Recently, a friend came to me to confide in a trouble, I used to play very well with a friend, both sides told each other everything, and even some of the things in my heart that I didn't want to show were also scooped up.
And now because of some things, the relationship between the two is not as close as before, and he also heard a rumor about himself from other friends, and this is what he said when the two were close to each other before.
The friend sighed and said: I knew to keep my mouth shut, and sure enough, it was not a secret that everything passed one person's ear.
I deeply understand and sympathize with my friend's plight.
Sometimes when we interact with people, it is easy to think that exchanging secrets with each other will deepen the emotional intimacy of both parties, so we unconsciously talk too much.
The desire to confide is a natural emotion, but sometimes excessive confiding can cause distress or discomfort to others. Therefore, at all times, you must control your desire to talk.
Because,When the relationship breaks down in the future, you don't know if the person who is close to you at the moment and has all your privacy in control will one day become a knife to the deepest part of you
You don't have to tell people all about your own thoughts, keep a little secret of your own, and you will have a sense of mystery.
After all, there is no such thing as complete empathy.
If you always tell others everything, you may leak some unnecessary personal information and even leave others with an immature impression.
Especially in the workplace, you don't have to say everythingYou don't have to do it.
In "The Legend of Zhen Huan", Zhen Huan pretended to be sick to avoid favor when she first entered the palace, and never told her good sister Meizhuang. Even when Zhen Huan and the emperor designed Concubine Hua and pretended to be sent to Penglaizhou, they didn't tell Meizhuang the truth about the matter.
Only let Meizhuang believe in himself. Not to mention everything else.
Liu Zhu also asked Zhen Huan strangely: The little master is so good with Hui Guiren, and he doesn't make it clear to her?
Liuzhu means, you are so good, these things have happened to you, Meizhuang is worried about you, do you want to secretly tell Meizhuang so that she is not in a hurry?
Zhen Huan said: It's because it's good, so I can't tell it.
What this means is: it not only protects her, but if she fails one day, she will not be implicated in the unknowing, and at the same time, it is also to protect herself.
Because the reason why a secret is a secret is that it cannot be known to a third person, otherwise, the matter will fail.
As the old saying goes:It's a matter of secrecy。That's what it means.
In some cases, excessive outpouring can be tiring or unwilling.
I have a friend who complains about her other half and her mother-in-law every time they meet, and it's the same incident every time. At first, I was puzzled and asked her why she didn't sit down with her other half and communicate well.
The other party said: I said ......But it's useless, my husband doesn't want to, it's annoying.
And then continue to complain to me about ......Crowd.
Okay, I see, I thought she wanted to solve the problem, it turned out that I wanted to make a trash can and couldn't have an opinion.
Later, when she came to me again, I didn't want to see me too much.
Because, Xianglin's sister-in-law's confiding will also make the listener very tired. Listening is also a lot of energy for a person.
The person confiding in you poured some negative energy into you, and you can recall that you must have been unhappy at the moment. Over time, you need to have a very strong energy to transform it, otherwise you will be unknowingly affected and have low energy.
Why should you control your desire to talk? Because it's an important self-management and emotion regulation ability:
Increase efficiency: If we confide casually, we may spend too much time and energy on unimportant things, which can affect our productivity and quality of life.
Maintain relationships: Sometimes we may confide in inappropriate situations, or gullible others to say inappropriate things without knowing the truth. This can affect our relationships and reputation.
Protect your privacy: If we confide in us unfiltered, we may leak our own private and confidential information, which can cause unnecessary trouble and harm.
Avoid spreading negative energy: If we always confide in others about negative emotions and complaints, this can affect the mood and mindset of others, and we ourselves can get stuck in negative emotions and can't help ourselves.
Enhance self-controlBy controlling our desire to talk, we can improve our emotional regulation and self-control, which can help us take more control of our lives and work in other areas.
So, although confiding is a way to release emotions and seek support, we also need to control our desire to confide moderately and sensibly to better protect our interests and relationships.
February** Dynamic Incentive Program