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Parents and children should be a watch and help for family affection;
However, in reality, the relationship between many parents and children has been in a tense and depressing atmosphere for a long time;
Just like two people pulling bands, with a little force on the parents' side, the children will be closer to them;
And when children receive higher education, they suddenly wake up to the fact that they are too close to their parents, which is a kind of restraint and imprisonment for themselves;
They will be eager to keep their distance from their parents and pull the rubber band hard towards them;
At this time, if the parents are still exerting, then the breakdown of the parent-child relationship can be said to be imminent.
In fact, when a child is born, the relationship between parents and children is gradually separated;
In the final analysis, children have felt powerless to cope with the long-term tug-of-war with their parents;
It has also been proven that it is not a good thing for parents to be too close to their children.
When children have a sense of self, the closer they are to their parents, the worse they will be in their lives.
The reasons are nothing more than the following two points.
I read a story on the Internet:
The author has a neighbor who has a good relationship, and the neighbor's family has a girl who has just started elementary school;
The girl is very well-behaved, and after visiting the author's house several times, she often asks something like this:
Auntie, can I play at your house? Can I have some snacks? Can I watch TV for a while?
The author thought it was strange and asked the little girl why, but the little girl reluctantly said that if she didn't listen to her mother, her mother would beat her;
And this author, in the end, also broke up with his neighbors;
The reason is that the neighbor said that as long as his children went to the author's house, they would no longer listen to her.
I believe that many readers can be touched, why do girls like to go to the neighbor's house very much, but they are too lazy to go back to their own home?
The reason is that the parents control her impenetrable, and the little girl has been "lived" by her mother from body to spirit;
Once she has her own needs and goes against the will of her parents, she will be beaten;
This directly leads to the girl's lack of attachment to her family;
Because that is not the place where she really loves her, takes into account her feelings, but is a cage in which she can only do the "fight of the trapped beast";
Even if she is covered with scars, she can only live peacefully by obeying the will of her parents and suppressing her feelings.
And the closer she is to her parents, the easier it is to be "** and restrained."
Children who grow up in this family atmosphere can only be deprived of all enthusiasm and joy by their parents again and again;
Eventually become a person who is either fragile or irritable and miserable;
In the TV series "Unspoken Rules of Divorce", Jiang Xinyao is a person whose parents divorced when he was a child, and his father committed a crime in his early years and went to prison;
In the long and difficult years, the daughter can be said to be all the hope and sustenance of the mother;
She pulled her daughter to grow up alone, and also provided for her to go to college, find a job, get married and start a family;
I thought that a happy life was about to begin;
But I didn't want to, Jiang Xinyao's mother suddenly said that she wanted to live with her daughter and son-in-law;
The sweet and quiet little world of the husband and wife was completely broken;
Jiang Xinyao's mother not only can't help her daughter solve her troubles in life, but will interfere and intervene excessively in her daughter's marriage issue, causing constant conflicts between Xinyao and her husband.
This habit of always wanting to meddle in their children's married life is believed to be shared by many parents in reality;
The original intention of parents is, of course, to hope that their children will live happily;
However, the premise of children's happiness is that parents can respect their children's wishes and let them let go of their own lives;
Instead of treating children as a "giant baby" and a 'vassal' who has never seen the world and cannot be independent;
Perhaps, before the children enter the university and enter the society, parents can provide their children with some valuable lessons and can do some necessary guidance and education for their children;
However, when their children have the ability to be independent and have participated in the construction of society, parents should trust their children;
Because children's insight and understanding of new things may not be inferior to their parents, and they will even surpass their parents.
Therefore, as parents, we should respect our children's feelings and choices, and withdraw from their children's lives with dignity and dignity.
And children should also understand the painstaking efforts of their parents;
Only when both parties can have proportions, boundaries, and love and help without losing their love and help, and make progress together, will the whole family be filled with a warm and happy atmosphere.
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