Chapter 5 Arouse the Giant in Your Heart
Original Anthony Robin.
About the book. Anthony Robin is a leader second to none in the psychology of success and staying at the top. Evoking the Giant Within will give you more than just everything you need to succeed, but Anthony's passion, motivation and commitment will inspire you to truly take control of every aspect of your life.
The One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard.
Evoke the Giant Inside is full of scientific principles and methods from beginning to end, and each page is filled with concise, actionable guidelines to focus your thoughts and emotions on what you want to achieve. Anthony Robin is a powerful communicator and a true authority on personal success.
Editor-in-Chief of Success Magazine: Scott Degamo.
Evoking the Giant Within is a must-read for everyone who wants to improve their quality of life. Anthony Robin ignites the passion of the reader's life with his enthusiasm and practical advice.
Every Woman Should Know Men's Secrets by Dr. Barbara de Angeles.
Anthony's book is published for everyone who wants to be successful on their own. Wanting to get perfect marks in all areas of life is a necessary mental quality for a successful genius to think about things from a new perspective; the ability to regain dreams; Bring courage and commitment to life.
Written by Happy Grown: Jim Hansberg.
How to change your habits.
Recognize habits. The dog family has produced a very ambitious and ambitious puppy, and it announces to the whole family that it is going to cross the desert, and all the dogs come to it to express their blessings. Amid the cheers, the puppy packed plenty of food and water and hit the road. Three days later, the news of the puppy's unfortunate death suddenly came.
What caused this ideal puppy to die? Check the food, and there's a lot more; Not enough water? No, there is still water in the kettle. Later, after research, the secret of the puppy's death was finally discovered - the puppy was suffocated by urine.
The reason why they can be suffocated by urine is because dogs have a habit: they must pee next to the trunk of a tree. Since there were no trees and no telephone poles in the desert, the poor puppy was suffocated for 3 days and finally suffocated.
This is true for dogs, but what about people?
Dogs are creatures of habit, and likewise humans are creatures of habit, superior animals of habits.
A person's behavior and living habits are cultivated over many years. For example, the form of interacting with people, the way of communicating with people, the mode of getting along with people, etc., are all accumulated and slowly formed by years of habits. Confucius mentioned in the Analects: "Sex is similar, but Xi is far away." "If you are young and sexless, habit becomes natural. This means that human nature is very similar, but it is very different because of different habits; The character cultivated at an early age seems to be innate, and the habits that have been cultivated over a long period of time seem to come from completely nature.
As the saying goes, "Poverty is a habit, and being rich is also a habit; Failure is a habit, and success is also a habit. "If you value ideas and thinking, then you might feel a little bit about that.
Habits, also known as inertia, are the common laws of the universe and have an unstoppable force. "Winter is coming, will spring be far away? "This is an unstoppable force; The apple will inevitably fall down when it leaves the branch, and it is also an unstoppable force.
Without inertia, there is no power. For example, a stationary train can be prevented from sliding by simply placing a 1-inch thick piece of wood in front of each drive wheel. But if the train travels at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour, even a 5-foot-thick reinforced concrete wall cannot stop it, which shows how great the force of inertia is.
We can define "habit" as follows: "habit" is the "fixed response" of humans and animals to a certain stimulus, which is the result of repeated occurrences of the same occasions and responses. Therefore, if a person repeatedly practices washing his hands before eating, then this behavior will be integrated into his broader behavior and become a habit of "loving cleanliness".
Habit is a certain stimulus that appears repeatedly, and the individual responds to it in a fixed way, and over time forms a certain regular activity similar to a conditioned reflex. It includes both physical and psychological aspects, i.e., explicit activity that can be directly observed and measured, and indirectly inferred inner mental processes, i.e., conscious and subconscious processes. Moreover, psychological habits, i.e., mindsets, once formed, are more persistent and stable, and on a broader basis, become character traits.
Habit determines fate.
William James, a well-known American psychologist, said: "Sowing behavior, reaping habits; Sow habits, reap character; Sow character, reap destiny. "A good habit can make a person's life, and a bad habit can also bury a person's life.
Think about it, how can a person who loves to sleep lazily, has a lazy life and has no rules, how can he restrain himself from working hard? What kind of mind and insight can a person who does not like to read and does not care about the outside world have? How can a self-righteous person cooperate and communicate with others? How efficient will a person who is disorganized and thinking chaotic be when he gets things done? How much wisdom and judgment can a person who does not like to think independently and follow the crowd have?
