With a baby for four years, I know the anxiety of ordinary stay-at-home mothers.
There is no independent economy**, a narrower and narrower social circle, the evaluation of relatives and friends, and the trivial ...... of life that can never be done
I was also so anxious that I couldn't sleep at night because of the repeated reduction in my bank card balance and the confusion about my career in middle age.
Later, I slowly groped and gradually found a life state that was suitable for me to adjust my anxiety.
I call it the "3+1" model, which is "3 concrete plus 1 space".
In a specific life, when a specific person is a specific person, start with specific and small things
Concrete life
I found that many people's anxiety now actually stems from the provocation of irrelevant information, especially the emotional incitement of online information, and it is easy for people to deliver their emotions and choices to the virtual world, and gradually lose the ability to think deeply.
So, maintaining the face of a "concrete" life is the first step in my rejection of anxiety.
In the past, after the children started school, it was easy for me to fall into boundless self-indulgence when I was alone at home, especially brushing a short day**, and in the end, I only got wasted time and more and more anxious emptiness.
Now the first thing to do after sending the child home is to isolate the mobile phone, so that the concrete and real life can come to life, and no longer let irrelevant information provoke anxiety.
Specific people
After becoming a mother, I used to focus more on my children.
Now I often think of myself as a specific person, paying attention to my appetite, sleep, body, mood swings, crying, laughing, touching, etc.
Get to know yourself and adjust your lifestyle to suit your body and mind.
Go to bed early and wake up early, jog regularly, enjoy code words and reading, spend time with your children, and push off ineffective social ......
Take control of your life and be able to deal with anxiety even when it strikes.
Do something specific and small
Choosing vegetables, walking, drying clothes, picking up courier ......
Starting from specific and small things, you can get specific results, clearly establish small coordinates of life, and have a sense of control over your life, so that people are not easy to be overly anxious.
Have a space to be alone
I tidied up the utility room at home, put a simple desk, moved my computer and books in, and had a space to myself as soon as the door closed.
In this space of less than two meters, I write, read, work to make money, put my emotions in place, learn to be alone, connect with myself, and all the reshaping and growth after becoming a mother are completed in this small space.
Therefore, I also recommend that mothers who are prone to anxiety create a space for themselves to be alone if they can, where you are not any role, just yourself.
Of course, I am still growing up, and I occasionally have moments of anxiety, but I can use "3+1" to basically build a controllable rhythm of life, and even anxiety can be resolved by myself.