Zhou Guoping said: "If it is painful, just because you care, the more you care, the more painful it becomes." As long as you don't care, you can't hurt a single hair. ”
Indeed, in the face of slander, harm, and fall into the trap of others, if you care too much, you will fall into the cage of hurting yourself, and you will not be able to extricate yourself.
Only by learning to let go and stepping through the mud can we usher in a better life.
However, how easy is it to let go?
We want to let go, but the truth is that we have tried many times, and we still haven't let go.
The real reason behind this is not that we are not motivated enough, nor that we don't want to get better, but that we don't see the truth behind the matter.
When you see through the truth of the matter and see the result of the matter, your heart will suddenly open up.
In life, we will always meet some "bad people", who are selfish, eager for quick success, and do not hesitate to hurt others for their own interests, and some will even create something out of nothing.
The life logic of "rotten people": first, greed; The second is to take shortcuts.
They want to get more, but they don't want to work hard, so they choose to take shortcuts, not hesitating to break the moral bottom line, and not hesitating to hurt others.
In life, such rotten people are everywhere, who can guarantee that every time they meet a real "good person"?
There is a very famous "snake chasing law" in psychology:
A man walking in the wild was unfortunately bitten by a poisonous snake. At this time, the first thing he did was not to ** the wound to prevent the venom from spreading; Instead, to vent his anger, he chased the snake and wanted to beat the snake to death. As the minutes ticked by, the snake had escaped without a trace, and he had fallen on the side of the road due to a poisonous attack.
The "rotten people" in life are like poisonous snakes, if we blindly deal with them after encountering injuries, and lose the upward motivation and goal, what a waste it will be!
What's even more terrifying is that sometimes, many people will choose to keep chewing on their pain and help others bully us.
The reason why rotten people dare to bully us is that many times it is because the cost of bullying is very small. So how you feel, they won't care.
If we chew on the pain repeatedly, that one injury will become two, three, or even countless times.
There is a very incisive sentence in the book "Mr. *Go to the Psychiatrist": "There is no criticism more intense than self-criticism, and no judge is harsher than ourselves." ”
If you are hurt, you have to hurt yourself repeatedly, this is the greatest cruelty to yourself, and it is also the greatest "help" to rotten people.
Healing oneself, summing up lessons, taking setbacks as a gift, and better motivating oneself to grow is the best "revenge" for rotten people
Therefore, if we want to let go, we must think clearly that after encountering "rotten people", we are going to fall into "internal friction" and help others to bully ourselves; Or do you heal yourself right away, learn your lesson, and appear in front of the "rotten people" with brilliance?
Many people will be immersed in the shadows of the past and cannot extricate themselves.
This is normal, our brain has both the function of memory and the function of idling.
As soon as it is empty, the brain will automatically fall into the crankiness of "binary opposition", especially all kinds of unpleasant experiences in the past.
When I read the phrase "opportunity cost" the other day, I suddenly broke out in a cold sweat.
The so-called "opportunity cost" is that when you do this, you lose the opportunity to do another. For example, when we carry money in our pockets, it seems that there is no loss, but in fact we lose the opportunity to increase our value.
When we are entangled with the past and constantly chewing on our troubles, we may be able to catch up with the happiness of the present and the happiness of the future.
What's even more terrifying is that endlessly entangled with the past may also damage our health, mentality, solidify our thinking, and limit our development. What a price!
How unwise it is to take our happiness and our future for the sake of a "cost" that has been silenced!
Life is unsatisfactory, ten like**.
Whose pot has no ashes at the bottom, whose life is not painful.
The reason why some people still remain calm and calm after encountering pain is because they choose to accept and bear it, and no longer cry out about pain.
Whatever happens, it will be in my favor. "Everything in the world is either obtained or learned.
Don't be discouraged if the business fails, you have at least learned a lesson, and the next time you start is much better than nothing;
The work is tedious, and what you get is the opportunity to exercise your mentality;
Love fails, and you will understand how important a person's worth is ......
Learn to accept, when you know how to accept and learn to change your mind, your obsession will dissipate.
Many times, we can't bear it for a while, because we have taken it too little, and our mentality hasn't been exercised more.
Wang Xiaobo said: "Life is a process of constant beating. ”
In the face of setbacks, instead of blindly complaining and avoiding, it is better to know how to accept, be good at drawing wisdom and strength from difficulties and pain, and let difficulties and setbacks become stepping stones in life.
Many times, a very important reason why we can't let go of it is that ability does not match desire.
Because we can't do it, we are internally frictional, entangled, and anxious.
So why not try to lower your expectations?
If I can't find a good job, then I will start from the work around me, accumulate experience, and improve my ability;
If the child does not excel in learning, then we encourage him to compare himself with himself and make a little progress every day;
If we don't make a lot of money, then we start by making a small amount of money and constantly improve our ability to make money.
Everything has a cumulative process.
When we turn big goals into small goals, and improve our ability to act little by little, from no possibility to a little more possibility, our hearts will be full of confidence and motivation.
Achieving a better self is not an empty word, only by putting it into action little by little, can we see the harvest.
When we see ourselves getting better and better, what can't we let go?
Writer Lori Gottlieb said, "There is a difference between pain and pain, and it is not your choice to feel pain, but it is your choice to continue to suffer." ”
Many people stay in misfortune and do not come out because it is easier to stay in misfortune than it is to change.
The real relief is not to shout empty slogans, but to see through and "bad people care, and bad things entangled" huge cost, learn to accept, bear silently, and concentrate on achieving a better self!
Celebrate the New Year in peace and auspiciousness