, let's just put it that, a bowl of ramen was served, I had just eaten two bites, and she was already wiping her mouth after eating.
4 Eating in a restaurant, I saw a beautiful woman not far from the opposite side, the type I liked, and I was thinking about how to talk, at this time the beauty had already finished eating and got up and walked out, but I hadn't thought about it yet, I was at a loss, just when the beauty came to me, I involuntarily stretched out my legs, tripping her ......Needless to say, this will be a transcript!
5 One day, a few guests came to Xiao Ming's house. Dad was chatting with the guests in the living room, and Xiao Ming suddenly ran from the kitchen to whisper to Dad.
Dad said angrily"Why is this kid so rude?If you have something to say, say it out loud. "
So Xiao Ming plucked up the courage to say loudly:"Dad, Mom said that there is no food at home today, don't leave guests to eat. "
6 A brother attended a class reunion, drank too much, and when he came back, he took a taxi and sat in the co-pilot. When waiting for the traffic light at the first entrance, the traffic police came slowly, and the brother saw that the situation was not good!Open the door and run. The driver followed and ran out, and the traffic police immediately stopped the two of them as soon as they saw the situation, and asked: What are you two running?Brother said: I drank today, I thought I was driving the car!The policeman asked the driver: Why did you run?The driver pointed to the brother: he hasn't given me the money yet!
7 Yesterday when I went to a friend's house to play, her 5-year-old son quietly ran to me and asked me, "Uncle, do women get pregnant when they sleep with men?"”
yes!What's wrong?”
It's over!It's over!It's over!”
What the hell is going on?”
Yesterday at noon, the teacher asked a girl to squeeze a bed with me to sleep. ”
I continued to tease him, "That's not like you're going to have a baby soon!".You're not happy?”
Happy ghost, my parents work all day, and we both have to go to kindergarten, who will take care of the children!”
8 The two ** met on the road and talked about their feelings after marriage. A: "What do you like your husband to do at home?"B: "I like him to dance with me." What about you?A: "I like him to drink, three glasses of wine, he says anything to me!".”
9. Have breakfast at the soup dumpling shop downstairs.
I have become accustomed to the taste of inferior vinegar, which is not sour, not fragrant, and is only used to it.
Today is different, good fragrant vinegar.
Ask the guys in the store, why is your boss willing to use good vinegar today?
The young man pouted and muttered, "Break a stack of bowls, deduct me fifty yuan, and don't mix water in vinegar as he instructed."
10 Lao Wang took advantage of his wife's bath last night and secretly opened his wife's mobile phoneI saw that her address book was divided into groups like this: high-grade, medium-grade, inferior, semi-finished, and superb. Lao Wang searched for a long time before he found himself, only to see himself quietly staying alone in the waste group!
11 Whenever there is a power outage in the summer, the teacher will say, the heart is calm and naturally cool, I, I really wanted to slap him at that time, tell him, then you are still sweating profusely!
12 Today's cooling, after standing on the side of the road to order the train, contact the master**: "You stopped at the south gate of the building, and saw a fool who was about to freeze to death was me, so I was very easy to recognize." After saying that, I was trembling and hung up**. After a while, the master called again: "Hello, there are several fools on the side of the road, which one is you?"”