The Spring Festival is approaching, have you already planned to go back to your hometown?
Maybe you feel the same way, when relatives are reunited, parents and elders are laughing, while the younger generation seems alienated. Recently, a woman in Zhejiang posted on the Internet, describing the state of her young people during the Chinese New Year, and the scene is thought-provoking.
The woman's husband has three brothers, all of whom have built a three-story house in their hometown and live close to each other, just like neighbors. Usually, everyone works in the field, and they can only get together during the Chinese New Year. However, despite the fact that the cousins rarely had the opportunity to see each other, when they got together, they appeared poor in language, and their communication with each other seemed polite and unfamiliar.
The children have grown up and reached the age of getting married and starting a family, and they have all returned to their hometown during this year's Spring Festival. However, even when meeting cousins, they will still politely say hello, then smile awkwardly and make excuses to go back to their rooms to play on their phones. This situation attracted the attention of the woman.
The woman happened to witness an interesting scene: two cousins standing in the doorway, no more than five meters apart, both looking at the intersection, cars coming and going, as if in a daze. Although they are peers and should have a common topic, they choose to deliberately look away and avoid talking to each other.
The woman called out to the two curiously, asking why they didn't stand together and chat. The two smiled, then looked at each other and made an excuse to enter the house. This made the woman lament that when she was a child, she and her cousins could speak freely even through the wall, but now the children have really changed, and it seems that the family bond has been severed.
This article resonated with many netizens, and they left messages to share their views. Some people mentioned that their children are in a similar situation when they return to their hometowns, almost reluctant to go out, and even when they meet their cousins, they just smile and play with their mobile phones. Unlike before, when they were young, they liked to visit relatives because they could taste food at that time, but now children don't seem to have much material deficiency and are naturally no longer interested in visiting relatives.
Others shared their awkward glances with their cousins on the road, pretending not to see each other and walking over directly. This situation makes people laugh, because although there is no positive communication, there is still a trace of cordiality in the corner of the eye.
Some people also mentioned that the post-90s generation has severed the family bond, and only the post-70s and post-80s generations are still trying to maintain it. Some people even admit that they are reluctant to leave their relatives, because as soon as they sit down, they will be asked about salary, children's grades, etc., and if they are lucky, they will be jealous, and if they are not as good as others, they will be ridiculed. This hypocrisy is tiresome.
Why don't young people like to go to their relatives? In addition to the above-mentioned reasons, too much money is also an important factor. A young man complained on the Internet about his experience of returning to the rental house in a hurry, preparing red envelopes for the children in his hometown, bringing New Year's money to his parents, and spending a month's salary. It is conceivable that after returning home, he will not leave the money for three sentences, talk about marriage for four sentences, and talk about saving for five sentences, which makes him feel pressured. Within a few days, there was an argument with the family and it was decided to pack up and go back to the rental house in the city. Although the environment is deserted, at least it is quiet and not so stressful.
This phenomenon shows that young people do not like to visit relatives not because they are indifferent, but because they are different from traditional beliefs. Young people are more concerned about personal privacy and are reluctant to be asked too many personal questions. The elders seem to be caring, but in fact it brings them a certain amount of pressure.
Young people don't inquire into other people's private affairs when they are faced with things they don't like. As a result, they can only stand silently and watch the elders talk, unable to integrate into the conversation.
Young people may feel close to their cousins, but they don't have a common topic to talk about because they don't have a lot of experience living together. They can't ask about salary and grades when they meet, because they don't want to do to others, so they choose to remain silent, and smiling is a relatively respectful expression.
Parents always expect their children to get along, but we must understand that coercion does not make sense. According to a teacher's analysis, young people don't like to go to relatives, which just shows that they attach more importance to emotions. They don't want to be hypocritical, and they don't like to force others. Instead, they are more inclined to communicate with people they are familiar with. Even though they have nothing to say when they are back home, rest assured, once they get to their classmates or circle of friends, they will have a lot to talk about.
All in all, young people know how to make trade-offs and how to please themselves. This is the embodiment of the progress of the times, and there is no absolute right or wrong. Parents should also accept the reality that reluctantly communicating with strange cousins will only make the situation more awkward. We should give young people more understanding and space to communicate and exchange freely in their own familiar circles.