When I was a child, my family was so poor that I couldn't afford to buy a new dress, a homework book, or a pencil sharpener all year round.
Since the age of eight, he has been standing on a stool to cook family meals, washing clothes by the river, collecting grass to feed chickens, and taking his younger brother.
Before getting married, most of the salary was sent back to the family, and he dutifully served as half of his younger brother's parents.
It is rare to make the right decision, because I came to Shanghai to break through and did not listen to the advice of my parents.
From 2007 to 2024, in the full fifteen years, I have experienced from a monthly salary of 2,000 to 20,000 yuan, from spending the night on a park bench to buying a house by myself, from a full-time mother to freelancing, and from marriage and divorce to a stable and harmonious intimate relationship.
Not inspirational, not amazing, but always trying.
I very much agree with the sentence in "Grassroots Women": Please keep updating yourself, actively save yourself, and get out of the grassroots.
All the children of low-level families in the world, if they want to change their fate, they must climb up like crazy!
1. The girl at the bottom "turned over" and started from mentally drawing a line with her parents.
While your parents are in good health, go and live a good life first.
The reality of this society is that many jobs are set up for young people. When I was in my twenties, my boss thought we were cheap, obedient, and good, and it was easy to get a job.
In middle age, a position that can still maintain a salary and upward movement must require excellent skills or experience.
So, once you have made money, invest in yourself first, buy yourself a few decent outfits, buy some books, sign up for a skill improvement class, etc.
Second, reduce mental strain.
Don't confront, don't complain, don't expect to change your parents, and don't force them to accept their ideas.
Strong, focused, determined, and on your own path.
2. Try not to develop in small cities.
The smaller the city, the more concentrated, intertwined, and intricate interpersonal relationships and power become.
It is too difficult for children from low-income families to live in the local area.
And the level of civilization and security in big cities, as well as the attitude of life that does not concern them, can provide girls with more space to be themselves.
Here, it's okay for girls to wear fancy clothes, it's okay not to get married, it's okay to fight for a career, and it's okay to do a man's job.
In case something happens, 110 minutes will be on the scene.
The point is that as long as you dare to fight and think and endure hardships, relatively speaking, it still provides a lot of opportunities for choice and room for improvement.
You can also get to know and see a more diverse, open and free way of life.
3. Insist on reading and reading classic texts.
Life is endless, learning is endless.
In my opinion, academic qualifications are just a stepping stone, which may affect the first and second jobs, but the next thing is to rely on the understanding of human nature, good communication skills and rich practical experience.
So, be sure to keep acquiring new knowledge.
The relaxation and high emotional intelligence that modern society advocates all come from having something in the head.
If you want to have, the most efficient and cheapest way is to read, stand on the shoulders of great people to see the world, and learn more about mastering a super IP.
As you become more familiar with your leaders and customers, your salary and income will increase.
Remember, there is a saying that any form of making money is a kind of realization of cognition. Remember.
4. Make good use of your spare time and cultivate a few more hobbies and interests.
The gap between people and people is widened in those hours after work.
As a girl, when your ability is not strong, you should take the lead in your image, actively learn to dress, make up, practice giving a speech on stage in front of the mirror, or write a diary to review your life.
In addition to these, you can also learn to cook, store, do crafts, draw, exercise, etc.
Cultivate a few more low-cost hobbies and interests for yourself, so that you can live a more fulfilling and colorful life, and at the same time, you can also accumulate a little energy for your side hustle.
After several friends around me gave birth to babies, they all relied on their hobbies to establish a second income.
In the past few years, everyone has been talking about side hustles and side hustles every day, either the main business and part-time orders, or the accumulation of years has unexpectedly achieved themselves.
5. Be clear about the words and opportunities that can trigger your negative emotions and eliminate them.
Whether it's working hard or engaging in interpersonal relationships, emotions are a big stumbling block for children at the bottom.
Originally, women are deeply affected by hormone levels, and because of external factors or stimuli, they can easily fall into internal friction, and their energy will really be much less.
Therefore, the girls at the bottom must be able to check and review the words and opportunities that will make them unhappy in an instant as soon as possible.
For example, being denied, things that were planned to be changed, the first three days of the Great Aunt.
When you are aware of the rules, you can better remind yourself and do a good job of psychological construction for yourself.
Tell myself over and over again, this is only temporary, it doesn't matter, what my main quest is.
For those situations that are very sensitive and easy to overcome, you can even choose to dodge.
To put it simply, it's about not moving, doing less, staying in a safe environment, and avoiding worse outcomes due to emotions.
6. Imitation + practice + attire is a necessary skill for walking in the workplace.
The workplace is the dojo of every adult.
Due to the lack of guidance and care, children at the bottom must learn to observe the people around them carefully.
Especially my direct supervisor, I understand the general content of her work, the way she talks about PPT, the skills of assigning tasks to her subordinates, and the state when she gets along with her colleagues.
Then, communicate and chat with her generously, and at work, the more clear you are about what the leader wants you to do, and the degree of achievement is more important than how much progress is more important than doing things.
Outside of work, all of her skills and experience may be incorporated into your new role.
Remember, don't spend too much time on emotions, just part-time work, our goal is to make money, make more money.
Since they are all sitting in the unit, they must make good use of those time to increase their various abilities, what they need for their current work, what they need for their future work, and what they want to master but can't.
Being an employee who can be used by leaders is the first step to promotion and accumulating interpersonal relationships in the workplace.
In the unit, ability is the biggest dependence, upward management and interpersonal communication are just icing on the cake.
Also, don't be too kind, don't be too a virgin, fight when you should fight, and be tough when you should be tough.
Humility, backbone, more things are better than less things, these are all good qualities, but in social competition, interests are the core.
