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What kind of life would you live if you were admitted to a nursing home in your later years?
On December 14, 2023, Phoenix.com released an interview ** - The Old People in Nursing Homes.
The reason for the interview at this point in time is because the holiday is coming soon.
The people in the program team asked many old people, where do they plan to go for the New Year?
This is a mid-to-high-end nursing home, in which the elderly, almost all have children and daughters, and the jobs when they are young are very decent, and there are no financial difficulties.
The people in the program team thought they would get a variety of answers.
But surprisingly, the answers they got were somewhat surprisingly consistent.
How to live at home, how to live here, why bother them when you go back. ”
There is no elderly person who does not yearn for family fun, but this nursing home seems to be an exception.
Jingya Nursing Home is a nursing home located in Nankai District, Tianjin.
Nankai District is one of the central districts of Tianjin, and the streets are noisy and lively for most of the day.
And this kind of excitement can't reach this building.
As soon as it was dawn, many old people got up one by one.
They are all people who have worked all their lives, and there is no exercise that consumes energy and strength every day, and they have no problems with lying in bed.
The kitchen of the nursing home had a fire long ago.
Because almost all of the old people have some big and small problems in their bodies.
Therefore, when preparing meals in the kitchen, it is generally light and healthy.
Dozens of old people sat together, but there was no sound.
Only the cart rollers for putting food and collecting utensils make a "gurgling" sound from time to time on the brick surface.
At the dinner table, some elderly people will eat a bunch of colorful pills with their meals.
Sometimes, the number of pills in their hands adds up to more than the rice in their bowls.
After breakfast, the old people who have nothing to do either chat with friends, or find some pastime games, such as chess to pass the time, or push walkers, walking around the 180-square-meter hall.
Of course, more of it, it's all by yourself, sitting silently in a daze.
In a daze in front of the window of the canteen, in a daze in his room, in a daze in front of the TV, and when the weather is good, sitting in a daze at the door of the nursing home.
Before Chen Zhuo became the director of Jingya Nursing Home, he sat here for a day.
He is a dynamic post-90s generation, after graduating from university, he worked with "clothing wholesale" for two years, although he made a lot of money, but it really made him physically and mentally exhausted.
It was also hard work, and he described his busy time in the nursing home as "a job that calms and tranquils oneself".
Before he officially took office, he was happy to spend a lot of time carefully observing these old people.
Chen Zhuo found that the old people in this nursing home were numb and negative, lifeless, and without any vitality.
It was as if here they were living for the sake of living, waiting for death to come, was their ultimate goal.
At the same time, Chen Zhuo also realized that compared to physical pain, the heart disease of the elderly is an important reason for this situation.
As the saying goes, heart disease still needs heart medicine, since the problem is spiritual, then the material supplement is useless.
Chen Zhuo opened an account on the short **app, and unknowingly picked up a bunch of props from **, picked up his mobile phone, and made a joke.
And the protagonists of the joke are these old people in the nursing home.
There is an annoying way of speaking - habitual rhetorical questions. ”
Let go of personal qualities and enjoy a life without virtue. ”
If you're young......Eat when you're hungry, rest when you're tired, and when you're old, you'll find that you've lived a life without regrets. ”
These jokes, which are all the rage on the Internet, come out of the mouths of a group of gray-haired old people, which makes people feel absurd through time and space.
In all fairness, the acting skills of these old people are very average, and can even be said to be "very poor".
Their average age is more than 75 years old, and "Teacher Yu", who is the protagonist, is 90 years old, and his speech is naturally not as clever as that of young people.
has not received systematic training, so it is natural that there is no acting skills when filming the plot.
But it is this way of jumping out word by word, like a primary school student reading a text, that surprisingly makes the audience feel that "they are convincing people with reason".
Network map Chen Zhuo named this short ** account "Yidu Nursing Home".
In just over half a year, the number of fans of the nursing home has reached nearly one million.
But as the operator of the account, Chen Zhuo's biggest difficulty is not how to increase fans, but how to let more elderly people participate in this excitement.
Jingya Nursing Home has been open for 8 years and now has more than 70 elderly people living here.
But looking at Chen Zhuo's **, there were only two old men who appeared at the beginning.
He didn't care about it, and in the interview, he also confessed:
Not all the old people we participated in the shooting, some old people may be ashamed to express, maybe they dare not face the camera, but the process of his ** is also an experience of participation. ”
In October 2023, this special group of Internet celebrities suddenly came out of the circle, and then accepted exclusive interviews one after another.
Network diagramis a more professional lens, but the story behind the camera.
Compared with the sunny surface on the surface, the cloudy side behind the old man obviously makes people more curious.
As the camera turns, unexpected stories gradually emerge in front of everyone's eyes.
How did the family talk to you about the time (of coming to the nursing home)? ”
Didn't negotiate, (they said) can I send you to a nursing home? I said no problem. ”
90-year-old Yu Fangyou is the only one among dozens of elderly people who took the initiative to come to the nursing home with their children.
When she was younger, she was a chemistry teacher at Yew Wah Secondary School in Tianjin.
Because of her excellent teaching performance, after Ms. Yu retired, the school repeatedly proposed to rehire her.
However, these requests were all denied.
The reason for refusal is: I should do whatever I should do at any age, and I will not compete with young people.
After retiring, Mr. Yu also had a good time.
