Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "High-energy Hilarious God Reply" (Attached: The weather is getting colder, everyone pay attention to keep warm!）
Traveler: "Beautiful stewardess, please put my suitcase in the luggage rack." ”
Flight Attendant: "I'm sorry, sir!."I can't hold it alone, let's carry it together, okay?”
Passenger: "Aren't you flight attendants angels?"Is there anything that angels can't hold?”
Stewardess: "Sir, the customer is God, and God can't put it on, so we angels can't do anything about it." ”
When I went shopping today, I passed by a storefront, and the plaque read: Tmall physical store, free delivery when you enter the door.
I was secretly happy, and walked in and asked the boss, what do you give for free?
The boss glanced at me and said: Buy something and send a smile, don't buy anything to send a guest!
A young pregnant woman and a girl were seen chatting on the bus.
Pregnant woman: "Ever since I was pregnant, I've been a fan of spicy food. ”
Girl: "Sour girl, definitely girl." ”
Pregnant woman: "Then I will eat more sour food from now on, will I have a boy?" ”
Girl: "No, it's a female man at most......”
The boss of the company is a big fat man of more than 200 pounds, and people outside call him fat, and once several colleagues chatted together.
A colleague gossiped and said, "Do you know that our boss has succeeded recently?"”
All I knew was that the boss was famously fat, greedy, gluttonous, and greedy, and we all looked at him curiously and asked, "How did you know?".”
He said: "When I went to his office today to hand in the information, I saw that he could stilt his legs!."”
Huh?Fat people can't stilt their legs, how fat is that!
Me: "Boss, the year-end bonus you gave me this year is not quite right, it seems to be a little more ......."”
The boss smiled and replied, "Okay, you are an honest and good employee, bring it to me to see ......."”
Me: "Look, there's it, there's an extra decimal point." ”
Boss: ......Hahahaha, I'm laughing to death, the year-end bonus has an extra decimal point
One day, just after the meeting, the director, the deputy director and several entourages walked into the same elevator with a smile, at this time the director really couldn't help it, let out a loud fart, the elevator suddenly quieted a lot, the director was casual: "Hehe." ”
The deputy director hurriedly responded: "Director, it's not me." ”
The elevator was quieter, and a young attendant said, "Director, I'm sorry, it's me!."”
The elevator was bustling again. It didn't take long to hear that the young entourage had become the deputy director, and the original deputy director had become an inspector in advance, to which the director explained: "I don't dare to take on anything big, what else can I do!".”
Customer: "This picture must be sent to me before I get off work!."”
Designer: "Okay!."”
Early the next morning.
Customer: "Why haven't you sent the picture yet?"”
Designer: "I haven't left work yet......”
When I returned to the company after the New Year, I couldn't help but praise my colleagues: "You are as frugal as me, and you didn't buy yourself a new dress during the New Year." ”
He replied: "I bought myself a new **, I pay attention to inner beauty!".”
It is said that the star is worth 2 billion!”
That's 100 million more than me. ”
Yo, I can't see that you're so hidden!”
Lo and behold, there are 20 in the pocket. ”
Today, a few fishing friends drank together, and while they were happy, everyone talked about their best fishing.
A said, "The biggest fish I've ever caught weighs 30 pounds."
B said, "The biggest fish I've ever caught weighs 40 pounds."
I said, "What are you guys, the biggest fish I've ever caught weighs 180 pounds."
The fishing friends didn't believe it, and asked me to prove it, so I turned on my phone and turned out the wedding photo: "Look, mermaid, 180 pounds, fishing in People's Park." ”
Everyone laughed for a while!
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