"The Way of Heaven" Wang Zhiwen: No matter who is in front of you, as long as you don't owe him, don't be submissive, if you behave weakly, others will look down on you.
Let's use dialectics to analyze this sentence.
Wishfulness is the absence of struggle, the substitution of someone else's self for one's own self, that is, no self.
Weakness means that there is no fighting nature, so that others think that he can beat you, so he will look down on you and bully you easily.
If you can outdo him and make others look down on you, it will be good for you. If you are similar to him, or inferior to him, then it is not good for others to look down on you, because he will bully you.
On the contrary, if you move from weakness to strength, from submissiveness to independence, others may value you.
Doing things ends with victory, and what naturally shows to the outside is to be strong.
Define what victory is before you do it, and you can do it. Without defining what a win is, you most likely won't be able to do it.
For example, if you set a goal to lose three pounds, you will win, and you will definitely be able to experience many victories, so as to continuously enhance your confidence and achieve your final victory.
In the TV series "Soldier Assault", Xu Sanduo has been a weak person since he was a child, and his father called him "turtle son". At home, he relies on the protection of his second brother, and he has to rely on the squad leader when he reaches the recruit company.
Doing belly wrapping, he started with a small goal, but in the end he achieved a number that even the whole company couldn't do.
When he went to the fifth class of the grassland, he built a road by himself, and building the road was the goal of victory he set for himself, and he completed it, which shocked everyone in the eyes of outsiders.
Reading cured my mental internal friction and returned to the Seventh Company of Gang, and later became an old A, that is, he set himself a goal to achieve, and his self-confidence also increased.
1. Think about and propose the conditions of obedience.
2. Turn submissiveness into a transaction.
In Flowers, the proprietors of the Yellow River Road come to Reiko in Tokyo to find Mr. Bao and ask Reiko to warn Mr. Bao not to mix with their run to the real garden. Reiko was kind on the surface, and she agreed, but asked the proprietress to pay 2,000 yuan for refreshments when she left. This made the proprietress see that Reiko is not weak and can be bullied.
3. Construct a three-way game and oppose it with the help of the other side.
For example, if you have a good idea, let's have a meeting and try to get someone's support.
In this way, the transformation from obedience to opposition, from having no self to having a self is achieved.
Owing means that he is your creditor and you are the debtor. Creditors and debtors form a set of heads and tails. When faced with creditors, there are three possibilities:
1. Let him become a small creditor and a big creditor.
For example, if you owe the bank 10,000 yuan, the bank will definitely try to force you to repay the debt, and there will be no resistance to forcing you to repay the debt; If you don't pay it back, the bank will put you on a "blacklist" and make your credit suffer.
If you owe the bank a trillion yuan, there are generally large industrial projects, if you encounter financial difficulties, the bank will not sit idly by, and may give you additional loans, because the bank is afraid that you will cause their non-performing loans to rise sharply, so they must help you through the crisis, so you have the ability to repay.
2. To achieve a status swap with him, you become his creditor and he becomes your debtor.
3. He is both your creditor and your debtor. You are both his creditor and his debtor.
As long as any possibility is realized, the relationship between you and him is still healthy, and it will naturally be valued by the other party.
On the other hand, if you can't achieve these three transformations, then your relationship is unhealthy, and then he may look down on you.