Lovers are by the side, children are filial, grandchildren are around the knees, and the pension is considerable, a person's best old age is nothing more than that.
However, as she got older, things gradually became uncontrollable.
It is said that it is uncontrollable, but in fact, it is also a predictable scenario.
At the age of 70, Mr. Yu's husband died of pancreatic cancer.
Subsequently, the "death" she faced slowly increased.
Teachers and colleagues who used to work in a group, friends and relatives who had eaten, drank, and had fun together, and even the elderly people she met after staying in a nursing home taught her to play mahjong and walked ahead of her.
The old body is no longer healthy, and it hurts either this or that on weekdays.
The children also have grandchildren, and they are not young, so there are often conflicts at home.
After her husband died, she lived with her daughter, and the pain in her body made her always unable to help but complain to her daughter.
And the complaints day after day made my daughter gradually impatient:
You always say it hurts, you're 90 years old, and we're still in pain. ”
When mentioned the reason for coming to the nursing home, she only said that "two generations should not live together." ”
However, it can be seen from the interview that she is a little disappointed in her family and children.
86-year-old Liu Guoxia has been in the nursing home for two years.
When Grandma Liu was young, she was a textile worker.
The benefits of the unit are good, she was given a house when she was young, and her salary after retirement is 4500, which is enough for her to live a happy old age.
She is a strong person, when her children were young, her husband was not at home all the year round, and all the work at home was done by her.
worked hard to bring up her children, and thought she could enjoy happiness, but in her later years, it was her children who gave her a head-on blow.
Because of the division of the house, there was a quarrel between her and her daughter-in-law.
Network map: Liu Guoxia still remembers one thing clearly.
She cooked dumplings and let her daughter-in-law taste the saltiness, and after the daughter-in-law bit half of it, she smashed the other half to the ground, and at that time, she stood in the kitchen without saying a word.
How can an 80-year-old man withstand such a blow, such a living atmosphere is no longer suitable for her at all.
So, at the age of 84, Grandma Liu was sent to a nursing home by her daughter.
A series of blows made Liu Guoxia difficult to accept, and she even had a tendency to be depressed when she just entered the nursing home.
Speaking of the past, the loss and sadness that she couldn't hide came out through the lens:
After fighting for a lifetime, you said that when you were young, you were angry with your mother-in-law, and when you were old, you were angry with your daughter-in-law. ”
62-year-old Wang Li may be the youngest member of Jingya Nursing Home.
And his situation is also the most complicated of all.
Moving forward 20 years, Wang Li may not be able to imagine that he will fall to the point where he is today.
The young Wang Liyi is bold and bold, and he travels south and north to do business all year round.
He is bold and generous, and he has a smooth career and has naturally accumulated a lot of net worth.
But 17 years ago, something happened suddenly.
He was just 46 years old and had a sudden cerebral infarction, although he was treated in time, but he also fell into a hemiplegia.
Later, after his mother died, his wife divorced him, and his son sent him to a nursing home.
In Wang Li's view, living in a nursing home is a last resort.
No one wants to come to a nursing home, and 9 out of 10 elderly people in nursing homes are depressed. ”
But for some reason, in the end, he took the initiative to propose to his son: "Or, find a nursing home." ”
60 years old is by no means an old age in modern society.
Wang Li, who has lost everything, when he first came to the nursing home, his favorite thing was to smoke, and sometimes, he could smoke 4 boxes a day.
He keeps saying that "the elderly are most afraid of loneliness", and he is also the one who has only returned home twice in 8 years.
According to the calculation of the National Bureau of Statistics, by the end of 2022, there were 40,000 elderly care institutions in the country, and the number of elderly care beds reached 82230,000 sheets.
In an aging society, this number will obviously increase positively.
In Chinese society, where "filial piety" is respected, letting the elderly live in nursing homes is a proof of the unfilial piety of children for a long time.
But why are they still increasing?
Or you can ask: What are the reasons why they should be chosen?
Actually, the reason is very simple.
Yu Fangyou's age, Liu Guoxia's contradictions, and Wang Li's injury.
For young people, even middle-aged people, who are struggling for life, this is a burden.
But is it unfilial piety to send parents to a nursing home?
Take Jingya Nursing Home as an example, from the mouths of the elderly, it can be seen that the single room here costs about 4,000-5,000 yuan per month.
This price can be said to be very expensive.
However, in terms of facilities and services, it can be regarded as a mid-range nursing home at best.
There are more high-end and better nursing homes on the market, and it is very common to have tens of thousands of yuan per month, and even hundreds of thousands of yuan abound.
People are profit-seeking creatures, and children are really not filial to the example, and there are not tens of thousands of them on the social news on the Internet.
For children and the elderly, living in a nursing home and having a special person to manage it is the most suitable choice at the moment.
But don't forget, the elderly are also human beings, and parents are older and need more care.
In fact, the elderly are open-minded.
The ups and downs of life were thoroughly eaten by them, and the life and death of a lifetime made them numb, so in their later years, they no longer yearn for the future, but look forward to death.
If a person is not even afraid of death, then can he not be open-minded.
But man is man, and the biggest difference between man and animal is that man has a higher level of intelligence and consciousness.
It is precisely because they have eaten through the ups and downs and seen all the life and death that the old man is more afraid of loneliness.
-end-
Author: Again, and double.
Editor: Ichiyigi.