Go back to the countryside for a funeral, no one griefs, and the process becomes very simple!
In a blink of an eye, the third brother-in-law had already passed away on the third anniversary, and his hometown called ** a few days ago and asked him to go home for the third anniversary. Originally, the end of the year was approaching, and I thought it would be good to go home early, so I went back early. I brought my family to participate that day, but I found a very strange phenomenon, the number of people who came was only one thing, and the second was that everyone was almost not sad, as if they were doing a task, and it was like a party. After I came down from the funeral, I was thinking, is it perfunctory to the current human feelings?
The third aunt was actually not born by my grandmother, it was brought back from the outside by the neighbor Grandma Zhang, but Grandma Zhang's family was even poorer, and they originally wanted to raise the child for their own support, but they really couldn't raise it, so they threw it away, and they couldn't get over it on their conscience, so Grandma Zhang sent the child to our house, and this person was later my third aunt.
The third aunt actually knew her background for a long time, but she didn't say anything, after all, she was indeed raised by my grandmother little by little, and later told her about a mother-in-law. When my third aunt just had her first child, my grandmother and my aunt both went over to help take care of them for a while, and when they had their second child, my grandmother also sent a lot of clothes.
Every year, the third aunt comes to visit the New Year, first to our house, and then to Grandma Zhang's house.
For so many years, it has always been like this, and everyone has seen through it without saying anything, so they follow the heart of the third aunt.
The situation of their family is not very good, it has always been difficult, the third aunt himself is sick, and he has not been able to do any heavy work, and the third aunt works at home every day. However, her two children are still healthy and very good, which is very gratifying to the third aunt.
However, the third aunt's son Junhui is a little troublesome, he has not succeeded in the blind date in the first few years, which has made the third aunt and uncle more upset, and they can't do any workEven, they often quarrel with each other. Junhui was angry, so he ran directly to Guangzhou, and never returned to his hometown for the New Year.
Later, the third aunt gave her daughter's marriage, and her daughter Yanzi's in-laws are near the village, close to it, although the third aunt thought about Junhui in her heart, she was also sad by Junhui, but fortunately, her daughter is sensible and often goes to see her, which is also gratifying.
That year, I returned to my hometown from other places to work, and it was a cold winter, and I received the ** from home, saying that the third uncle might be leaving, so I asked me to go back and take a look.
I remember clearly that afternoon, I followed my second uncle from the city to my home, and just after entering our village, I saw a car stop in front of me, and a person got out of the car, he was wearing a white hat and a hemp rope around his waist, and under the leadership of an elder, he knelt down and kowtowed when he saw the elders of our village, and the elder began to smoke.
I still remember this scene.
It turned out that Junhui had come to report the funeral.
My second uncle and I still haven't seen my uncle for the last time, and we came back late after all.
The funeral was held as scheduled, and there was a lot of crying in the house, and I couldn't stand such a scene, so I didn't go in.
After the funeral, I forgot how long it was, and when I went home again, I learned that Junhui brought his third aunt to Guangzhou, and he may not come back for the New Year.
Sure enough, for three consecutive years, their home was closed and no one lived.
In the past three years, Yanzi has participated in all the big and small things in the family, whose child is married, whose old man dies, whose child is born, etc., almost all of Yanzi comes forward alone, and she comes forward on behalf of her mother.
Grandma said that what the countryside cares about most is the sophistication of people, the so-called door, is to see if you have contact with others, what is the sophistication of people? If you don't come, then why should I go?
Sometimes, the eldest uncle and the second uncle will also call the third aunt and ask her to come back to attend the funeral of whom, the wedding of the child, and so on.
But the third aunt is also helpless.
First, she didn't know how to read and couldn't take the train, and second, she lost her direction, and she couldn't tell the difference between east and west, north and south when she left the house, and she never came back for three years.
Grandma said that as long as she is okay, then forget it, and we don't care about the rest.
The third aunt's home is closed, and no one has ever been to it again. Sometimes I take my grandmother to the market town to buy vegetables, and when I see that Yanzi is also shopping, I will buy something for her. I don't know how the swallow's life is, after all, there is really little contact, but I heard the uncle say that if you meet the swallow at home, you can help or help. When I heard this, I knew a little bit about it.
The third aunt has been gone for three years.
This year, it is exactly three years, and according to the rules, I have to do it for my uncle for three years.
