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Although the Zhou family did not decline after the death of their eldest son, Zhou Bingyi, or it can be said that they did not decline after the remarriage of the eldest sister-in-law, Hao Dongmei, I am more inclined to think that the Zhou family never really rose, and its family was even less happy than other families.
Bingyi had no sons in his life.
Zhou Bingyi is not only the pride of his parents in his life, but also the most selfless contributor in the world.
Of particular note is the fact that he unfortunately developed cancer in his later years after donating his life to the country and society. Although he has passed away, he still does his best to take care of his family and make proper arrangements for his funeral. He said that he is a person with thoughts, pursuits, ideals and ambitions. Here's what he said:
Zhou Rong, Bingkun and the three children of our parents, in their lives, the greatest luck is to be partners with excellent men and women, and this deep affection between husband and wife is second only to the kindness of parents. The happiness of both of you is our happiness!The two of you should have a future of gratitude to Xiaoguang and Zheng Juan.
After my death, there was no need to buy a cemetery, my ashes could be placed in my parents' graves. I am an assertive person. If someone comments or attacks me, they should definitely not defend themselves and should not defend themselves.
It is true that Zhou Bingyi was a selfless man when he was alive, but he earned a good reputation after he was born. His whole life has been spent in one family after another. However, he is also an extremely cold person, as he has never really loved himself, let alone cared for his wife, honored his parents, and cared for his sister and brother. If there were no people, small families would not exist, but didn't every great person come out of these small families?
Bingyi and his wife Hao Dongmei became husband and wife, belonging to the Black Five category, due to his wife's family background, he lost the opportunity to go to Sichuan to become a regular soldier;She was also a literate woman who had engaged in propaganda work and literary and artistic activities in the army. However, due to various factors of his wife and parents, he was promoted from a senior cadre in the Cultural Affairs Department to the secretary of the arsenal, and then to the main person in charge of the second largest city in the province, and then to Beijing, where he finally returned to the provincial capital as deputy mayor and in charge of urban construction.
Whether it was because of his deep affection for Hao Dongmei, because she was unable to have children, or because of his enthusiasm for work and rare opportunities, he decided to give up his children and enjoy a loving life with his wife.
Does Zhou Bingyi really have no desire to have children?
Wrong, he just transferred this "duty" to his younger brother Bingkun. "I don't know how you did it. In his eyes, his father was a burden. There are three kinds of unfilial behavior, and having no offspring is the greatest. He had already given this rule to his father. As the eldest son and façade representative of the Zhou family, how could he tolerate so much criticism and criticism?Therefore, he blamed the public for Hao Dongmei's inability to have children, and took measures to stop his father-in-law before he embarrassed him. The Zhou family of the Yue family generally believed that he was a filial son and attached great importance to affection.
However, in the original work, he actually betrayed his wife and kissed affectionately with a young and beautiful woman abroad, and it was not until Hao Dongmei found the ** that she had to confess. And his wife, three months after his death, chose to remarry. However, this time she married an old overseas Chinese who matched her identity, and she not only enjoyed a high quality of life, but even her face became more ruddy.
The couple of Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei feels a bit like "you give me the first year of junior high school, and I will pay you back fifteen", but their wisdom lies in the fact that although Zhou Bingkun is on the first track of marriage and Hao Dongmei chooses to remarry, they are still highly praised by their families and friends. Everyone knows the beauty of the gods, but only the beautiful wife will never forget!But she was diagnosed with cancer before she got married and stayed in the hospital for more than a year. You talk about kindness every day, but when you die, you are taken away again.
But what about the parents in **
Zhou Bingyi never showed filial piety during his lifetime, his authority did not bring any substantial benefits to his parents, and even his parents-in-law never had face-to-face contact with their parents. His mother is a vegetative person, but he treats her as his own sister and takes care of her more than him. During the two years that his mother was in a vegetative state, he didn't even know anything about it. Even though his father was seriously ill, he was the last person to learn about it. He just said lightly that his brother had worked hard, and then hurriedly threw himself into his own career.
However, if Zhou Bingyi had not chosen to marry Hao Dongmei, who had a complicated identity, he would probably have become a soldier with peace of mind, and would continue to be admitted to Peking University after retiring, or return to his hometown, or stay in Beijing, and devote himself to the education career he really desired. He was a typical peasant kid. Such an ordinary and extraordinary person not only has the opportunity to visit his parents, but also takes the old couple to more different places, instead of lifelong regrets like now.
