Did you know that the vast majority of couples in this world can't stand the test of reality? You think that your love is better than the golden sword, and the tacit understanding is seamless, but in fact, you can't even reach the unity of opinion if you want to eat hot pot with mandarin ducks or red soup, not to mention that in front of the big one, you may also stage a bloody plot of "** disaster". In other words, even if you're close, don't rush to cross the line because the cost is more than you can afford. Not to mention that, unless you want a divorce.
There is a line in "The Weakness of Human Nature": "We are not dealing with absolutely rational animals, but with people full of emotional changes, prejudices, conceit, and vanity." "Yes, man is vain, and even marriage does not change the fact that man is vain. Because people's vanity will be compared, although people who are very calm in their hearts will have a little bit more or less, but their vanity has been satisfied, and they know how to be satisfied.
Money is not everything in life, but in life, if there is a lack of money, it is easy to cause family disputes and cannot guarantee the stability of family life. Before marriage, I only saw romance and thought it was the best love, but after marriage, all I saw was fuel, rice, oil and salt. Without a stable economic base, romantic love bursts like a bubble. Sanmao said: "The comedy in the world does not need money to produce, and most of the tragedies in the world are related to money. ”
When a husband and wife are together, if two people can't keep one heart financially, can't make money together, can't plan together how to save money, can't plan together how to spend money, then there will inevitably be conflicts. The more contradictions there are, the more feelings will fall apart.
Emperor Yang of Sui had a beautiful woman by his side, Empress Xiao, who was proficient in medical skills and very talented. In the last years of the Sui Dynasty, the world was in turmoil, and the palace was also in chaos. Emperor Yang of the Sui Dynasty indulged in fornication, overhauled the palace and gardens, and left the palace. Empress Xiao repeatedly persuaded Emperor Yang to take the general trend of the world first, but the effect was very small, which annoyed Emperor Yang. In order to save herself, Empress Xiao turned a blind eye to everything Emperor Yang had done.
One day, the maid told Empress Xiao that her guards were discussing how to rebel. Empress Xiao said with a smile: "The world's major events have come to this point, and the situation is irreversible. Why am I telling you? This will only cause trouble for His Majesty. ”
Sure enough, the Sui Dynasty fell. Empress Xiao was alone with the children. After the establishment of the Tang Dynasty, he was welcomed back to settle in Chang'an. The husband and wife were originally a family, but later, the road came back, the bridge returned to the bridge, and they were destined to become two families.
In the movie "No Questions, No Questions", Liu Shufen and Xu Bochang are childhood sweethearts. Xu Bochang also promised to spend his life with Liu Shufen. But later, Xu Bochang's love for Liu Shufen was no longer and he wanted to break up the marriage, but Liu Shufen resolutely disagreed, and even saved him with death. In this way, the two entered the palace of marriage.
After marriage, Huber often became indifferent to his wife every day, as if it was a silent confrontation and revenge. He never ate at the same table with his wife, did not eat at the same table with his wife, did not eat at the same table with his wife, did not share a bed with his wife, and no matter what his wife said, he remained silent. Xu Bochang's behavior also made Liu Shufen gradually feel cold.
When a person has you in his heart, he will be eager to share everything with you, even if it is just a small thing, he is willing to tell you every detail. When you have him in your heart, he eats, drinks, and sleeps on topics that you care about. When a person's heart has gradually lost you, his desire to share will gradually disappear, and the relative silence represents the disappearance of attraction between husband and wife, and represents the estrangement and estrangement between husband and wife.
The intervention of a third party is often a fatal blow to the catastrophe of the couple's relationship. When there is a rift between husband and wife, and one party finds "warm" sustenance, there will be a marital crisis. The presence of a third party weakens the intimacy and trust between the couple, which not only exacerbates the conflict, but can also lead to emotional conflict and betrayal, which in turn can lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
For some time now, a message from a 9-year-old girl in Chongqing to her mother has been widely discussed. The girl saw her mother being abused by her father, and in order to protect her, she did not hesitate to approach her mother. She said to her mother, "If you are divorced, I will go with you, and if you don't have to worry about your brother, I can also go with my father." "Mom, if you think about it, don't force yourself. ”
The current situation of the family forces the girl to grow up, but the speed of growth is crying. Later, the mother chose to divorce and took the girl away. But looking back, a good family, a father with a son, a mother with a daughter, are all good, but in the end it breaks up the blood relationship and makes the relationship between brother and sister difficult to get along. If a father yells at his son, the result will be terrible.
