Let me introduce myself, I am Ning Mei, 29 years old this year. Recently, my expectations for love and family have been completely shattered after a lot of twists and turns.
This story starts with when my husband began to emphasize that we should implement the AA system after I got married. Whether it's the trivial expenses in life or the big and small things, he insists that we divide them equally.
Ironically, when his parents were unwell, he expected me to take care of them. I resolutely refused: "They can solve their own problems." ”
My husband Gao Qiquan and I met in college, and we were both studying at that time. After graduating, we went to graduate school together, and we were fellow villagers, and these commonalities brought us together.
The sweet time of first love immersed me in it. At that time, my living expenses were just over 2,000, and his living expenses barely reached 1,000.
Whether it's a festival or a daily routine, he always insists on paying the bill. In my heart, Gao Qiquan is a man who takes me to heart.
When I got married, I discovered some things that I hadn't noticed before, which changed my perspective on marriage and my partner a little. My husband Gao Qiquan's family is not financially well-off, and he has no house or car, but my parents think that being good to me is enough, and everything else is secondary.
After we got married, we didn't buy a house for the time being due to financial reasons, and we have been living at my parents' house. Saving money is good, but we still want to have our own home. So we discussed buying a commercial house with a total price of 680,000 yuan and a down payment of more than 200,000 yuan.
Things started to get different, and I saw a different side of Gao Qiquan. He suggested that we each make half of the down payment and make half of the loan in the future. I was a little surprised at the time, but I agreed, because the house was shared by us.
What he said next made me uncomfortable, and he mentioned that he was doing this to prevent future divorces and to ensure that both parties would not lose their assets. His tone was joking, but I felt strange to him. At this time, our marriage was not yet fully AA system.
Later, he proposed that we adopt the AA system in our future lives, and that the money we earn should be spent by ourselves, and the family expenses should be shared equally. It makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I feel like what kind of husband and wife are like thisHe said that because his monthly income is more than 10,000 yuan, mine is more than 5,000, so we spend our own money, and the money is enough anyway.
Gao Qiquan's decision made me angry, but he was already iron-hearted, and it would be useless for me to oppose it, so I could only endure it silently.
Since then, we have lived an AA life, with every expense being split equally. This made me feel that Gao Qiquan was becoming more and more selfish, and our relationship was gradually fading.
But he doesn't seem to see it that way, and enjoys it. Later, he proposed to have children, but I refused.
My reason is that if I have children, I can't work, so where will our family's expenses come from?
He said: "As long as you agree to have a child, I will contribute 5,000 yuan a month to support your mother and son." "I can't accept this kind of face-looking life, so I insist on refusing, which makes Gao Qiquan very unhappy.
Soon after, he told me that his parents were coming to live in our house because the house was going to be renovated, and I had no objection.
However, when his parents arrived, I had a cold attitude. The meeting is simply a matter of saying hello and then hiding back in your room.
I eat out almost always because I'm worried that if I eat at home, they will be worried if they know about the AA system.
But Gao Qiquan didn't see it that way, he felt that I had an opinion, and thought it was a sign of unfilial piety, and we quarreled about it.
When my in-laws found out, they talked to me and hoped to resolve the conflict. But I was worried that revealing the reason for the quarrel would cause unnecessary trouble, so I chose to remain silent.
In fact, I also longed to save the family and restore the warm atmosphere, so I endured it and looked forward to the change of my husband. However, three years later, something happened that completely disappointed me.
When my father was sick, I happened to be on a business trip and couldn't accompany him to the hospital, so I had to ask Gao Qiquan to take him to the hospital. The doctor diagnosed a heart problem that required hospitalization**. But my husband has been delaying the payment of the hospitalization fee, and he just keeps calling ** to report his condition to me and discuss the issue of money.
It made me angry. He said something that made me completely hopeless.
He claimed to have consulted a doctor and estimated that the ** cost would be about 30,000 yuan, and he thought that the money should be paid by me because it was my father.
My heart is full of anger: how can you not think that he is my father when we have no house to live in for the past few years, eating and drinking for nothing at my parents' house?
Did he never ask you for a penny of living expenses?Now you're talking to me about your father's medical expenses, what's going on with your heart?
Since the AA system is to be implemented, it must be fully implemented, and the respective parents are responsible for it. He had already said so resolutely, I didn't say more, and immediately gave him 50,000 yuan.
Soon, my mother-in-law wanted to buy an insurance policy that required 100,000 yuan, which was equivalent to her retirement pension after the age of 60.
Gao Qiquan said that he didn't have enough money, because his funds had been invested in wealth management products, and he had left some money to buy a big house, so he wanted me to contribute half of it, that is, 50,000 yuan, to buy my mother's insurance.
He said that once this insurance is purchased, the burden on us in the future will be greatly reduced.
I sneered: "When my father was hospitalized, you asked me to bear the expenses alone. Now your mother wants to buy insurance, but she wants me to pay half of it, what's going on?In your words, your own parents raised themselves. ”
We had another big fight, which eventually led to a divorce. Although Gao Qiquan was reluctant to divorce and tried his best to redeem it, I had already made up my mind.
When the property was divided, Gao Qiquan was greatly surprised. Because we have always practiced the AA system, the issue of property division is very simple. After the house is sold, the money received is divided equally.
After getting the money, I smiled and finally got out of this suffocating marriage.
I'm getting older, but I still have a long way to go in life. Getting rid of my burdens, I can pursue new happiness without worry.
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