Sometimes, we also have to learn to beautify ourselves, express ourselves, report beyond the level, and take up the law to protect ourselves.
7. Learn to consume with high sex price, and learn to hedge emotional consumption with hobbies that can make money in the future.
After I went out into society, I always had very few friends.
Frankly, I don't have that much to spend on social courtesy.
Therefore, when I am in a bad mood, I choose to spend time watching old movies alone, choosing to write a diary and flip through books.
Instead, go shopping, browse the web, eat and drink with friends.
In addition, regarding consumption, I have suffered many losses and fallen into many pitfalls.
The deepest insight is to understand yourself, know your appropriate style, dress length, skirt type, and shoe height.
And try to choose products with high performance and price.
Instead of pursuing brands and buying cheap goods, it is a more practical, durable, and versatile design.
Finally, be wary of the "small money" that is easy to flow away, small jewelry for a few dollars in the night market, milk tea, 99. Free shipping, but it doesn't take a few times.
Although it is not expensive, it can empty your wallet when you scatter your hands.
Anyway, spending money, like making money, is the most important skill for children from low-income families to learn.
Look more, review more, summarize more, and then precipitate your own set of "formulas".
Practice all year round and control yourself.
8. Figure out the nature of love, marriage and childbearing as soon as possible.
The biggest misfortune of a woman is that she was originally full of strength, but she chose to take a "simple" and "conservative" path.
At the age of 38, I suggest that everyone must clear even the little thoughts that remain in their minds: "I can still rely on men" and "raising children well is my biggest career in this life".
If the girls at the bottom want to live that kind of dignified and physically and mentally free life, the only support is themselves.
Please don't take advantage of women's gender advantages and reproductive value to enter marriage early in order to escape the hardships of life and escape from the original family.
Instead, take advantage of your youth to fall in love a few more times, practice your ability to build intimacy with others, and know what kind of person you are more suitable for.
It's good to pay attention to the wide in and strict out, what does it mean, that is, don't have a habit of cleanliness when you first come into contact, and if you don't have a detail, you will deny people, and don't think you want to be with this man.
Get along like an ordinary friend, observe more and understand more, and really see that he has a noble character, self-discipline, and integrity, and then decides to call him his boyfriend.
Also, when you meet an excellent boy, don't be awkward, take the initiative, create more opportunities to get along with him, and express your opinions and feelings more.
If you always choose a husband among the men who chase you, you will miss a lot of opportunities to find a suitable life partner.
Frankly speaking, I used to make it a career after my job stabilized.
Participate in offline reading clubs, AA activities organized by travel friend groups, do not refuse every introduction blind date by people around you, and earnestly learn the skills of getting along with the sexes.
Only by constantly expanding the scope of choice and contacting more people can we meet better objects.
Regarding marriage, before entering into marriage, figure yourself out to the end.
Figure what. It's the theory we talked about last time, what advantage do you have in exchange for which good card the opponent gets.
Secondly, after getting married, you don't have to take care of your family and dedicate yourself to it like traditional women in the past.
It's about setting aside some space for yourself, keeping growing, being kind to yourself, and nourishing yourself.
Establish a housework mechanism for two people to share with each other as early as possible, so as to improve the ability to resist life risks.
When it comes to childbearing, we must be cautious.
Raising a child is a commitment of at least 20 years, and it needs to be shared by both husband and wife.
Please do not get pregnant impulsively because of instinct, social evaluation, the wishes of your husband, or the birth of relatives.
Make sure that you are physically and mentally ready for the arrival of a new life, have a certain economic foundation, and have enough understanding and tacit understanding with your partner before giving birth.
Especially for the second child, don't be blind.
Personally, I think that a girl's greatest self-discipline is not to have children casually.
As the bottom, we have the obligation to take care of the growth of a life and give her enough love and warmth to avoid unfortunate intergenerational inheritance.
At the same time, we should ensure that we still have the energy to complete our lives, instead of complaining that our children have delayed our freedom and development when we encounter difficulties in life, frustration, and marital crises.
9. Settle down and continue to deepen a skill or career.
Life is like dumplings, the years are the skin, and the experience is the filling.
Children from low-income families may take many detours, endure more hardships, and encounter more difficulties, but all the past is passing by.
One day, flowers will bloom, wine will be brewed, and poems will be written.
So, don't be discouraged.
I've met a lot of people who always say that they are in their thirties and still have nothing to do, good at failing.
Dearly, with the continuous improvement of medical technology, the life span of human beings will be longer and longer.
We still have more than half of our lives to go, and all the frustrations and mediocrities in front of us are just time to find a way, just practice.
Please believe that your tomorrow will be better like a superstitious one.
In fact, when all the unrealistic illusions in my mind are broken, and after many attempts and cognitive reconstruction, we can indeed find a relatively more comfortable direction.
At that time, it is good to settle down and go deeper.
Adjust the mentality to the most peaceful state, and systematically plan and have a daily task list to learn and implement.
Have the spirit of delayed gratification, do not rush to achieve, do not pursue perfection, work steadily, and use practical actions to pave the way for the future.
Remember, life is a journey that cannot be reversed, the past is carried by the wind, live in the present, live in today.
Reconcile with yourself and shake hands with the future.
What about being born at the bottom? What about the first half of my life?
This era has given us more choices and possibilities, as long as we are willing to climb up like crazy.
Break yourself, start from scratch, improve yourself, and when you reach middle age, you can still win a place in society.
May every ordinary person, except when consuming, forget that he is a poor person.
Self-esteem and self-love, do not take advantage of anyone, and live nobly on this planet.
I hope that everyone will learn to manage their expectations, learn to break down goals, and stick to action.
Keep doing things, doing things, doing things, achieve breakthrough growth as soon as possible, and live the life you want!