The shocking "snake trap phenomenon" People who have enemies with their brothers and sisters will not have a good life
In the work "Invisibility Cloak" by writer Yang Jiang, she depicts a thought-provoking phenomenon in profound words.
In Anglo-American culture, society is likened to a snake trap. The trap was crowded with snakes, desperately sticking out their heads, trying to squeeze more space out of the other snakes and compete for supremacy.
Some snakes have just emerged from the trap, but they are squeezed by their own kind next to them, and eventually their bodies sink and twist into a ball, and they cannot get out of it despite all their might.
This is known as the "snake trap phenomenon".
There is a proverb that says it well: "A serpent does not know that it is poisonous, and a man does not know that he is wrong." ”
Animals do not read and learn etiquette, but can only act on instinct; It is quite incomprehensible that human beings know etiquette, but often overindulge their nature.
As brothers and sisters, if you can't avoid falling into the "snake trap phenomenon", attacking each other, and even hoping that the other party will sink for the rest of your life, the final outcome will only be a lose-lose situation.
It can be seen that it is difficult for people who have enmity with their brothers and sisters to live happily in this life.
All actions towards siblings will eventually be reflected in oneself.
In the experience shared by a netizen "ffflower" in Zhihu, he and his brother have been in a hostile state in the countryside and have experienced many fights.
The elder brother is tall and likes to cause trouble, while netizens have always been at a disadvantage. In the quarrel between the brothers, netizens were forced to rush and took ** and reckless behavior, such as throwing sand and stones.
One night, the two brothers quarreled again, and the netizen picked up a stone, estimated the direction and speed of his brother's running, threw it, and accidentally hit the corner of his brother's mouth.
The father was very angry when he learned about it, and if it wasn't for the mother who pulled away the netizens in time, the situation might have deteriorated further.
Many years later, recalling this past, netizens had palpitations: "If I had thrown a stone up and hit my brother's eye or temple at that time, I might have to stay by my brother's side and take care of him for the rest of my life." ”
Yes, everyone is responsible for what they do, and there can be no exception just because the victim is a brother or sister.
Parents who are harsh on their children may lead to their children being reluctant to support their parents and even needing legal intervention.
The hurt between siblings is like a relationship between "action and reaction", no matter how vicious you are, the other person will respond in the same way. Fighting poison with poison is undoubtedly a vicious circle.
Worst of all, in an argument with an outsider, you can choose to leave. But quarrels with siblings, due to blood relations, are difficult to get out of easily, and may involve a lifetime.
If you count your possessions, your siblings may become extremely stingy and unwilling to help you.
If you covet your parents' possessions, everyone will be wary of you, and they may also put the responsibility of providing for the elderly on you.
If you hurt someone with bad words, everyone will be indignant and have no good feelings for you.
If you give up on your family, then you will be a lonely person.
Hatred between siblings not only destroys family harmony, but can also lead to the corruption of family morals.
There is a Turkish proverb that says, "To live in a family without harmony is to live in hell." ”
When we feel disgusted with our family and think that we seem to have been born in the wrong child, we may want to reflect on what we have done to our family.
It is difficult for a discordant family to expect great personal achievement.
There is an idiom called "eat on the same plate".
If siblings can have dinner together at the same table, reach a consensus, and work together, then everyone can benefit from the big family, and vice versa, it can lead to the disintegration of the family.
We have a habit of being thin with our family members and more friendly to outsiders. It is this habit that allows outsiders to take advantage of it. As the proverb goes, "The sandpiper and the clam fight, and the fisherman wins." ”
A writer in the Ming Dynasty wrote a family story about three brothers, Lü Da and Lü.
Second, Lu Zhen. Lu Da's son was lost, and he chose to make a living in business and searched everywhere for his son's whereabouts.
Lu Er was keen on gambling, and every time he lost money, he sold Lu Da's wife to outsiders in exchange for silver.
According to the ancient family rules, when Lu Da was not at home, Lu Er became the head of the family, so the brother and sister-in-law could only obey.
However, when Lu Er succeeded, Lu Zhen found Lu Da in time and brought him home. Seeing this, Lu Er immediately slipped away, and outsiders took the opportunity to take Lu Er's wife away.
This unjustified disaster happened in the Lu family, but no one expressed sympathy, and outsiders just watched coldly from the sidelines.
Think about it, once the family breaks down, what hope does the individual have for a prosperous future?
Even if an individual earns some money, but loses his family, he will still be alone.
For families with a bad family culture, it can be extremely difficult for siblings to find a partner and seek development.
It is wisest for a wise person to know how to treat his siblings differently.
You may ask, how should you treat your siblings? The key is to get the scale right.
We can't treat everyone as intimate relatives and blindly support them; Nor can we treat everyone as an enemy and keep retaliating.
In "Yu Ion", Liu Bowen tells a philosophical story.
In the state of Chu, some people decided to exterminate the snake and scorpion when they saw it; Others, however, choose to protect snakes and scorpions from causing harm to those around them.
The question was asked, "Which of these two approaches is correct?" ”
Yu Ion replied: "The importance of Mrs. and things is very different. ”
It is right to eradicate the extremely vicious and harmful snake and scorpion; And those snakes and scorpions that live in the deep mountains and old forests and are harmless to people should be treated leniently.
In the process of being a human being, we must know how to distinguish between good and evil, which is the way to embody human benevolence and righteousness.
To get back to the point, we should be discerning about hatred between brothers and sisters.
For those brothers and sisters who have acted excessively, or even involved in breaking the law and committing crimes, we should take the action of "righteous annihilation" to maintain social justice. Such a decision will be recognized by society.
And for those brothers and sisters who make minor mistakes, we should be full of tolerance and use love to influence, which is the cherishing of blood and reflecting a broad mind. In the same way, such an attitude will win the praise of society.
Specifically, we don't have to worry too much about the exchange of gifts between siblings; The partiality of parents should be treated indifferently and prove their worth through their own struggles; When our brothers and sisters are in trouble, we should lend a helping hand, but we should also avoid doing everything to prevent revenge.
A good sibling relationship is like a rising tide, helping and supporting each other, and working together to make everyone benefit and make life better.
However, if the relationship is bad and everyone is calculating and there is no bottom line, then it is necessary to quickly break away from the relationship and bravely embark on a new journey alone, putting the small family first.
If you want to live a happy life, you must learn to manage and promote relationships, and you can't just focus on money and ignore the importance of relationships.
Hatred is short-lived, but touching can accompany you for a lifetime.
Giving may be a disadvantage, but giving is the key to prosperity.