I'm here to talk about homely things
part.01
After the Chinese New Year this year, Uncle Zhao's children are ready to send Uncle Zhao to a nursing home. But this time, Uncle Zhao was reluctant to go.
Uncle Zhao, an old man in his 70s, his life can be said to be full of ups and downs and dedication.
When he was young, his family was too poor, and in order to raise three children, he and his wife left their children to do all kinds of work, do everything to make money, and even almost got caught in prison because of this.
The daughter-in-law chose to leave him because of this, leaving his three children alone.
Despite the countless hardships and dangers that life has given him, he never gives up and always faces everything with optimism and strength. After twenty or thirty years of hard work, the three children finally grew up, walked out of the countryside, and settled in the city.
And the work is very good, the two sons married their daughters-in-law and gave birth to babies, and the daughters have also found a good home.
It seems that everything is getting better, and Uncle Zhao is also full of expectations for his future life. However, as time goes by, except for the youngest daughter who comes home from time to time, the sons' ** is getting less and less, and the number of times they go home is gradually decreasing.
If it weren't for the fact that the sons came back for the New Year every year, those who didn't know would really think that Uncle Zhao was a lonely old man! And in the past few years, because the daughter-in-law and grandson are not used to living in the countryside, the time for the sons to stay at home during the New Year is getting shorter and shorter, often coming back in the evening of the thirtieth day and leaving in the afternoon of the first day of the new year.
Uncle Zhao is not resentful of this, and always finds excuses to defend his sons, thinking that it is not easy for them to be outside, and they should be given more understanding and support.
part.02
It wasn't until last winter, when Uncle Zhao accidentally fell and injured his leg, that he realized that he was old and needed to be taken care of. So he took the initiative to contact his sons for the first time, hoping to go to the city to recuperate, however, in the face of their father's request, both sons hesitated, each with their own excuses.
After some deliberation, Uncle Zhao was finally placed in a nursing home in the city.
According to him, the nursing home is good anywhere, but it is too "suffocating" panic. Because he can't speak Mandarin and his life experience is too different, Uncle Zhao and the old men and ladies in the same hospital have nothing to say at all, except for eating, sleeping, and going to the toilet every day, they can only sit stupidly. After more than two months, I feel like I'm about to get Alzheimer's.
So after going home for the New Year this time, he didn't want to go to the nursing home again.
But the attitude of the two sons is also very clear, they are both busy and do not have time to take care of their father, so they have to go to a nursing home. After a stalemate between the two sides for a long time, Uncle Zhao's youngest daughter finally rushed back and took the initiative to take care of her father.
Although he didn't have to go to a nursing home, Uncle Zhao's mood did not improve. In the past few days, he often cried and said to us: "They all say that sons are good, and raising children can prevent old age, but when they are old, their daughters are in front of them, and sons and daughters are really different!" ”
Although Uncle Zhao cried that his son was not as filial as his daughter, in fact, there is no gender difference in filial piety, and the main thing is how to educate the child.
part.03
If you want to avoid Uncle Zhao's tragedy in the future, parents must do at least three things:
1. Parents set a good example of filial piety for their children
Every step of children's growth is silently imitating the words and deeds of their parents. When parents show respect and love for their elders in their lives, children naturally learn the importance of filial piety.
For example, when children see that their parents do not forget to call their grandparents who are far away every day, care about their diet and daily life, or take the whole family back to visit their hometown on holidays, these behaviors are invisibly educating children and making them understand the importance of mutual support between family members.
This kind of education is far more profound than language teaching, which can make children feel the warmth of family and the power of family affection from the bottom of their hearts, so as to cultivate their inner filial piety.
2. Cultivate children's gratitude
In everyday life, parents should teach their children to be grateful. It's not just gratitude to their parents, it's gratitude to all those who have given them help and love.
For example, parents can let their children experience a day of housework during the holidays, or participate in charity activities to experience the joy of helping others. This experience allows children to understand that every love and help they receive is precious and worthy of their gratitude and cherishment. At the same time, let them understand the hard work of their parents and feel the difficulty of life, so that children can learn to cherish it.
Many parents in China are reluctant to tell their children about their difficulties, thinking that it is too hypocritical. In fact, it is not necessary, it is necessary to say it when it is time to say, so that children can realize the difficulties of their parents.
Through this kind of education, children will gradually form an internal motivation in the process of growing up, driving them to face any difficulties in their future lives with a grateful heart.
3. Treat children equally
Equity is a very important part of family education.
Although the concept of equality between men and women has been preached for many years, many parents still have the old idea of preference for sons. This kind of thinking will cause the relationship between children to deteriorate, the favored children do not know how to be grateful, and the neglected children have resentment, jealousy and other psychology.
When it comes time to provide for their parents in the future, the favored child is reluctant to take responsibility or asks for an equal distribution of responsibility. Children who are neglected will feel that they have not been nurtured well, so they are not willing to take responsibility, let alone distribute it equally.
As a result, there are no children willing to provide for the elderly.
Therefore, if you don't want to become the second Uncle Zhao in the future, you should pay more attention when educating your children.
I am Jelly Bean's mother, a post-90s mother, accompanying Jelly Bean'er to grow up while "fighting monsters".