It's a pity that after Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei got married, their parents really saw them, which made the mother feel a little uneasy. Considering the social environment at the time, choosing such a partner would not only have a negative impact on Bingyi's career, but would more likely affect all members of the Zhou family. Despite this, the father was still moved by Hao Dongmei's noble cultivation and showed more tolerance in the free choice of a good son. He raised his daughter to be an excellent woman. As a result, the couple's career flourished, but with their death, it also gradually declined. The Zhou family seems to have experienced glory, but it seems that it has never been brilliant.
Zhou Rong chose to elope in the mountains.
Zhou Rong is not only the only daughter of the Zhou family, but also the real treasure in the hearts of her parents.
Although she does not have the same long-term vision as her brother, she is already quite a good person for women. However, her personality is also very unique and difficult to understand. Therefore, all the members of the Zhou family were mentally prepared. During an outing, she suddenly remembered her brother. Sure enough, when she and her younger brother Bingkun discussed the issue of "who goes to the countryside and who stays", she chose to leave quietly and went to the remote Guizhou.
Indeed, this mountainous area of Guizhou used to be a place where many city dwellers did not want to go to the countryside, but she chose it not for the development of the country, but to pursue her dreams. Zhao Huacheng, her future spouse, was also a right-wing poet she deeply longed to follow.
As the saying goes, children have to repay their parents' debts, and Zhou Rong is the typical son of debt collection. His father was a small nanny in a landlord's family, and his mother worked in other places. She chose to elope and get married, and her parents would feel at ease if they could live a peaceful life. But her life is not only wandering, but also forbidden speech and freedom, and life is full of hardships. In order for her daughter to have a stable job in the city, she has been working outside the home since she was in elementary school. Not only did he go home to honor his parents, but even when the child was only 6 years old, he was suddenly sent to Zhou's house. She and her husband were injured because of a poem, one **, and the other even scared their mother into a vegetative state.
So, what is her married life like?
Zhao Huacheng is undoubtedly a poet, but he is also a poet full of romance and freedom. Although his life was full of challenges, he had a wife who was always by his side, which made his love for fraternity even stronger. He loved his wife, he loved his husband, he loved their family, he loved their children, he loved him to death, he lived like a real man. Even on days when there is no freedom, you can keep your duty;In the days of loss of freedom. In a life of freedom, she betrayed other women, and although she took on all the housework and provided Zhou Rong with the opportunity and freedom to be admitted to Peking University, her infidelity to her marriage is absolutely unforgivable.
After Zhou Rong and Zhao Hua broke up, they returned to her hometown. Although she has made a lot of progress in her career due to her academic advantages and married Cai Xiaoguang, who has been waiting for her for half her life, she chose to turn around and pay off the debts she owes to her children. She spent a full 12 years in France to find her daughter, initially because her passport had expired and she couldn't get it back, and then because she was reluctant to return because of her academic problems. When I returned to my hometown again, I found that my parents had entered old age, and my husband now had a new storm, and the most angry thing was that my daughter had developed feelings for her younger brother's adopted son.
For parents, what special contribution does Zhou Rong's daughter have?
No, not at all. Her mother's upbringing of her has always been replaced by a kind of "doting". During his childhood, his parents' pampering of him was almost at its peak, but in adulthood he caused a great shock to his parents, and in middle age he was busy taking care of his daughter. Her mother's status in the family was so high, but she never knew how to take care of her poor child, the cotton robe. It is no exaggeration to say that not only did she fail to fulfill her filial piety, but her mother also took care of her for 6 years. Her little padded jacket has never really been intimate, but it has repeatedly leaked.
As for the parents' situation
From the initial acquiescence to her elopement, to assisting her in raising her daughter, to witnessing her divorce and remarriage, this series of twists and turns and repeated physical stimulation caused her to either faint or become vegetative. Even in her old age, she still worries about her daughter's future, including whether she has a stable job, whether the relationship between the husband and wife is harmonious, and whether her daughter will have problems.
