There was a question on Zhihu:
How to run a good marriage?
The women's answers are varied, while the men's answers have only one answer:
Use a man's thinking to get a man, and your marriage will be happy.
As mentioned in the psychology monograph, men come from Mars, women come from Venus, and the thinking patterns of men and women are completely different.
Therefore, understanding the secrets that men are unwilling to say and using men's thinking to get men is the premise of a good marriage.
Secret 1: Men need cave time
What should you do if you see your man in a bad mood?
Most women will come forward to ask men with concern: What's wrong with you? Is something wrong?
But Xiaoya admonished the woman
Be sure not to continue to ask, if the man doesn't want to talk, just want to be quiet for a while, let him stay by himself.
Continue to get to the bottom of it, not only will the man be impatient, but your own mood will also be infected by negative emotions, and the two of you will even quarrel because of it.
In the first few years of marriage, as long as she saw her husband in a bad mood, Xiaoya couldn't help but come forward to care. But every time a man doesn't appreciate it, it's not that it's nothing, it's just that he doesn't say a word, puts on a stinky face, and in the end it always makes both of them unhappy, and sometimes Xiaoya is still angry and has a big fight with the man.
Once, Xiaoya found that before the man went home, he secretly smoked in the car, and after the cigarette was finished, he would slowly go home, and after returning home, his face and attitude would be slightly better.
Later, the man told the truth:
When I say to you, it's nothing, or rather, let me be by myself for a while, you don't pay attention to me, I really just want to be quiet for a while, digest my emotions, I will be irritated if you ask any question.
Psychological research has proven that men need "cave time".
When a man is under pressure and encounters difficulties, he will be more inclined to choose a quiet space to heal himself without being disturbed.
It's a way of self-regulation that's engraved in our genes.
So, if you find that your significant other has entered the cave time, you just need to leave him a quiet space, or pour him a glass of water and give him a hug, which is enough.
Secret 2: Men like to get the attention of the opposite sex
When it comes to men, there are always women who think that those men who like to mess with flowers and grass and are keen on cheating and chatting are all men from other people's families.
The man of his own family is a moral model selected by himself, and he will never do the dirty thing of betraying his feelings and betraying his family.
Therefore, when one day they suddenly find that the man in their family also has a very unbearable side, many women will question, disbelieve, and feel that their three views have been subverted.
As a result, he fell into the hurt of betrayal for a long time, and he couldn't get out of it for a long time.
In fact, psychologists tell you that even low-key men like to attract the attention of the opposite sex.
There is no absolute fidelity in marriage, betrayal is instinct, loyalty is choice.
Men don't betray just because they don't have enough chips, and women don't cheat just because they don't have enough seduction.
As a typical representative of honest men, Lao Zhang knows the little ninety-nine of men.
Take himself as an example, although he usually speaks little, but in front of ambiguous objects, he was also humorous, generous, decent, and empathetic.
Lao Zhang has no other specialties, but his hands-on ability is first-class, and he is very good at handling some trivial chores in housework.
Therefore, he will always give full play to his one of his advantages, and often solve small problems in life for that ambiguous object.
The so-called man who can do housework is the most handsome, and Lao Zhang used this to capture the other party's heart.
In the end, he couldn't take that step, not because Lao Zhang didn't have ideas and guts, but because that woman had a better new love.
Marriage is a waltz for two people, don't take it for granted, look at the man in your own family with a woman's mind.
Behind the perfect marriage, there must be a man and a woman, to understand each other to the greatest extent.
Women must remember that it is men who know men best. You have to learn to use a man's thinking to get a man. Gender life