In addition to physical violence, we also see verbal violence, cold violence, and so on. Husband and wife are together, and they are not afraid to get close, but they are afraid to enter the range of each other's fists. As the saying goes, husband and wife are half-hearted, which means that after the two get married, they should be in the same boat, joys and sorrows, especially between two people who love each other, and they should not be separated for some trivial things, let alone say anything.
You must know that husband and wife can only feel warm when their hearts are together and they live together. But how many couples actually do this? Many lovers become estranged from each other once they get married, and they are always planning how to take advantage of them more, separating your words and deeds from mine, your husband's family, your mother's family, and blaming each other like outsiders. After a long time, the two of them only thought of themselves in their hearts. Those sweet words and vows have long been forgotten.
In "Ode to Joy", Fan Shengmei's mother came to the city from the countryside and was not used to the toilets in the city, and still went to the toilet according to her own habits, which is difficult for everyone to accept, especially living together. Some parents like to interfere in their children's lives, and there is a case where the mother-in-law always holds authority at home and sees that the daughter-in-law does not like to let her son beat her, forcing the daughter-in-law to file for divorce. When parents refuse to let go of their children's lives, couples are not faced with small quarrels in a small family, but with the blame of the whole family, especially women, who may be constantly bullied without a family background by in-laws. Only by staying away from such a family can life not be plunged into darkness.
It is normal for small frictions in marriage to occur, even if there is occasional friction between the husband and wife, it can be easily resolved and pleasant. But it's not wise to rehash old accounts. The quarrel between husband and wife is an adjustment of life, but once the old accounts are turned over, the old wounds will be opened, and these old accounts are turned over like a catalyst, making the quarrels between the two more intense and causing cracks in the relationship between husband and wife. And once a crack is created, it is difficult to repair. Husbands and wives are not enemies, and there is no need to always seize a mistake to attack each other. If couples always cling to old debts, they can only see each other's shortcomings.
Someone once said, "Marriage is like a business partnership between two people." "Unless they work well together, they're all losers. "However, in real life, friction between couples is common. Quarrel, quarrel for a few days, and reconcile. However, there is one thing you should never compromise in order to cater to your husband, and that is your own life plan. Everyone's life should be decided by themselves, not by the wishes of others, especially in terms of careers, relationships. If you are always accommodating to your husband, the end result will only be the loss of yourself, or even the loss of the marriage itself.
When you are submissive to your husband, you unwittingly put him in a "leading" position and lose your own dominance. The first time you complain about life in front of your lover, he will understand you. If you complain again and again in front of your lover, your lover will think that you are too incompetent and will even complain about you and say something tepid.
Many couples have the problem of "not thinking about half a sentence", on the surface it is three views, but in fact, it is "too lazy to communicate". If you talk about many things calmly, the problem will be easily solved, and the knot will be opened. However, it is difficult for couples to be "at ease", everyone wants someone to understand them, but everyone is not willing to take the initiative to understand others. Communication requires the efforts of both parties, not one-sided outpouring and complaining. When you become more and more reluctant to speak, the family becomes quiet.
Calculations between couples can not only destroy trust and intimacy, but also lead to more conflicts and conflicts. What's more, in some extreme cases, one party may even harm the other party for property or other benefits. This happens occasionally in news reports, and it's always alarming. When marriage is reduced to an arena of calculation and selfishness, the basis for maintaining marriage ceases to exist.
In such an environment, continuing the relationship could cause more harm to both parties. Therefore, in the face of a partner who only thinks about his own interests and is accustomed to calculating the other party, leaving in time is not only a protection for himself, but also a respect for a healthy relationship between both parties. In this case, choosing to leave is a brave act of self-redemption.
As the saying goes, "The heart is not enough to swallow the elephant, but there will be support in the end." "In fact, the same is true of marriage. If the husband and wife do not know how to be satisfied, then no matter how good the marriage is, it will only be a tragedy in the end. When expectations are too high, there will be demands, compulsions, and naturally greater disappointment.
Many people may become very angry after getting married, especially after getting along for a period of time, there is no novelty, and it becomes very simple to get angry at this time. You are always used to losing your temper with those closest to you, but polite to strangers. At this time, you should know that you may be hurting someone who cares about you very much.
As the saying goes: "A hundred years in the same boat, a thousand years of sleep." "It's not easy for husband and wife to come together, since there is fate, they should cherish it. Even if there will be bumps in the road, don't give up easily, but face it together and solve it bravely, only in this way will the relationship become stronger and stronger. Problems are never terrible, but they are left unchecked and ignored, which eventually leads to irreversible consequences. The relationship between the two is destined not to go far.