My dear daughter:
I really want to write "Mommy's baby", but Mom is afraid of being rejected by you.
My child, in my mother's mind, no matter how old you are, is the most precious little person in my mother's life.
On my 30th birthday, the two bars of the pregnancy test accurately announced that God would give me the most important birthday present of my life – that is, you. I told your dad the news as soon as I could. The two of them hugged each other happily, and the feeling was indescribable, and the ecstasy was still seared on my heart.
You were very well-behaved throughout your pregnancy, and I didn't even have much morning sickness. And every night before going to bed, Dad will recite poems to you, and Mom will tell you poems. Maybe you can't hear it, but I think you're silently rejoicing in your mother's womb.
On January 28, 2008, I remember that the Yangcheng Evening News printed that day, "It was the coldest day in Guangdong in 80 years, there was frost everywhere, and the Beijing-Guangzhou Railway and Beijing-Zhuhai Expressway were sealed by ice and snow." It was in the early hours of that extremely cold wee hours that you were born, after hours of non-stop labor pains.
That kind of pain makes people unable to concentrate their willpower at all, but I, who am so afraid of pain, become strong at this time, touch my stomach and whisper to you: This is a battle that the two of us face together, please God give us strength, let me be strong, let me and my obedient obedient win it together! You seem to have heard my call and fought your way to this world.
When the doctor put you on my chest, the feeling of that soft body against me, my mother still remembers it vividly! With thick hair, clear eyebrows, long fingers, and a flushed face, you are the most beautiful female cub in the entire hospital. Dad said, you smile as if the ice has melted all winter.
From that day on, we had a weakness and armor. Like every worldly parent in the world, we are willing to give up everything for you to grow up in peace. You have brought us so many joyful memories.
Do you remember the time when you accompanied your mother to study in the UK? Thank you for enduring the great changes in your environment and growing up from the ground up. You were just over three years old at the time, and your mother left you to go to England alone for personal growth. You can't bear to be your mother, but you can't stop your mother, crying and falling asleep at night, and waking up crying and looking for your mother, because your mother is a snake, you have to hold a foot-long little snake puppet toy to fall asleep
I didn't know this thing until a few years later, and my heart shrank when I heard it. You are the person who loves your mother the most in the world and can't do without your mother the most, no matter how hard and tired you are, your mother should take you with her. It's mom who is selfish, do you blame mom? Can you forgive your mom?
You are extremely intelligent and full of personality, and you have slowly grown into the proud, talented, and angular appearance you are today. Mom and Dad have done a few lifetimes of good deeds and burned a few lifetimes of high incense, how can they let God give you such a baby?
Your puberty seems to be particularly long. Especially in the past few years, you are sometimes depressed, lack self-confidence, and sometimes you are grumpy and resentful......Maybe it's because of the sometimes tense relationships between family members, which can leave you at a loss and annoyed. Mom hopes that it can give you more trust and help you share the pain of adolescence.
But child, your mother empathizes with your suffering, but she can't really share it. Everyone's path must be walked by himself; Every snake's skin has to shed itself. These confusions, incomprehensions, difficulties, and sufferings can only be understood by ourselves when we have truly faced them.
I also had 16 years old. At that time, I was holding a script of a "good girl" in my hand. I don't dare to be as brave as my daughter. But I always believed that "the future is not a dream", and it was this power of "believing" that gave me real good luck later in life. I'd love to pass on the same luck to you.
But you probably don't. Because today, you are obviously holding a script of a "big heroine" in your hand. Your generation believes that "my fate is up to me."
But I still want to say to the sixteen-year-old: even if you don't have "a poetic Qianxun Waterfall", you must have "April Day in the Ancient World" in your heart. You will meet a lot of different people and different things in the future, no matter what, you must believe that your parents will always have unconditional love for you, and you must believe that you will have a bright future. You might as well forge your ability to "whether you like it or not, I just want to like it".
Mom and Dad don't ask you to be heard in this life, but they ask you to live up to this heart. May you have the right to choose, the ability to accept your imperfect self, and even the courage to be hated, not to give in, not to please, not to blindly obey, not to be kitsch, to achieve your true self!
Love your mom very much.
Written before your sixteenth birthday.
Text |Guoguo's mother.