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Some time ago, Fu Seoul shared on Weibo that he wanted to see his mother when he was a childThe experience of drinking dish soap
She said that most of her childhood was spent with cold faces, scorns, and boundless expectations and demands.
I haven't felt the warmth, and I don't know what it's like to be held in my arms and kissed. When she grows up, she has been hurt, and there is always a child who is hurt and crying in her heartI'd rather pretend to be strong than show my vulnerability
Adler, a well-known psychologist, said this:"Happy people use childhood for a lifetime, and unfortunate people spend a lifetime for childhood. ”
It can be seen how important the family of origin is in our growth process.
The roots of the child lie in the parents
Many people's character flaws areOriginated from the family of originThe needs of childhood are never taken seriously, and one of the parents is a strong, self-centered person.
This kind of parents tend to be very controlling, and even if the child has grown up**, they want the child to continue to be obedient.
Under the emotional pressure of parents, children willLoss of self-awareness
The past is powerless
What can I do in the future?
Ms. Mei, who is in her forties, grew up under the beating of her father.
She was not the only one in the family who was beaten, her three sisters and the other two girls were also beaten regularly, and her mother was also beaten.
In the past, she hated her mother's inaction very much, and she was beaten every day.
As she grew up, she chose to run away from her family and was reluctant to get married.
The first condition for falling in love with a boy is not to get married.
Physical injuries cause mental damage
She constantlyLearn the knowledge of psychology and look at the ** of psychology, psychological trauma
She began to become soft, she was afraid to go home, but now she was strong enough to go home to comfort her sister and mother.
There is a term in psychology called"Intimacy disorder".
It means that children do not receive unconditional love from their parents when they are young, and what they get from their parents is verbal violence, cold violence, and physical violence, so they will lose their sense of security.
When they grow up, although they will make friends and fall in love, they always feel that there is a distance when they get along with others, and there is no way to really let go of the mustard and open their hearts and relationships.
Break down communication barriers and find emotional outlets
There are often people who complain about the unsatisfactory family of origin, there is no perfect family of origin, perhaps, we have all been hurt and shed tears in the family of origin.
Teacher Xiaozheng once read such a sentence:"Toxic family relationships are like a chain of rear-end collisions on the highway, and their bad effects are passed down from generation to generation. ”
The purpose of writing this article is to hope that those who have been troubled by their original family, or are new parents, parents who have some parenting experience, or professionals who are interested in psychology, can find helpful information here.
It is sponsored by the Institute of Vocational Education of the Chinese Academy of Management Sciences and undertaken by Zhengjia Education"The 2nd Chinese Family Culture Forum".
We will invite senior doctors of psychology to let you through psychological healingClear your own inner blocks, can better handle their emotions and be the master of their emotions.
In addition, we have prepared a wealth of interactive sessions for you to have the opportunity to communicate face-to-face with PhDs and answer your questions.
At the same time, we encourage everyone to share their ownParenting experience and psychological healingLet's learn and make progress together.