Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Family Jokes Collection" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm!）
When I was a child, my mother beat me, and I cried, and my mother said, "Don't cry, if you cry again, you will continue to beat." ”
Later, my mother beat me again, and I couldn't cry in order to suffer less flesh and skin. As a result, my mother said, "You have a stubborn temper, right?"—and beat me until I cried.
In the end, I came up with a solution, as long as my mom was angry and hit me, I would beat myself up. - As a result, my mother said, "You are stupid, and my mother didn't mean to blame you!."“
Huh?This is also okay?If I had known, I wouldn't have been beaten when I was a child
As a result, when I grew up, I developed a habit of slapping myself a few times whenever my daughter-in-law was angry!
Huh?Hahaha, you're fucking laughing at me!
After the death of his wife for many years, my grandmother took her little grandson to visit the grave, burning paper money, ingots, US dollars, and cars at the grave.
Suddenly, the little grandson asked, "Grandma, why don't you burn a mobile phone for grandpa?"”
Grandma: "He's calling you at night ** aren't you afraid?."”
Little grandson: "That'......."That's ......That's it......”
Help your child with chemistry homework.
Suddenly, I was stumped by a question: co+2fe=
I turned to my wife, who said she was drinking coffee
I had an idea and put on a recipe: co+2fe= coffee
My cousin is 30 years old and still single. Once I asked him, "Cousin, there are so many beautiful women in your unit, why haven't you found a girlfriend until now?"”
The cousin said coldly: "Rabbits don't eat the grass next to the nest!."”
I said, "At this age, you still 'rabbits don't eat the grass by the nest'?"”
My cousin said dejectedly, "Beauty is a rabbit, and I am grass!"”
Xiaohu had an interesting dream, so he hurriedly told his grandfather: "Grandpa, grandpa, I had an interesting dream, now I'll tell you about it." ”
Grandpa was busy working, so he said, "Grandpa doesn't have time now, you can go and tell grandma first!."”
Xiaohu shook his head and said unhappily: "I don't need to tell grandma, there is her in my dream, she knows everything." ”
Xiao Gang couldn't answer his father's question, and his father said unhappily: "You always don't know what to ask!."”
Xiao Gang asked puzzledly: "What is the 'three unknowns'?"”
Dad didn't know how to explain it so he asked Mom, and Mom said she didn't know.
At this time, Xiao Gang suddenly came to his senses, pointed to his parents and said: "These 'three don't know' are: I don't know, you don't know, and she doesn't know." ”
The father asked, "Sasha, what are you going to marry?"”
Sasha said: "Dad, I have found several boyfriends, but they are not satisfied, wait for me to choose again." ”
Father: "You're not too young, you'll be 25 next year, but you have to hurry."
Sasha: "Don't worry, Dad, there are so many fish in the sea of life!."”
Father: "Child, life is like fishing, if you keep the bait for a long time, it will be tasteless." You have to be careful, don't be like the old Wang girl next door, who picked up more than thirty years to get married, and she was still lame. That is, the bait has been kept for a long time, and the golden beetle son-in-law has not caught it, and he has caught a king."
I had nothing to do today, so I went to ask my aunt: "How did you and my uncle go from acquaintance to love and then get married?".”
My aunt glanced at me and said calmly: "One wrong step, one wrong step!".”
Last night, I went to my boyfriend's house for the first time to meet my parents, and her mother's cooking was delicious.
When I wanted to get up and go to fill another bowl after eating a bowl of rice, his mother held me down and said, "It's okay, put the bowl there, I'll wash ...... later."”
Hearing my aunt say this, I don't know what to do if I still want to eat a bowl of rice?
I was hungry all night, and in the middle of the night, my boyfriend quietly gave me a bowl of cold rice from the kitchen, and I was hungry!
I go to a certain university, and I like to go home on weekends.
One Sunday at home rummaging through things (my habit), my dad asked me what I was doing.
I said, "Let's see if there's anything you don't need at home and take it to the dorm room." ”
My father glanced at me and said lightly, "Our family is useless at the moment, remember to take the garbage with you when you go back to school." ”
I'm laughing to death: We're useless at the moment, remember to take the garbage with you when you go back to school. In addition to the garbage, there's one more thing that's not me.,It seems that I'm going to take only pots and pans out of the house!）
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