Habits are the key to human life or failure. In fact, the biggest difference between winners and losers is that they have different habits. Good habits are actually good methods, ways of thinking, ways of doing things. To develop good habits is to find a way to succeed. And the more bad habits a person has, the farther away from success. Why do many successful people threaten to make a comeback soon, even if they fail now? Maybe it's because of the power of habit. A certain habit they develop forges their character, and character forges their success.
All the virtues of human beings must be turned into habits before they can be valuable, and even such an eternal theme as "love" must be turned into good habits through continuous cultivation before they can be turned into real actions.
It is one thing for us to "know" many good concepts and principles, but it is another thing to know whether we can "do" them. There must be a bridge in between, and this bridge is habit.
So how valuable is the habit? American scientists have found that it takes 21 days to form a habit. If this is the case, from the perspective of efficiency, habits should be the highest input-output ratio. Because once you develop a habit, it means that you will enjoy its benefits for the rest of your life.
As Anthony Robin said, "In fact, the greatest difference between success and failure comes from different habits." Good habits are the key to success, and bad habits are a door that opens to failure. ”
Develop good habits that will last a lifetime.
So, how do we develop good habits? There are two main points that we need to pay attention to: one is to rely on institutional constraints; Second, rely on your own efforts and determination.
In the early stage of forming good habits and eliminating bad habits, we must rely on the coercive effect of the system to restrain them.
The good habit of washing hands before meals and after using the toilet is not innate, and this habit is formed after countless coercion and correction by parents or others. Singapore is known as the "Garden City", and the self-discipline of its citizens is even more impressive! But did you know that at that time, these habits were cultivated and even coerced by the state apparatus such as the police and prisons? Therefore, "good habits come from compulsion" is an uncompromising truth.
The formation of good habits depends not only on the constraints of the system and the cultivation of education, but also on one's own determination and courage. Again, it comes down to culture. In a positive cultural atmosphere, you always sleep lazy, how can you bear it? In a culture of solidarity and cooperation, how do you stand on your feet? In a pioneering and innovative cultural atmosphere, you always tend to follow the trend, how to develop? Therefore, culture is a more powerful force of natural integration, beyond the coercive force of the system, beyond the habitual nostalgia, it is so powerful that it does not need to be emphasized or forced, it unconsciously affects everyone's psychology and spirit, and finally becomes a conscious group consciousness.
Of course, the formation of any kind of habit is not easy, and it must be in accordance with the principle of gradual progress, from shallow to deep, from near to far, from gradual change to mutation.
Change your bad habits.
Plato, the great philosopher of ancient Greece, admonished a wandering youth: "Man is a slave to habit, and once a habit is formed, it can never be changed." The young man replied, "What does it matter if you are acting on the spot?" The philosopher immediately said, "Otherwise, once a thing is tried, it will gradually become a habit, and it will not be a trivial matter!" This is indeed the truth.
The Italian poet Dante once said, "A raging flame begins with a spark." Lao Tzu Yiyun in the Tao Te Ching: "The nine-story platform starts from the soil; Great oaks from little acorns grow.. ”
The formation of habits is the process of turning from thin threads to thick threads and then to ropes through repeated repetition. Every time we repeat the same behavior, it increases and reinforces it, the rope becomes a rope, it becomes a chain, and eventually, it becomes a deep-seated habit that entangles our thoughts and actions.
Habits pervade our entire lives. What time of day to get up and go to bed is a habit; The posture of dressing and the preference of color are a habit; Even how we eat and how we do things is a matter of habit.
The English poet Laureate Dryden said more than 300 years ago: "First we make habits, and then habits make us." "The reason why we are where we are today is because of habits, and if we want to have a completely different life than before, we have to change dramatically. The only way to do this is to change your behavior to a completely different pattern, that is, to change a lot of your habits.
Dr. Charles Sherington, an expert in brain physiology, insists that "during learning, nerve cells move in a similar pattern to a tape recording." "Every time we remember a past experience, the pattern comes back to life. If you are accustomed to failure, you will be more comfortable with the habitual feeling of failure, and this feeling will leave an imprint on everything you do. In the same way, if you can build a model of success, you can inspire a sense of victory. In this sense, to change our habits is to change the direction of our destiny. We are creatures of habit. Psychologists believe that 95% of human behavior is driven by habits.
Bad habits are like a broken ship with too many holes, no matter how much you try, you can't stop it from sinking. So why not abandon the ship and get rid of bad habits as soon as possible? And the most effective way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit.
You must firmly believe that if you master good habits, you will master the destiny of success. So, from now on, we need to take action, and we have to make up our minds to break bad habits.
