The word middle-aged can always make people feel a little heavy. For many people, this is an age when they are constantly oscillating between ideals and reality, between self and others. We may all have been lost in the doubts of others, desperate to prove ourselves, but forgetting what our original selves were. But is it really necessary? Today, let's talk about why when people reach middle age, we should learn to let go of the attachment to "innocence".
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The troubles of middle age and the pressure of "innocence".
After going through the youthful years and entering the age of no confusion, we seem to care more about other people's opinions. A word or a look may become a fuse for us to reflect on ourselves. However, Chen Danqing, a heavyweight in the field of psychology, told us, "You don't have to keep telling people what kind of person I am, because it's invalid." This sentence is like a wake-up call that we don't have to try to prove ourselves to the world. So, why do we need to learn to let go of this excessive sense of "innocence"?
Why should we let go of our "sense of innocence".
Sister Li's story may be more or less reflected in many people. She grew up in a traditional family, where her mother did the housework. Her dad would only point fingers and find faults and trouble. , Sister Li's mother will only take the responsibility and blame herself.
Sister Li's upbringing made her subconsciously believe that the key to family harmony lies in her dedication and sacrifice. She took her mother's housework and her father's pickiness and strictness as the norm in the family, and naturally inherited this family tradition, incarnating herself as the pillar and lubricant of the family.
In her heart, the peace of the family is all her responsibility. Sister Li's dedication is almost all-round, from picking up and dropping off children to taking care of her husband, from honoring her in-laws to doing housework, she tries her best to make every family member feel comfortable and satisfied. But this excess investment did not win the understanding and recognition of her family, but the complaints and accusations of her children, husband and even in-laws became her daily routine.
Sister Li's story shows us that excessive dedication and the pursuit of a perfect family image do not always bring laughter. Her confusion and sadness are a true portrayal of many middle-aged people. Consultant Chen Haixian's words pointed her out: "Not all the responsibility is yours, and you can also attribute the responsibility to others. "It's a signal to release ourselves and pursue personal happiness, reminding us to find ourselves in our roles as children, parents, and spouses, to learn to say no at the right time, to learn to distribute responsibilities reasonably, and to return life to its essence – not perfect, but beautiful enough.
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In fact, real relationships are built on helping each other and "getting into trouble" with each other. We're afraid of causing trouble to others, but we don't know that this is the foundation of a deep relationship. Just like the plot in Puppy Money, through a series of help and troubles, the protagonist develops a deep relationship with others. This story teaches us that sometimes making yourself a part of someone else's life is the key to building a lasting relationship.
Finally, learn to accept help from others. Dale Carnegie said in "The Weakness of Human Nature" that "letting someone do a little thing for you" not only strengthens friendships, but also makes people feel worthy. In Harper Lee's story, it was because she finally accepted the help of her friends that she had the opportunity to create that great work, To Kill a Mockingbird.
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Embrace your true self and live your true freedom
So, dear middle-aged friends, let's start to let go of those unnecessary "innocences". You don't have to pay too much attention to the gaze of others, and you don't have to lose yourself for the approval of others. What we need is to pay more attention to our inner feelings and live for ourselves.
When we start to really think about ourselves, we will find that life is so colorful and comfortable. We no longer have to be a "good person" and no longer have to be burdened with responsibilities that do not belong to us. At this stage of middle age, let us learn to accept the kindness of others easily, know when to say no, and know how to live gracefully. In the process, we will find happiness and freedom that truly belongs to us.