How to make a man afraid of losing himself?That's a question that a lot of girls in the background have asked me.
In fact, from a psychological point of view, the more you are afraid of losing someone, the easier it is for you to lose him, so first of all, you can't be obsessed with this thing, but what are you going to do?
Pay more attention to your feelings and enjoy the relationship, which will also allow you to get to know the other person in a more comfortable state and manage the relationship well.
So how do you do it?I have summarized 3 points for you.
Number 1, grasp his needs and weaknesses
In fact, there is a premise here, that is, you know the other person well enough, and you can clearly see his inner needs, including some of his unknown weaknesses.
Then in this case, the man will feel that he is being noticed and understood, which is equivalent to grasping the man's lifeblood.
For example, this man is more materialistic, and most people may think that he is too vain after seeing it, but you can find that he is actually very insecure in his heart.
Another example is that he often lies, is not very honest, in the eyes of others, he is unreliable and hypocritical, but you can see that he has a low sense of self-identity in his heart.
For example, there are some people who are more socially phobic, very introverted, and not good at expressing themselves, and the feeling of others is that they feel that this person is very cold and difficult to get along with, but you can give him an understanding and know that he is not confident enough due to the influence of his original family.
There are also some men who are always hesitant to do things, worried about this, worried about that, afraid of failure, in the eyes of others, they will think that this person is not good, too indecisive, but you can see that he is pursuing perfection and has high requirements for himself.
In short, if other people can only see the shortcomings of this person, or when they deny him, but you can find another side of him, be able to understand him, and discover his hidden shining points, then you are special to him, and this is what makes you unique as his other half.
The second point is to make him feel that he has to work hard to be worthy of you
For example, your partner is very bad at dressing, the clothes are very poor, and you feel uncomfortable going out with him, what will you do at this time?
Maybe many girls will choose to buy him clothes, match him, and try to improve his clothes. It's not that you can't do it, but of course it's a way to do it, and what's the wiser way to do it?It is to respect his own choice and not interfere with him, but you no longer offer to go out with him.
Another example is that he usually doesn't like to be clean, never cleans the room, and the unwise way is to clean it for him directly, or to persuade him to clean it bitterly, but it has little effect.
And what is the more correct thing to do?I clean mine, and I first keep my living environment clean and tidy, and at the same time consider whether or not I want to continue living with him.
For example, if he has a very angry temper and often gets angry at you while talking, then it is not wise to take the initiative to calm his emotions all the time, or reduce communication to avoid conflict with him. In fact, the right thing to do is to establish a positive and healthy way of communicating, and at the same time, what to do?Pay attention to your emotions and your emotional needs.
Everyone has shortcomings and areas for improvement, but only when a person is truly aware of his or her own problems and actively seeks to change them, this change is effective.
And if you want a man to change, it is definitely not good to poke the other person's sore spot directly, but you should guide him to develop in a good direction through your understanding, encouragement, and support. Make him feel that he has to change, that he has to put in the effort to be worthy of you.
The third point is to learn to take advantage of the "abandoned cat effect".
What is this effect talking about?It is that when a kitten is discarded by its original owner, it will be brought home again for adoption, and when faced with this new owner, it will behave more docile and well-behaved than before, why?Because it's afraid of being abandoned again.
When it comes to relationships, it's actually the same thing. If you have been unconditionally good to a person, to cater to him, and to pay for him, then most of this person will not cherish it, and he will feel that what you do is what you deserve.
And if you can properly let go and take back a part of your kindness to him, then he will realize your value, then he will have a sense of crisis, begin to cherish you in turn, and take the initiative to pay for you, work hard, and want to regain your attention.
Even if you love this man again, you must learn to be cold once in a while and not care too much about him. You have to remember that you are his partner, not his mother.
So don't focus on this man all day long, and care about whether he eats well or not, and whether he dresses warmly, so that he will be disgusted with you, or even annoyed by you. Occasionally not caring will make him cherish you more.
When this man makes you angry, or touches your bottom line, you must show your attitude in time, and you must have a sense of framework. Punish when you should punish, set rules when you should set rules, let him know that you also have a temper, and it is not something he can handle casually.
What else do you have to do at the same time?To reduce your sense of need, magnify your own value, let him know that you are not indispensable to him, and your life can be wonderful without him, so that he will have a sense of crisis, worried that you may leave him at any time, then he will cherish you more.
Click on the problem When you are confused and lost in your relationship, click on it and take a look!