The behaviorist school of thought believes that bad habits are relatively fixed patterns of behavior formed by the repeated repetition of deviant behaviors. What exactly is the deviant behavior? It is reflected in what we commonly call "habits", that is, what are the bad habits? These bad habits vary according to scholars' perceptions. In terms of the nature of the behavior, it is manifested as inappropriate behavior, that is, behavior that is inconsistent with time, place and identity, causing damage or distress to one's own physical and mental health and development, hindering the life of others, and forming a conflict with the environment.
At the same time, behaviorists also believe that a person's deviant behavior, that is, "bad habits", is not because he has fallen into some evil, but only to use some charms to get rid of the demons attached to him; It's not that there is any pathogen that is causing trouble in him, and it can be solved by eating a pair of elixirs; It is not a symptom of psychological disorders later because of some unfortunate events that children have encountered in their early years. It arises depending on how the outside world reacts to the act. Even, behavioral scholars still emphasize that if the deviant behavior is praised or not repulsed, the behavior will be reinforced, and after repeated many times, it will become a habit. On the other hand, if the deviant behavior leads to a bad result or is futile, the behavior will be weakened, and after repeated many times, it will no longer appear and disappear from the individual's behavior. These are the applications of the so-called augmentation principle.
Individual behavior is not fixed in nature, but changes at any time due to physical and mental development and the influence of objective circumstances. Learning is recognized as one of the most important ways to change behavior, shape behavior, and form habits.
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From this we can determine that using the reinforcement principle, through some way of "learning", we can correct deviant behaviors and eliminate bad habits. Weakening, differentiating, isolating, and punishing are more effective ways to eliminate bad habits. As a side note, the more the correction and cultivation of habits start from a young age, the less resistance there is, and early childhood is the best period for behavior shaping, and at this time, the shaping of habits has become simple and easy because of the small resistance.
How to perfect your behavior.
Try to change your behavior.
Human behavior is not static, it can be improved by your own efforts. If you're upset about some of your behaviors, why not try to change them from now on?
Don't blame anyone or anything for your troubles. In fact, don't talk about your difficulties at all, let alone mention them before moving on to the next step. Any attempt to seek mercy and try to make yourself feel better at the time will really weaken your personal power, and in this way make you a pitiful worm or a victim.
Don't blame others for your choices. Don't quote other people's opinions. You suggest going to a certain restaurant, don't say it's highly recommended by others, and take responsibility for your own ideas. Citeting someone else's opinion usually doesn't do you any damage, but if you have a weak sense of self, then it can make the situation worse. So, don't quote other people's opinions for a few weeks and see if this method of amplifying the effect works, do you feel better, or if it's any different, or if it's wrong?
Once you have done it, don't shirk your responsibility, even if you don't adopt someone else's idea and disaster strikes.
Avoid using "we". If you decline an invitation, say you're tired, whether your companion feels the same way, and try to use the first-person singular as much as possible.
Don't tell others how they feel. "I'm sure you won't like it. "I know it displeases you, so I don't invite him. "Other people's minds change just as often as you do. You can ask him what he thinks, but don't overstep his bounds and tell others that he often tries to ** what others want to hear, which is a typical copy of Mr. Yes. The result will only increase your fear of your mundane self and some angry friends.
Don't let others dictate your thoughts. Remind them to be gentle, that your feelings are instinctual and that it is your right anyway. Never apologize to someone for keeping the peace.
When you talk about yourself to friends or strangers, don't just tell the truth. In these weeks, try to keep the facts as few as possible and give them comments and reflections instead. Don't mention status symbols that may be remembered by strangers. Also avoid mechanical dialogue, as if counting what you did that day from 6 a.m. onwards.
If you already know how a story will be told, don't tell it. Memorizing instructions will increase your fear of saying the wrong thing when you are unprepared.
Follow the above advice, and you will surely find that changing behavior is not very complicated in the first place.
Be assertive.
To perfect your behavior, you must maintain your own opinions while improving some behaviors. It is impossible for a person who does not have an opinion to have a more perfect behavior.
