The more incompetent the parents, the more they like to pretend to be generous in three aspects, and the child is embarrassed and lacks face!
Preface. All children want to be cared for, respected, and supported by their parents. However, in order to make a good impression on their children, some parents pretend to be generous on some issues, but do not take into account the true feelings of their children, making them miserable and losing face. In this article, I will talk about three aspects that the more incompetent parents are, the more they like them"Pretend to be generous", the child suffers and suffers, but does not get real face.
Praise"Someone else's child", belittled their own children.
As their children grow up, many parents compare other children with their own, praise and criticize. However, some parents tend to praise other children in front of others and belittle their own, which not only damages their children's self-esteem, but also makes them feel helpless and lonely.
At my neighbor's house, there are two mothers, and they often talk together. One day, Mom A said to Mom B:"Your son has good grades and is second in his class! I'm dying of jealousy. You see, my son just got a mediocre grade"。And the mother of the rich man B replied:"Yes, this is the result of his own efforts, he studied until more than ten o'clock in the evening! "The mother of treasure A ran to her son and said:"You see that people study so late, you go to play with your mobile phone, your brain is too stupid, no wonder your grades are not good! "This humiliation of one's own children is deplorable. Hearing such words, Mao Maoyi's son lost face in front of his classmates and outsiders while feeling inferior. This behavior of parents does not provide an environment for their children to grow up with confidence and security.
Parents' criticism and praise should be fair and objective, rather than praising other people's children while belittling their own children. Parents should understand that every child has their own strengths and weaknesses, and as they grow up, what is needed is understanding and support, not criticism and belittlement. Parents should remember that a happy, confident child is what is truly valuable.
Heavy"Someone else's child"And light their own children.
In a family, if there is a conflict between two children, some parents will blame their children first without getting to the bottom of the matter. It's unfair to children, and they need the understanding and support of their parents to grow.
I have a classmate named Xiaolan, and her parents always take care of other people's children and neglect their own children. Once, Xiaolan was bullied at school. After his father went to the school to listen to various opinions, he did not hesitate to support Xiaolan, and made the matter bigger, and even called the police. This kind of support and belief keeps Xiaolan away from bullying. On the other hand, some parents are eager to blame their children before they find out the truth of the matter, and even choose to protect their children, which makes their children feel helpless and belittled. When a child has an argument, parents should first find out what is going on and give their child fair judgment and support.
Please"Someone else's child"and neglect their children.
Some parents like to please other people's children, but ignore their own children's needs and feelings. These parents often regard other people's children as benchmarks, always putting forward high expectations and requirements, but not giving enough recognition and encouragement to their own children's efforts and achievements.
For example, some parents always think how good other people's children are, and always compare other people's children's grades with their own. This kind of behavior will make the child feel that no matter how hard he tries, he will not be good enough, causing psychological burden and pressure on the child. Parents should be more concerned about their children's growth and progress, support them, and give them enough confidence and encouragement.
Summary. Parental ones"Fake generous"It will cause trouble to the child, and at the same time, he will not really get face. As parents, we must recognize that children need to grow up with love, respect and support, not praise and hide their true feelings from others.
We should praise and criticize our own children truthfully and fairly, rather than praising other people's children and belittling our own. We must satisfy our own children and not condemn them for the sake of pleasing others. We should nurture and support our children's development rather than ignoring their needs and feelings.
When we truly care for and support our children, they feel understood and respected and can grow up in a safe and happy environment. That's what it's really like.