Regrettably, Zhou Rong never considered herself too selfish, but instead stubborn on the issues she cared about. She fell in love with the poet. Because she fell in love with the poet she had never met, she decided to go to Guizhou;Since she was involved in the process of "justice", she was entrusted to the orphan's daughter to raise;In order to find her daughter, she chose to travel to France for 12 years;She wanted to start a business because she took advantage of the connection between her parents and her husband. Her actions caused a strong reaction in society. Indeed, when a person's selfishness reaches a certain level, he can still live a healthy life, and the only thing that can be said is that behind him there are a pair of parents who are willing to take care of each other.
Bingkun's life has been burdened with heavy responsibilities.
Zhou Bingkun is the most incompetent child in the Zhou family, and at the same time the most ordinary child.
His life went from being a porter in a wood processing factory to a scum handler in a soy sauce factory, to a temporary issue of red magazines, and eventually he was imprisoned. This is the man I have ever seen, and in my eyes, he is the most useless person. Such people, regardless of the era, are regarded as the most useless beings.
However, those who appear to be well-behaved are actually more likely to behave beyond the norm. In his married life, he resolutely chose to marry the widow Zheng Juan. This woman is his wife, and she is also a capable woman, a powerful person. Let's talk about Zheng Juan, who is an adopted child, has an adopted blind brother, and also gave birth to a child who is considered rape. All of this is very embarrassing. No matter what Zheng Juan's character is, people who are slightly sane will choose to take a detour, but Zheng Juan behaves very well, not only is he too tough, but even the nine cows can't pull him back.
There is no doubt that Zheng Juan is the benefactor who saved her mother's life, and the Zhou family must not forget her kindness, but there are many ways to repay the kindness, so why make a person's life a burden?She only learned that she had a son after her mother's death, isn't it her fault!Especially when her mother was not fully awake, she had already considered giving the heirloom as a gift to her father, and his father also came to the door to express his gratitude. In other words, she expressed her willingness to provide long-term help in the future, but in the end, she established a relationship with his last son according to Bingkun's wishes.
What unusual actions did Bingkun take in order to marry Zheng Juan?
First, he secretly sold the heirloom. In the original book, the pair of jade bracelets was clearly marked at 1,200 yuan, which was equivalent to three years of his salary for Bingkun and the first wealth he had ever seen in his life. Later, the method of clear real price was promoted, and clear price marking became an unspoken rule of the pawn industry. However, this amount is actually given less by the pawnshop owner out of conscience, and its true value may be ten times higher, and more importantly, it is extremely collectible for the jade bracelet.
Despite this, in order to repay Zheng Juan and maintain Bingkun's reputation, her mother still decided to give it to Zheng Juan. However, the pair of jade bracelets had already fallen into the hands of Bingkun, and Bingkun's mother's plan had not been realized.
Next came my father, who braved the cold temperatures on the morning of his third day of vacation, the third day of his retirement, and Bingkun to Zheng Juan's house and brought back a high-quality bacon and tea. He said that he wanted to give his wife a gift, and he thought, his wife would definitely not refuse, and he should agree. This thank you gift is worth a try.
Although Bingkun tried to detect his intentions, he was dissatisfied, but he still said: "Zheng Juan is the benefactor of the Zhou family, and as the leader of the family, it is my responsibility to express my gratitude." He is an authentic peasant child, who grew up in the countryside since he was a child, and his father is an ordinary peasant woman. When I walked into Zheng's house and faced with the dilapidated house and my blind brother, I didn't want to cause them any more trouble, but I was still worried about my son's future. His home is in a remote mountain village, where his father is engaged in small business and his mother lives in the mountains with her two children. Regardless of the quality of the family, the most important thing is such a family background, coupled with the need to take care of his younger brother and baby, which will basically affect Bingkun's entire life.
What activities did Bingkun carry out?It all came down to my father's attitude towards him - "I am such a person"!It was as if his father had returned home and that he had fulfilled his filial duty as a son. For his mother, who is not yet fully **, he no longer cares about it, and he has no time to care about his niece, but wholeheartedly hopes that his father can agree to marry Zheng Juan. In the face of his father's "delaying" policy, although he did not dare to confront it directly, he still let his father suffer setbacks many times as a way to show his determination.
The most touching thing is that in order to fulfill his wish, his father personally packed Bingkun's luggage when his wife was not at home and sent it to Zheng Juan's home, which is a decaying and stormy home. In the days of youth, maybe we can get plenty of water, but as time goes by, who can maintain long-lasting affection in those days when there is nothing?His father was a ruffian in his time. People always go to higher places, and water always flows to lower places, Bingkun acts like a voluntary sinking, and for the sake of love, he abandons his parents behind.
