My ex-husband and I went through the divorce proceedings three years ago. That day, the two of us had breakfast together and drove to the Civil Affairs Bureau to go through the formalities, which was no different from going to the bank to do business. Little did I realize that we were no longer husband and wife in the legal sense.
The divorce was not my intention, and I don't know if he planned it. We had two sons, the eldest of whom was 18 years old at the time, and we discussed buying another house to prepare for our children's marriage. According to the national policy, there are a lot of fees to pay to buy a second house, so he proposed that we first go through the divorce procedures and then remarry after the house is completed.
I think he had a point, so I agreed. Actually, I'm also a little worried, I heard that some couples fake divorce, but the fake turns out, what if we divorce and he refuses to remarry?I reassured myself that he wouldn't do it, after all, we had two children.
We took a fancy to a house, and then went through the divorce procedures together, and then we were ready to buy a house, but unexpectedly, something happened, and the house could not be bought. We had to look at other houses, and when we looked at them, we didn't think they were ideal. Later, he needed funds to do business, so he put down the matter of buying a house first, and the matter of remarriage has been put on hold.
At the beginning, our relationship was okay, his energy was focused on business, and he basically didn't worry about family affairs, I had to go to work and take care of housework. Later, I had children, and there were too many trivial things at home, so I was busy, but he still didn't care about the affairs of the family. Gradually, I lost my patience and started complaining about him, he was annoying. Actually, as long as he says a word"Wife, you've worked hard", no matter how tired I am, my heart is sweet, but he didn't have a word of comfort, which disappointed me.
When he was in a bad mood, he often went out to eat, drink and have fun, and came home late. Later, I found out that he was chatting with a strange woman on his phone and actually said, "I miss you.......""I felt something was wrong and pressed him up, and he said:"That's all nonsense on the Internet. ”
I didn't have any evidence of his cheating, and I couldn't dig into it, and it was over, but it hurt me a lot. Even when we were in a relationship, he didn't say that to me, and now he says sweet things to other women, which makes me sad. As soon as we quarreled, I turned it over, and the more we argued, the more fierce it became.
Later, we rarely communicated about anything other than what we had to communicate, but I never thought about divorce. One day after we went through the divorce procedures, I found out that he was having an affair with other women on the Internet, so I quarreled with him. That day, my mother-in-law was at my house, helped him quarrel with me, and came up and pushed me violently.
Her son was distracted, but she didn't care, but accused me of treating his son badly. I lost control of my emotions and pushed her too, and she fell to the ground and her head was bleeding. My husband pounced on me and punched and kicked me, and we got into a fight.
After this incident, he had a hatred for me, saying that no matter what I did to him, he could tolerate it, but he couldn't bear it for me to do something to his mother.
I'm also angry that his mother did it to me first, why can't I fight back?When I think of the image of him protecting his mother and slamming his fist into my chest, my heart hurts as if I have been punched again. I have paid so much for this family, and it is just that I can't get his approval, and he is still violent to me, which makes me very cold.
Before, my mother-in-law and I didn't like each other, which gave him a lot of headaches, and we often quarreled about it.
We are still living under the same roof, but we are strangers. He rarely went home, and when he did, he only came back after eating out.
As soon as he got home, he hugged his phone and chatted with a woman, not caring about my feelings. He spoke very softly to the woman, and also said that he wanted to buy gifts for the other party, and after hanging up, he didn't come back all night as soon as he went out.
What he said to that woman was like a knife stuck in my heart, and I was saddened. I've been married to him for so many years, and he's never been so gentle with me, let alone give gifts!
I angrily accused him, saying, "You can't control me, and you don't have the right to control me, we're divorced!."His words made my scalp tingle and tremble. I think that it is likely that he planned our divorce procedures in advance, and I was deceived.
In fact, if the two of us continue to fight like this, sooner or later we will separate. Even if he lied to me, it didn't matter. Thinking of this, my pain lessened a little.
I didn't say hello to him, I went out to travel and relax, and I didn't go home for a week, and he didn't call a **, and he didn't ask me to **.
I was so angry that I was sick and hospitalized, and I went to go through the hospitalization procedures alone, did the examination, and received **, until I was discharged from the hospital, he did not show up. I lay on my hospital bed, tears streaming uncontrollably.
During the Spring Festival, I spent the New Year at home with my children, and he went back to his parents for the New Year, and they didn't even say a greeting to each other.
It's really not too much of a day. He has no idea of remarrying, and I don't want to remarry, the story of the fake divorce that I heard before turned into a real divorce was staged on us, and my heart was full of bitterness and helplessness.
Really emotional solution.
"Chinese-style fake divorce" is a trick that couples come up with to buy a second house and avoid debts. The husband and wife agreed to remarry after the goal was achieved, but there were many cases where the fake came true. You accidentally embarked on this path, and you never thought that the fake divorce with your husband would also come true.
You should understand that the so-called fake divorce is actually a real divorce. Because sham divorce generally adopts the method of divorce by agreement, once the two parties exchange the marriage certificate for the divorce certificate, the marriage of the two people will be declared over. Without legal proof, the two people dissolved all relationships. Even if you are a loving husband and wife, you are no different from passers-by!
Let's leave aside whether the fake divorce was his conspiracy in the first place, anyway, the fact is that your hearts are getting farther and farther apart, and he says sweet things to other women without considering your feelings at all. Moreover, without the constraints of the law, it is also legally permissible for him to make new friends of the opposite sex.
It's a pity to think about it, your emotional foundation is okay, but neither of you knows how to manage a marriage, you have been paying for the family, but you can't get your husband's care, so you complain constantly, and your husband is a shopkeeper at home, and over time, your grievances are getting more and more.
You are not good at building a good relationship with your mother-in-law, which is also a reason why their marriage failed. You say that he has never said sweet words to you, which means that he does not have you in his heart. Why the relationship between two people has come to this point is a question that two people should think about.
Marriage is sacred, and if it is divided and combined at will, the marriage will be devalued, and you will no longer be cherished by the other party. The strongest marriage is to upgrade the relationship between husband and wife to a comrade-in-arms, and live an ideal life through the joint efforts of two people. If you want to be opportunistic and use the way of sacrificing marriage to achieve some goals, then the relationship between two people will begin to deteriorate.
According to your current state, it is recommended that you let go of each other, and that you should each find another lover for the rest of your life, and you all deserve to be loved. It's just that after starting a new family, you must learn from the past and manage your marriage well. Instead of guarding a half-dead marriage, it is better to go out and find a new blue sky.