They came back early, prepared a lot of things, and I followed my family back to my hometown.
I haven't seen my third aunt for a few years, but when I see her this time, I feel a lot older, my hair is gray, my eyes are blank, I can't say three words and I start crying, and between the words, it's all negative energy, what"People live for a lifetime", or "People live one day at a time, and there is nothing to look forward to." ”
When she said this, a group of us persuaded her to think about it, and there are still children, and life should go on as usual.
But the third aunt kept crying and never meant to stop.
It was close to eleven o'clock, and many people came to attend the funeral one after another, and the third aunt and her family came out to greet them, saying some sad words.
At the point in time, the grave visit begins.
But this funeral always makes me feel weird, I don't know if the third anniversary is the atmosphere, or because the third aunt hasn't been home for three years, it will be like this?
First of all, there are few people. Not to mention how many people from their village came, even the relatives did not come very much, of course, during this time period, many factories have not yet had holidays, so there are not many people who come back, which is understandable, and another point is that the third aunt has not come back to participate in anyone's major events in the past three years. And when you do your own things, people are not polite, and the meaning is enough.
Secondly, I found that the whole funeral was not sad for a few people, especially Junhui, as if he was doing a task, as if he had waited for three years, and finally did it, so he didn't have to worry about anything in the future. There was no one crying at the scene, it was very plain and a very simple process.
Finally, and what surprised me a lot, was the cheerfulness. As mentioned earlier, almost no one was sad at the scene, on the contrary, everyone talked and laughed, as if it was a party. In the village, everyone hasn't seen each other for a long time, and a funeral is like an opportunity, everyone meets each other, chats, and talks, isn't this a party?
I don't know whether to be sad or relieved of this situation, but I always feel that the funeral is so relaxed and happy now?
When we went to the cemetery, everyone's mood was still a little restrained, but when we finished our work and came back from the field, everyone cheered, talked and laughed, without the slightest emotion, and it can even be said that in just a few minutes, the third anniversary of the funeral was finally completed.
Because it was the third anniversary, we tied a lot of horses, carts, houses, etc., which are all traditions on our side, and when we pulled them to the cemetery, it only took a few minutes to burn everything down.
As the last thick black smoke rose, we also knew that this funeral was over, and this third anniversary was also over, and in the future, in addition to the third aunt's family, there would hardly be any other relatives to come to see this land.
There were also a lot of children who came to the funeral, and I remember clearly that when many children saw the horses, carts and other things we tied, they asked, what is the point of tying this, what is the point of tying this, and what are you doing with it when everyone is gone?
yes, what are you doing with it? Perhaps, it's just a thought, just a thought. It is one of the ways for people who are alive to mourn the deceased.
I remember that we started our work a few days in advance, and we started to be busy at seven o'clock that day, but it was only in a few minutes, under the shouting of a principal, it was completely over.
A person, an elder, he passed away for three years, and this family was locked for three years, and three years later, everyone got together again because of the death day, went through a process and a form, and then it was over?
Maybe it is, or maybe not, I don't know.
I just know that the third aunt hasn't come back for three years, this hometown is dilapidated, the people in this hometown are sophisticated, and she really hasn't participated, and the neighbors haven't come to help or anything, I deeply understand.
The funeral feast was soon over. Three years ago, the banquet was held in the hotel, and three years later, it was held at home, I don't know whose idea it was, but I still agree with this approach, after all, you haven't been home for three years, and if you come back to do such a big thing, if it is not placed in the old yard, who knows that you are doing business? Who can remember you?
When everyone dispersed, a few of us were helping to clean up the garbage in the yard, and while talking, I asked the third aunt, do you want to follow Junhui to the field? Will it take years to go?
The third aunt smiled and said, if you don't leave, you should also tell Junhui about family affairs, he is not young, and he should also show up.
I think too, someone in the family died, and there could be no happy events for three years, but now that three years have passed, Junhui is so old that it is time to get married.
Back then, because of the marriage, the third uncle quarreled with Junhui a lot, and now, if he wants to quarrel, he has no chance to quarrel!
Besides, there must still be people in the hometown, and if there is no one's hometown, it can only be said to be an empty house, and gradually, the people in the village will forget about this empty house, and no one will worry about who lives here.
If one day it is your turn to do something, no one will participate, and the scene will be deserted, how embarrassing it will be!