If the truth on the surface can solve the problem, then there will be no so-called relationship and human sophistication at all. Compared with the "clear rules", it is more practical and effective, so everyone will silently abide by or refer to the implementation, after all, people are still very good at accepting "social education". The following 8 social "unspoken rules", if you can understand and practice, then you will become a transparent and open-minded person sooner or later.
1. No matter who you get along with, don't be "self-cooked", and don't share secrets unreservedly as soon as you come up.
Whether people get along with others and get along happily is something that needs time to be tested, and there is no hurry. Only by passing the constant test from small to large can a close relationship be formed. That is to say, to what extent the relationship is, then it can only share or communicate what level of things, and cannot cross or cross the line.
In fact, the biggest advantage of this is that it can minimize losses when people are unladylike, and prevent the bad situation of "treating others with all their hearts but being calculated". Those who hurt you the most are often the people who are most familiar and know you, not strangers who are unfamiliar.
2. The strangeness of human nature often lies in the unwillingness to accept blind promises and promises, but appropriate and necessary refusals.
If you get along with others, if you agree to any request they make, then you will not be respected by others. Because others already subconsciously think that you will compromise, since you will agree to everything, then why care about your emotions and thoughts.
Human nature is like this, what is easily obtained will not be cherished, but what has gone through a lot of hardships will be cherished. When dealing with others, you can't be too kind-hearted or helpful, even if you are sincere and kind-hearted, you must appropriately retain or pay attention to strategy, and finally achieve the goal of having good intentions, doing good deeds, and winning the respect of others.
3. You must have bottom-line thinking when doing things, that is to say, when you choose a certain kind of words and deeds, you must consider the consequences in advance.
For example, in management, as a leader, you must consider ways and means of criticizing subordinates. Only subordinates who know the bottom line and are very controllable can harshly criticize or criticize, otherwise they should be cautious and prevent their subordinates from acting in extreme confrontation.
To use the popular phrase on the Internet, if you don't have the ability to bear the consequences, then don't indulge your emotions. If you indulge your emotions and can't bear the consequences, then such a person can only make trouble for yourself and is doomed to a miserable life.
4. If you don't agree happily, it is a disguised refusal, and it is not appropriate to continue to ask at this time to prevent falling into an embarrassing situation.
In interpersonal interactions, people choose not to respond to requests for a variety of reasons. For example, if you haven't thought about how to reply, don't reply yet; For example, if you don't want to directly refuse to lose face with others, then simply don't reply.
When asking someone to do something or ask for a task, you should empathize and consider the situation of others in advance, that is, whether it is convenient for others to handle the matter, and whether it is possible for others to see the expected benefits and returns, etc. Even if it doesn't work, it's good to gather and disperse; And the wrong way directly leads to mutual embarrassment.
5. Social interaction is about value and energy, if you have no value, then it is useless to know more cattle people.
People interact with each other, on the surface, it is all feelings, but in fact, it is all about interests, because no one wants to be claimed in a relationship. Any strong relationship must be built on solid interests.
Whether a person can gain the respect of others in society sometimes does not depend on the person's friendly state, but on the strength of the person, that is, whether the person has resources and the ability to create value.
6. Don't say that you are not good, and don't say too well about yourself, but adjust the state of interacting with others according to people's policies.
For example, when interacting with strangers, you can appropriately brag about it, because this can expand the value expectations of others and help promote cooperation; For another example, when you associate with acquaintances, you can cry more and cry poor, so as to prevent human jealousy and conspiracy.
Why should we be low-key in life and work, because high-profile people are easy to suffer from others, and it is interesting to hit the strong; Why can't you tell people that you are "grassroots" or that you are not doing well, because others will look down on you for fear that you will stick to you and cause trouble to others.
7. Never try to change others, either accept the reality of others, or stay away from people you don't like as soon as possible.
There is a good saying that those who change themselves eventually become saints, and those who change others eventually become resentful women. The formation of a person's thinking and cognition is affected by many factors, and it is impossible to change unless it suffers a major change.
Vainly trying to change others is contrary to the objective law of the development and change of things. If you do something that goes against the rules, there is a high probability that you will not succeed. The adult world can only be filtered, not changed.
8. Be cautious of people who have hurt or betrayed you, because some people's temperament is difficult to change.
If you don't have a long memory after suffering a loss, then if you are hurt or betrayed by others again, you can't blame others, but you have to self-examine. Once or twice is someone else's bad, and more than three times is your own problem.
I have been working for many years, and I have suffered a lot of losses on similar issues when I was young, so instead of giving the initiative to others and beating my chest when I meet someone unladylike, it is better to hold the initiative tightly in my own hands and not give others the opportunity to hurt myself.