Investor Warren Buffett never fully trusts financial advisors. "Let's say you have $1 million on hand, and if you fully believe the inside information, you will go bankrupt within a year," he said. ”
The story of a father and son carrying a donkey home is worth a look. At first, the father let the younger son ride on the back of a donkey and walk on his own. Soon, I met an old man on the road and said contemptuously: "This family really doesn't know how to be polite, no big or small, and they even let Lao Tzu lead a donkey for their son." As soon as the farmer thought about it, he asked his son to jump off the donkey's back, and the father and son held hands and continued on their way. He had not gone far when he was confronted by a young man, and when he saw that the old man and the young man had a donkey not riding, he said in puzzlement: "What two strange fellows, if there is a donkey that does not ride, it is difficult to walk." When the farmer heard this, he thought it made sense. So he gave the reins to his son and stepped on the donkey's back. But before he had gone far, a woman came up to her and muttered, "Such a big man, but he rides on a donkey by himself, and it is really heartless to let such a small child lead it!."This time, the old farmer had no choice but to drag his son onto the donkey's back. Soon another man came, and he said, "It is not true, the donkey toils for you every day, and you have to ride it, and you can ride it twice." The farmer patted his head and said, "Yes, I am so cruel." "They jumped off the donkey's back again. But I just don't know what to do, it's not right to ride, it's not right not to ride, my son is not right, I'm not right to ride, what should I do?It's better to carry it home, and finally don't treat this donkey who is tired for us. A person does not have the ability to think independently, and it is easy for others to become panicked and lose their opinions as soon as they speak. Therefore, cultivating the ability to think and solve problems independently is an important aspect of maintaining one's personality, and it is also a necessary condition for a person to stand in the world.
Philosophers say that there are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same, and why not man?No two people's attitudes, beliefs, and values are exactly the same as their own potential, so what happens to one of them cannot be assumed to have the same result for the other. It is important to listen to and respect the opinions of others, but at any time do you never follow the crowd, let alone mess around, do not know what to do, and become a puppet of other people's opinions. Otherwise, you will not only be physically and mentally exhausted from swaying from side to side, but you will also lose many opportunities for success, and even lose yourself.
Make yourself positive.
If you want to perfect your behavior and make yourself positive, it is very important to give people a "positive" impression, which can be your magic weapon to win.
How can I make myself active and visible in my work and life?Specifically, the following methods can be used:
Stand up and speak.
Whether you're speaking at a conference or in an office, the best posture is to stand up. Even if you have a prepared chair, don't sit and talk. Because standing up and speaking gives people a stronger and more contagious feeling, and you can also be condescending and grasp the atmosphere of the venue.
Rush to pick up**. If you are slow, you will only give the impression of being passive and not proactive. Therefore, in the office, once the ** bell rings, you should react quickly and grab the microphone.
Morning shifts. Going to work early will give people a positive and hard-working impression. When other colleagues arrive at the office sleepily and start preparing, you are already in the working mood, and your boss will naturally look at you differently.
Walk briskly with your waist straight.
Doing so gives people a sense of vitality and vitality, which is something that cannot be ignored in self-expression. If you are hunched over, slowly soaring, and listless, how will people evaluate you? The answer is self-explanatory.
The handshake is strong. Handshake is the etiquette of communication, and it is also the best way to express yourself. The small act of shaking hands seems to be just a hand-to-hand exchange, but it is actually a heart-to-heart communication. A strong handshake can make the other person feel that you are warm and strong, and can make a deep impression.
Correct sitting posture. When talking to colleagues, it is important to sit in the right posture in a chair or sofa. You can't bury yourself in the couch or appear to be slouched and leaning back in the chair. This can give the impression of not being serious. On the other hand, sitting with a straight posture and leaning your upper body forward naturally will give the impression that you are focused, which in turn will give the impression of being serious and positive.
Take good notes. When others are speaking, be careful to take notes while listening. On the one hand, taking notes can record what is useful to you; On the other hand, it expresses the recognition of the content of the other party's speech, and it is also a kind of respect for the other party.
Write your name in big size.
The name is the code name of each person, and when signing, write as large as possible, because people who write large letters are generally more aggressive.
Sit down next to your boss.
The more confident you are, the more you like to sit with your boss. Therefore, when there is no fixed seat arrangement, you can show your confidence by taking the initiative to sit next to your boss. Just like students who do well in their studies and like to speak in class like to sit closer to their teachers.
Extra work rushed to do.
In addition to doing a good job, we should also be active and willing to do the extra work. On the one hand, show your zeal, and on the other hand, show your ability.
Ask for advice.
If you have something to ask a colleague for, you must not inform him to come to your office, you must go to his office. In this way, you can not only let the other party see your sincerity, but also feel your humble attitude.
Reveal your hopes.
Hopeful people will be attractive. When a person has a big goal, it will give people a positive and aggressive feeling.
Everyone doesn't like, and even hates to be, people who are lazy and inactive. Only by giving people a "positive" impression everywhere can they be praised by their colleagues, and they will be valued by their superiors, which will also be beneficial to their future.
How to develop your potential.
Recognize your potential.
Inside everyone's body, there is a huge power lurking. As long as you can discover and harness this power, you can achieve everything you desire.
If you can open the eyes of your mind and see the infinite "treasure house" within you, you will find that there is infinite wealth around you. There is a gold mine within you from which you can get everything you need to make life happy, enjoyable and abundant.
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