During the annual Spring Festival, those migrant workers who are busy in first-tier cities on weekdays are like migratory birds that have finished their migration, and have returned to their hometowns to reunite with their families and live a leisurely and comfortable holiday life.
However, the family relationship of gathering less and leaving more is also mixed with a lot of unavoidable troubles-Parents and relatives are urging marriage and birth as always.
If you're like this, if you don't get married, no one really wants it! ”
When are we old, when will we be able to hold our grandchildren? ”
All kinds of nagging penetrate into the ears. Occasionally go out shopping, and "chance" meet old classmates who have just returned from other places. Surprisingly,After graduation, they returned to their hometown to work, not only got married early and had children, but also had children and grandchildren around their knees, full of joy.
How did they solve the major life events so easily, I worked overtime every day, and I couldn't even find a partner? Seeing the old classmates proudly showing the children's ** in the mobile phone one by one, a trace of doubt rose in my heart.
The gears of fate, from the day of graduation, have been turning silently, leading you and me in different directions. When you are full of ideals and are admitted to the graduate school of your choice and ready to continue your studies, your old classmates have long been unable to hold back their desire to settle down, give up their academic yearning, and resolutely decide to return to their hometown to work.
You have different ways and do not conspire with each other, but you do not know that the difference in education level will directly affect the age of your first marriage. The data shows that for every 1 year of education, the age of first marriage is delayed by an average of 011 years. This phenomenon is especially pronounced in women.
So in the big matter of starting a family, your old classmates have taken a big step ahead of you.
When you are immersed in the details of research life, the old classmates who have returned home after graduation have already tied the knot. When you finally get your master's degree, you hesitate and decide to stay in the big city to work and live, and the gap between the two is widened a bit.
Studies have shown that the size of the city is also one of the key factors in determining the age of first marriage. As the city level increases, the average age of first marriage increases by 0In 635, this "postponement effect" continued to grow.
In addition, the experience of migrating to work in other places can have a significant impact on the decision to get married.
Statistics show that the wider the time and scope of migration, the greater the impact on postponing marriage.
Mainly embodied in:Three aspectsFirst, women working in big cities are more likely to marry later due to the higher income of urban agglomeration. Second, the better conditions of equal pay for equal work in large cities have narrowed the income gap between the sexes, weakened men's economic advantages, and delayed men's motivation to get married. Finally, the concept of open marriage and love in big cities emphasizes the realization of personal values and does not value early marriage, and these factors are superimposed, and you are already falling behind before you know it.
When an old classmate buys a home in his hometown and gets married with the help of his parents, you and your family may still be worried about the down payment. What's more, if you are alone in an unfamiliar big city and have no friends or relatives to match, the probability of successfully getting off the list is obviously much lower.
In this way, when you are still having a headache to find your other half, your old classmates have already tied the knotI even started a second birth plan.
So the question is, why do people who return to their hometowns not only marry and have children earlier, but also have an advantage in childbearing?
Statistics,For every 1 year when the first marriage is delayed, the willingness to have children decreases by 054%。In addition, migrating to big cities for work will also weaken people's desire to have children to varying degrees, and the ideal number of children is often less than that of residents in small cities.
The survey found that the average ideal fertility of women of childbearing age in the first-tier city of Hefei was 213 children, and the figure of the fourth-tier town of Susong is as high as 248;Not only that, but in terms of the actual number of children born, small cities also beat large cities.
This is not only because migration inhibits the desire to have children, but more importantly – there is a world of difference in the environment in which they are raised.
A new study notes that the more migrations, the lower the likelihood of fertility being fulfilled. Compared with my hometown, the pressure of life and the cost of childcare in big cities are much higher. Presumably every young person struggling in a first-tier city has felt this, high housing prices and long overtime work have made them financially constrained, and they can't afford to raise a baby.
And small cities are undoubtedly fertile ground for new life. First of all, the cost of living is low and the nurturing environment is generous; More importantly, retired seniors can act as free nannies to help meet the endless needs of their children, effectively alleviating the pressure of parenting.
So, when the middle-aged couple in the city is still having a headache about how to make the elderly adapt to city life, your old classmate has an extra little angel carved in the house.
In addition, your old classmates also have an advantage in the social environment that promotes early marriage and childbearing.
In this land where we live, marriage and childbirth are regarded as a kind of "compulsory course" in life, and parents not only have the right, but even the obligation to intervene in the marriage of their children.
"There are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is greater. This folk proverb is always a reminder of the responsibility on the shoulders of every adult.
So, while you can play missing, turn off WeChat and **dodge the marriage urging at home**, your old classmates don't have this opportunity - they have to face layers of "bombardment" from relatives and neighbors every day.
In small places with well-developed relationship networks, your marital status also means social status and the right to speak. So, in order to get out of the embarrassing situation of being alone, your old classmates will often quickly give in and get married in a flash.
Of course, there are no ifs in life. The magpie's nest dove occupies the life of early marriage and childbirth, and it will not be as good as the elders described. With the penetration of modern values, parents' expectations and investment in the next generation are increasing, and the pressure of family life is also rising.
What's more, there are also many contradictions hidden in intergenerational upbringing. The older generation complains that their children are unfilial and only know how to pamper their grandchildren; Young people criticize the outdated methods of educating the elderly.
More seriously, the emergence of a second child can also lead to psychological and behavioral problems in firstborn children. Driven by feelings of jealousy and loss, firstborn children are likely to have negative behaviors such as anxiety and aggression, and conflicts between siblings will also increase significantly.
Think of the endless family annoyances of old classmates, for youThe pain of urging marriage during the annual Spring Festival may not be so unbearable.
Childbearing age