On the road to growth, every child may have a period of rebellion, which is undoubtedly a challenge for parents. Below, I would like to share with a mother how she found an effective coping strategy from confusion and helplessness to help her child move from rebellion to maturity.
The mother said
I remember that when my child entered junior high school, the peaceful life of the family seemed to be washed away by an uneasy air current. In those days, he began to become obsessed with talking back and indulging in games, and his grades plummeted. I tried to get him to obey in the usual way, but I found that the effect was gradually failing. Whenever he made suggestions about his initiatives and learning progress, he would be met with fierce **. During the summer vacation, I even enrolled in a cram school in the hope of helping him improve his grades, but this only exacerbated his avoidance and antagonism.
During this time, I asked myself almost every day, "Why has my child become so rebellious?" "After reflection, I started learning about parenting online and consulted with education experts. Experts tell me that adolescent rebellion is actually a manifestation of an awakening of self-awareness, a desire to be independent and understood.
Under the guidance of experts, I learned three key strategies:
Parents must learn to manage their emotions. In the face of my child's challenges, I learned to calm down and no longer respond in an angry way, but to try to understand him from his point of view. Whenever I prepare to have a conversation with my child, I take a deep breath and ask myself, "What kind of outcome do I want?" "In this way, communication can be more peaceful and effective.
I began to observe and feel the real needs of my child. Once, when my son was in a bad mood, I would ask him, "Why are you so angry?" Instead of immediately criticizing. This empathetic approach made him gradually willing to open up to me and tell me about his confusion and dissatisfaction.
I learned to let go. For some of my child's choices, I began to try to respect his decision. For example, I ask him for advice before arranging extracurricular activities. Respecting children's choices not only enhances their autonomy, but also reduces unnecessary conflicts.
Time is like an artist, slowly carving my son, from an uncarved rough stone to a lustrous work of art. Looking back on the days when I was desperate at one time, I finally understand that every child's growth requires the patience and understanding of parents. When we as parents can truly feel the world from the perspective of our children, we can find the key to resolving rebellion and guiding their growth. Through this experience, I believe that no matter how stubborn a child is, as long as they are guided with their hearts, they can find their own direction and become the teenager we are proud of.