"How much goodness in the world has been let down? ”
Defeated by 'I thought'. ”
Treat people sincerely, but you may not get true intentions; Treating others with kindness may not necessarily be grateful; Patience may not be consummated. The reality is cruel, kindness is too easy to consume, and generosity is too easy to hurt. In middle age, be kind to yourself and be temperate and kind.
There is no bottom line of kindness, in exchange for only revenge
Mo Yan shared a story about the Mid-Autumn Festival at the Nobel Prize ceremony. That day, there was only enough room for each person in the family to eat a bowl of dumplings, but an old beggar came knocking on the door. Mo Yan gave him half a bowl of dried sweet potatoes, but the old man angrily accused them. Seeing this, her mother gave her dumplings to the old man, and Mo Yan calmed down her anger. This made him realize that some people will consume the kindness of others and not be grateful. He wrote in "The Late Bloomer": "Good people are late bloomers, and they are often ripened by bad people. This reminds us that the beginning of maturity is to recognize reality and not be victimized by excessive kindness.
Yu Minhong also shared an experience. He was robbed twice, and the cause was not known until six years later. It turns out that he once showed excessive kindness to a resort owner, who plotted a robbery because he was rich and easy to bully. This made him understand that excessive kindness can lead to disaster. Kindness is cultivation, but losing the bottom line will attract revenge. Don't spoil unappreciative people, don't feed ungrateful hearts.
Unprincipled forbearance, in exchange for only inches
Mr. Yang Jiang once said that in the world, life often suffers. If you choose to be an honest person who has no quarrel with the world, you will often be used and bullied by others; If you have a little talent or good looks, you are likely to attract jealousy and exclusion. If you give in generously, others will often gain an inch and infringe on your rights. In "The World", Zhou Bingkun is a typical example, he pays silently and does his best to his family and friends, but his kindness and dedication are not reciprocated, but he is often blamed and incomprehensible. He helps Xiao Guoqing's family, but ends up resentful for wanting to take back his house. His kindness and selflessness have instead become an excuse for others to gain inches. This makes us understand that we can't be a man without temper and without complaints, otherwise it will only make others more unscrupulous. Wang Xiaobo once said that people have two major obligations to live in the world: one is to be a good person and be worthy of life; The second is not to get used to other people's stinky faults. Therefore, we should learn to stick to our principles, no longer be soft-hearted when it is time to refuse, and no longer back down when the bottom line is touched. Only in this way can we protect ourselves from being a weakness that others take advantage of.
Endless forgiveness, in exchange for only repeated hurt
Confucius said: "How can we repay virtue if we repay our grievances with virtue?" Repay virtue with virtue and repay grievances with straightforwardness. I was struck by that. As I get older, I come to understand that excessive kindness is often misinterpreted as weakness, which leads to more harm.
There was once an introverted girl who always silently endured unwarranted accusations and slander in the class. She responded with a smile every time: "It's okay. However, this tolerance has not been exchanged for the kindness of others, but has emboldened them. Her experience has taught me that not all hurts are forgivable, and not all "I'm sorry" is worth responding to "it's okay."
Zhang Shaohan once said: "Damage is injury, and without these injuries, I will become stronger." "I think so. Harm is not a necessary condition for growth, but a reminder not to be like the perpetrator. For hurt, we should not forgive endlessly, but stop losses in time to protect ourselves.
Therefore, I never regret choosing kindness, but I know more about when and where I need to stick to my bottom line. Kindness is not unconditional tolerance, but principled tolerance. When I encounter harm, I will choose to "repay my grievances directly", not only to protect myself, but also to uphold the value of kindness.
I didn't choose to give up kindness, I just learned to be different. On the stage of life, the best state is to remain kind but not disproportionate, and to give in to a certain degree but not lose principle. When one's own ability is not enough to help others, one does not have to force one's conscience; When there is no way back, let go of excessive generosity; When kindness does not get the response it deserves, you should know how to restrain your kindness. In the days to come, may we all stick to our bottom line with a kind attitude, with the edge of wisdom, and a benevolent heart, and dance in harmony with the world.