Adler's The Educational Psychology of Children is a classic parenting book that has benefited tens of millions of children, parents, and teachers around the world throughout their lives, focusing on the core question of how to help children form a correct and healthy personality. This book easily cracks the code of children's psychological behavior, uncovers the root causes of children's stuttering, lying, fighting, withdrawn, lazy, bedwetting, irritability, etc., teaches parents and teachers efficient and simple parenting skills, and cultivates children's self-confidence, independence, bravery, tenacity, cooperation and other sound personalities. 
Life is a whole, and each individual is viewed from the perspective of development
Each experience of life is not an independent event, they are interrelated in life, any event exists in the context of his whole life, and everything a child does is an expression of his overall experience and overall personality.
For example, a child who has just entered kindergarten shows great discomfort after entering the kindergarten, crying for a long time and refusing to go to school, unable to get along with children.
When a child's personal lifestyle conflicts with the school's required lifestyle, it may be necessary for parents to reflect on the hidden life background behind this behavior.
In the process of family upbringing, there is no preparation for this, the child does not receive too relevant guidance, and the change of the environment of the kindergarten is just to expose the problem of family education as soon as possible.
Therefore, problems do not arise overnight, there is always a process of evolution, and I believe that growth is not a rigid mechanism, but a continuous and continuous development, and education and change are possible.
Inferiority complex and the pursuit of excellence are powerful lethality on both sides"Inferiority complex and transcendence" is synonymous with the mention of Adler, Adler believes that all children have an innate inferiority complex, which stimulates the child's imagination and tries to improve their environment to eliminate the inferiority complex, and the improvement of personal circumstances will weaken the inferiority complex, which is called psychological compensation in psychology.
In our cultural context, low self-esteem often represents negativity, while transcendence symbolizes a good quality.
However, in Adler's view, inferiority is the state of feeling "downstream", transcendence is the desire to break through the status quo, and the two are two fundamentals based on the same fact, and excessive inferiority or excessive pursuit of superiority will cause great harm to the individual.
The harm of excessive low self-esteem is easy to understand, it can undermine self-confidence, weaken people's courage to face difficulties, and even set up self-barriers to block the door to success, falling into a situation of learned helplessness.
But we do have a deep misunderstanding about the pursuit of excellence.
Chinese culture has always encouraged hard work, striving for the top, bravely climbing the peak, encouraging the pursuit of excellence, and moving forward like the brave, but excessive ambition and lofty goals often bring a heavy psychological burden to children.
When children feel that they can't meet their expectations, they will only destroy their self-confidence by blindly competitive, and they dare not challenge the slightest difficulty, and only choose those things that can bring positive results to do, and they are obsessed with scores or evaluations.
Worse still, in order to assert their fragile superiority and self-confidence, these children will be jealous of those who are better than themselves, and will belittle and slander others in order to maintain their own arrogant dreams of excellence.
In adults, we often see such people, such as some "lemon essence" who exalt themselves by belittling others, and seek psychological satisfaction with the pleasure of their tongues.
It cultivates children's social emotions and forms their personal life stylePeople are social animals, and everyone has social-emotional needs.
Darwin observed that animals that were not well defended were always in groups, and that nature did not give them fangs and claws and wings to compensate for it.
Forming groups not only compensates for the lack of abilities of individuals, but also allows them to discover new ways to protect themselves and adapt to survival.
Therefore, in Adler's view, if children lack participation in society, it is not only the relative isolation of the living environment, but also the psychological isolation.
As a parent, one of the most important responsibilities is to extend the child's interest and trust to other people, so that the child has the necessary social adaptability, and everyone should think about the three basic questions of personal and social life:
1. Social relations. That is, interpersonal relationships, including how to get along with others, and the understanding of interpersonal abstract concepts such as friendship, loyalty, trust, and so on.
2. How to spend your life. That is, the relationship between people and the world, including what role they play in the social division of labor, what they want to do, what social role they want to play, and so on.
3. Gender relations. i.e. love and marriage.
The answers to the basic questions represent a person's life goals, determine a person's life style, and are also reflected in the specific actions of the individual.
When a person is in early childhood education, there is no better time to develop social and emotional feelings, and in the process, children will develop their own style of life, which in turn will affect the way they see the world and how they interact with it.
Write at the endIn our generation, the educational concept of parents and teachers is still stuck in the traditional concept of "sticks, scolding, sarcasm and comparison", although the heart of education is good, it has left us irreparable psychological scars, and it takes us a lifetime to lick the wounds and slowly.
Our generation, a new generation of parents and educators, needs to take a step forward and create a bright and warm world for our children.