In real lifeOftenhappensIn this case, there is no shortage of children with excellent grades in school, even graduates of prestigious universities, once they enter the society, there is no shortage of mediocre studentsMost of those who have made a difference have become experts and scholars. In school, repeaters with poor academic performance or even failed grades, dropouts, after entering the society, when they met in a few years, some of them became officials, and some made a fortune ......It makes people shake their heads, evenBe at fault.
Throughout the ages, the Chinese nation has attached great importance to the development of intellectual factors in both family education and school educationParents and teachers praise their children for many years: "This child is smart and has good academic performance"; "This student is willing to work hard and always comes out on top in his exams.""This child has good intelligence, and he will definitely be successful in the future".Therefore, the intelligence quotient (IQ) has almost become the only criterion for judging whether a person can succeed and whether he can achieve it.
In the 21st century, however, it is surprising to discover other important factors that affect human successSome outstanding scientists in the West have shown through a large number of studies that in addition to the human intelligence quotient, there is another reference element of life science, called "emotional quotient", also known as emotional quotient, referred to as "EQ", which is the abbreviation of two English words.
When Shalovey gave the basic definition of EQ, it covered the personal intelligence of Garner, and then expanded it into five categories:
1. Know your emotions. Recognizing the nature of emotions is the basis of EQ, and this ability to recognize feelings at any time is very important for understanding oneselfThose who do not know their true feelings will inevitably become slaves to their feelings. On the contrary, only by mastering feelings can you become the master of life and face marriageWork and other major life events to know how to choose.
2. Manage your emotions properly. Emotional management must be based on self-knowledge, how to self-soothe, get rid of anxiety, gloom or restlessness. Those who are deprived of this area often have to contend with low moods, while those who are in control can quickly get out of the low tide of life and start anew.
3. Self-motivation. Whether it's to focus, self-motivate, or be creative, it's absolutely essential to focus your emotions on a goal, and it takes emotional self-control to achieve anything—restraining impulses and delaying gratificationMaintaining a high level of enthusiasm is the driving force of all achievements. Generally speaking, people who can be self-motivated are more efficient at doing anything.
4. Recognize the emotions of others. Compassionare basic interpersonal skills, which are also based on self-knowledge.
5. Management of interpersonal relationships. RelationshipsIt is the art of managing the emotions of others. A person's popularity, leadership ability, and interpersonal harmony are all related to this ability, and those who fully master this ability are often the best in society.
In view of the above connotation of emotional intelligence, the latest foreign research shows that the most accurate and amazing achievement measurement standard is EQ, not IQ. Some experts sayIQ (Intelligence Quotient) determines lifeof20%, and EQ dominates 80% of life.
The American "Time" magazine said that the emotional quotient reflects a person's ability to control their emotions, withstand external pressure, and grasp their psychological balance. After various tests and investigations, it has been proved that emotional intelligence is more important to people than IQ, and it largely determines the handling of a person's marriage, work and entire interpersonal relationshipsEven affects the success of his career, emotional intelligence also determines the fate of a family and a business to a large extent.
As long as you pay a little attention, among your classmates, what are the top students and even top students doing now? What happened to the inferior students and troublemakers of the past? In a unit, people with real talents and real learning are not as good as those with mediocre performance? There are some people who can eat well in harmony with each other, but few of these people are professional and excellent at work. The former is a person who has good things to fall into; The latter are people who have worked too much and have been repeatedly frustrated.
Most of the weaknesses of human nature are like to compliment and are afraid of exposing shortcomings, and we often express regret and indignation at the practices of some leaders, but in fact, you and I are not necessarily much stronger than that leader......
Interpersonal relationships have a great impact on a person's future and destiny, and most people with better interpersonal relationships are people who are good at tolerance and patience. There was an experiment in which a group of children walked into an empty hall and put a gummy candy for each child in the most prominent position in the hall. The test teacher said to each child who was going to walk in: "If you can hold on and not eat this piece of candy by the time the teacher comes to call you out, there will be a reward for you, and you will be given another piece of gummy, that is."You will get two gummies. If you can't wait for the teacher to come and eat the candy, then you can only get this one. The experiment began, and the children walked into the hall one by one.
It turned out that some children had no ability to control, because the adults were not in him and couldn't stand the sugar **, so they ate the sugar. There are also some children who, knowing what they have just asked, think that if they hold on a little longer, they will get two pieces of candy. So control yourself, divert your attention, sing, jump, just don't look at the piece of candy, and wait until the teacher comes. So you get a reward and get a second piece of sugar.
The experts divided the children into two groups, the children who were able to hold on to two pieces of candy and those who could not hold on to only one piece of candy. Conduct long-term follow-up surveys with them. It was found that those who received only one piece of candy generally did not succeed in those who received two pieces of candy.
You may now ask, how do you measure your emotional intelligence for adults? Although psychologists have not formulated a unified standard, the author believes that as long as you pay attention to observation in daily life, it is not difficult to find out the level of emotional intelligence coefficient between yourself and others. For example, on the bus to work, a passenger who accidentally stepped on his foot and opened his mouth to reprimand or curse; Several people who were late at the same time and were the first to be dissatisfied when they were criticized by the leader, and even found reasons to refute them; People who are the first to be impatient or angry when negotiating business; People who usually argue about issues and are red faced and excited; When the traffic jam is urgent, restless, and even whining and scolding the people on the street ......
There are also people who are panicked and unable to control themselves when they suddenly encounter unexpected eventsThose who rebel immediately when they encounter injustice; People who are very sensitive to the diseases of their body and moan a lot, etc.
If you know that your low emotional intelligence is not good for success through observation and comparison, then what can be done to compensate for it?
To be continued).