That day, my cousin, whose eyes were red, choked up and asked me, "You say, why is my affection not reciprocated?" "Why does he still not like me when I do so much, and that girl doesn't have to do anything but get his love?" "Isn't it true that everyone will say that it is first come, first come, but I met him before that girl, so why can't I have him?" I hugged my crying cousin and thought of the saying: Some people don't have to do anything, just stand there, and win. In this era of overflowing feelings and fast-food love everywhere, we are so obsessed with liking someone, infatuated and affectionate, but this relationship is not reciprocated. I also experienced this pain of not being able to love when I was eighteen years old. At that time, I also naively thought that if I like someone, as long as I go to that person wholeheartedly and with love, I will reap a beautiful love. However, feelings are different from other things, and hard work does not necessarily pay off.
In my freshman year, I fell in love with one of the seniors in the student council. He was clean-looking, humble and polite, like a refreshing rain on a hot summer day, blowing away the dullness and heat of that summer. And I, who didn't have time to take the umbrella, was so angry that I plunged headlong into the rain without hesitation. Every time I go out for an event, I actively sign up, like a little tail behind him to help him run errands; is also like a docile doll, let him be close and distant. I tried my best to ask someone what type he liked, and when I heard that he liked cute girls, I put away all my edges, tried to wear the pink I always hated, and pretended to be good in front of him. He had a high fever, so I skipped my professional class and ran to the hospital to take care of him. In his basketball game, I arrived an hour early to grab the front row and cheer for him, only to find that my voice was hoarse after the game. I tried my best to make myself like his favorite spicy hot pot, improve my ability to play games, team up with him, and learn to change from a big grinning female man to a bird.
I just chased him like that, trying to be what he liked, completely forgetting what I was for the first time. However, when I thought the time had come to confess to him, I was rejected. He still said in a very gentle tone: "Thank you for liking, it's just that I have someone I like." I stubbornly asked him, "Can't you just give me a chance?" He smiled and shook his head: "I already treat her as my everything, and I can't accept people outside." "Outsiders, I'm just an outsider to him.