Parents should not hesitate to get involved in the marriage of their children, and a short-term grudge is far better than a lifelong resentment.
On Zhihu, there is such a question: "If you don't follow your parents' advice to choose marriage, what will be the final result?"The answers are varied, but most of them say no. A clear point is: "Many people don't live happy lives, and it's hard to last a long time in an environment they're not familiar with." ”
I strongly support this answer, only that by the time I truly understood, I was already entering middle age. I feel that my life is a process of constant struggle and continuous effort, and the most important part of this process is getting married. Let's talk about my sister's marriage to me. She is in free love and has been happy since she got married. My sister chose the path of free love, married an uncle who was 12 years older than herself, and lived a happy life ever since. When she reached middle age, she began to be busy with her husband's pension problems, and she didn't even have children, so she could only rely on support. If she doesn't, her sister may face the fate of being kicked out of the house.
I chose the blind date arranged by my parents to get married, because I have two daughters, and I always hope that one daughter can be taken care of and filial by my side. I am a woman who loves money very much, and when I got married, my parents prepared a large amount of savings for me, so that I could work and live well, so that I could have a good husband to take care of my children. Initially I felt very uncomfortable because I thought that my parents were too selfish and that if they wanted to have a filial daughter, my married life might be affected. After I got married, I never knew if I really understood my parents, and I didn't think about divorce. Still, I ended up marrying her. Now, my husband and I have left our hometown, we have purchased a property and children in other places, we work hard for the family's livelihood, and we will go home hand in hand during the Chinese New Year, and our lives are full of happiness.
Marriage is more like a ruthless challenge for parents than a lifetime of happiness for children.
In many cases, parents want to decide whether to marry from the perspective of their children, but in reality, children have many restrictions, first of all, they do not understand marriage, secondly, they are not familiar with basic life, and finally, they lack enough tolerance. If you want your children to get through this difficult period in marriage, you must first understand the psychological condition of your children, so that you can prescribe the right medicine.
Whenever there is a setback in a marriage, people tend to consider divorce. As time went on, divorce seemed to have become commonplace, not only to honor one's parents, but also to avoid causing unnecessary trouble to one's parents and putting pressure on them, which was already the responsibility of Amitabha. Parents have high expectations for their children, hoping that their children will do well in their careers, achieve success in their studies, and be cared for and considerate in life, but often it backfires. The most heart-wrenching thing is that when children are not happy, they often blame their parents for not supervising them.
When we re-examine the married life of the Zhou family's children's generation, we will find that each of them is not truly happy. In their opinion, marriage is the most important thing between a man and a woman. Zhou Bingyi married Hao Dongmei, but when he was suppressed, he couldn't even become a soldier;When he rose to a high position, even the parents of the Zhou family didn't want to meet. In his opinion, he is a "dirt road", and he will blush when he talks to others. No matter how good you are, how is it different from your son-in-law?Not only is he filial to his parents, but he doesn't even have a tough word, let alone care about his younger siblings. Whether the Zhou family has him or not, the situation is the same.
Zhou Rong is undoubtedly a debt collector, she raised both big and small children, and even led to the death of Bingkun's adopted son. She herself has experienced countless ups and downs, not to mention her filial piety to her parents and avoiding causing trouble for them. In the end, it was Zhou Bingkun, who was not good enough in his own right, insisted on marrying a procrastinating widow, and his quality of life almost reached the level before liberation, and he lived his life without doing anything, but his heart was very big, either righteous or outspoken, and as a result, he was poor all his life, and it was difficult for even the next generation to rise.
From ancient times to the present, mothers have always made it easy for their children to go downhill, which is what the old couple of the Zhou family said. Considering the excellent performance of the children, if everyone has their own goals, if they are not constrained and managed, this may lead to no good ending for each of them, and even the offspring of ordinary families will find it difficult to do so.
When I became a mother, I became more convinced that children should have more freedom, but more importantly, they should have a clear direction in life. Especially when it comes to the marriage of children, we cannot be too lenient. We should not force our children to do anything, but choose the right partner. As an ordinary person, we should not have any illusions that we will live an ordinary life.
It is generally accepted that parents should really intervene in their children's marital problems?We'll tell you the answer!Please share your views and discussions in the comments section below.