Today is the fifth day of the first lunar month, not only during the Spring Festival, but also a good day to welcome the God of Wealth, as well as Valentine's Day!
On this day when the buff is stacked, I wish you all a happy new year, a prosperous year of the dragon, a rolling source of wealth, a daily progress, happiness, and a happy family!
I have been planning for a long time in this article, and in order to pinch today's good day, I did not hesitate to start work in advance hahahaha. I hope it can help you a little bit!
Okay, the blessing is over, let's get down to business.
There are three emotions in life: family, friendship, and love.
The topic of "love" is unavoidable for almost everyone, and as long as you come into contact with people, you will inevitably be emotional.
Most of the emotions in life are born from this, and they can bring happiness as well as pain.
Over the years since I started to contact and study horoscopes and astrology, I have discovered a very interesting phenomenon.
There are many articles about the love of the zodiac signs or ** There are many comments below, as well as emotional bloggers also have a high level of attention.
Many people seem to habitually learn about crush, ambiguous objects, sweethearts, lovers, and partners' personality preferences and psychological dynamics, and hope for horoscopes or "emotional experts" on the Internet.
When you go up, look for proof that the other party loves you from the horoscope and emotional bloggers, and after being injured, you also criticize a certain type of person with the same "attributes" as the other party in the horoscope and emotional bloggers.
However, after being scummed, after the accusation, did you really think clearly about what the fundamental problem was? Do you really have the courage to move into the next relationship? Is it really possible to avoid problems from happening again in the next relationship? Do you really know how to manage a relationship?
Whether these questions have been thought about or not is unknown.
But what is certain is that it is much more useful to understand these questions than to blindly talk about countless relationships.
However, sometimes, choice is more important than effort, and this is true for career development, and even more so for choosing a partner.
A good choice can prevent most of the "bloody" incidents from happening at the root.
You may wonder why the first step is to understand yourself.
In my personal opinion, understanding the self is the "cornerstone" of all the activities of the individual's existence and production.
Maybe you don't agree with this point of view and think I'm "idealistic", but don't underestimate this step.
From birth to earth, this life is a process of knowing oneself, feeling oneself, and perfecting oneself.
You must first figure out your personality, three views, thinking habits, behavior patterns, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, yin and yang, social positioning and other aspects, before you can have the possibility of controlling your life with your own hands.
Otherwise, you will be easily guided, influenced, controlled, and taken advantage of.
Back to the emotional aspect, let's give a few very common examples.
Why do some people get PUA, or are always trapped by love, or even martyred for love?
Why do some people go crazy and get married in a hurry because of the urging of relatives and friends, the convention of the best marriageable age, and the best childbearing age?
Why are some people affected by online speech, and there are situations of resistance to blind dates, rejection of the opposite sex, fear of marriage and pregnancy?
Why has the saying "outside the male lead, female lead inside" been ingrained for so many years, and there is still a tendency to change taste?
Isn't the emergence of these phenomena a manifestation of our consciousness and our behavior being coerced by others and society?
Getting rid of the emotional and emotional "kidnapping" of others and society is only one of the functions of understanding oneself.
Second, the focus should be on the aspect of "personal positioning".
There are only two kinds of long-term attraction between people.
or highly similar, such as similar personalities, ideas, opinions, interests and hobbies, two people get along like looking in a mirror.
Either they complement each other perfectly, for example, the traits that they don't have in themselves, but they appreciate each other, and two people can complement each other's weaknesses when they get along.
Of course, you can have both.
But if you don't even know yourself, how do you know what kind of person is right for you? And how do you let others really understand you?
I quickly fell in love with the heartbeat and excitement brought by the outbreak of "love hormones".
When the novelty fades, various problems that were ignored in the early stage will quickly surface, and the final direction of the relationship can be imagined.
Knowing ourselves as much as possible can help us avoid detours and reduce the cost of trial and error in various relationships.
In addition, "personal positioning" can also be called "self-awareness", and in layman's terms, it is called "self-knowledge".
Many people fall into a misunderstanding in their relationships.
thinks that the other party is "bound" to himself, he should have requirements for the other party, and likes to criticize and judge the other party with various standards from himself or the outside world, but he never reflects on himself.
For example, he has a big belly and is unkempt, but he dislikes his partner for being unkempt and sallow.
For example, he earns 3,000 a month and has zero savings in the "Moonlight Family", but he requires the subject to have a monthly income of more than 10,000 yuan and a car and a house.
From ancient times to the present, there is a saying that "the door is right", the radish should stay in the radish pit, and if you want to go to the ginseng field, you will try to turn yourself into a ginseng.
The words are rough, but the reason is not rough. Be sober and work hard, which is good for physical and mental health.
When you've completed the first step, the second step is easy to say, but it's hard to say.
It's simple, you fully understand your needs, know what kind of partner you want, and follow your ideas to find it.
The hard part is, is there a perfect partner for you? Is it possible to encounter it? Even if you do, are you the perfect partner for the other party?
Who doesn't want to have a good-looking model, a double business, **loyalty, single-mindedness, rich and powerful, tolerant and family-oriented, rich and rich? The question is, does such a person really exist? Even if they exist, why do people take a fancy to you and me?
There are thousands of human characteristics, thousands of faces, hundreds of people, and it is even more difficult to find the perfect partner and soul mate.
We need to find out our most fundamental and core needs, to put it simply, it is to "figure something" in the relationship.
Whether it is the material conditions, economic foundation, emotional value, or ideological resonance, only when one's own fundamental needs are met, can the relationship be maintained for a long time.
Of course, the same is true for the other party.
And the fewer, simpler, and more superficial needs are easier to be satisfied, and the higher the probability of being able to find the object.
If you can't find the right partner, you might as well reflect on whether you have too many needs and too high requirements.
After meeting the core needs, some other "small problems" have to tolerate each other and slowly run in.
In addition, the core needs of people are not static.
When the requirements change, it is up to you to decide whether the relationship can be maintained for a long time, and whether it is still necessary.
Just as important as meeting one's own needs is being clear about one's bottom line in the relationship.
Why are scumbags and scumbags so criticized for their behavior in relationships, but they are still able to thrive in emotional relationships, and are rarely crazy about love and hurt by love?
In fact, the reason is very simple, there is little demand, the bottom line is high, and you only care about your own happiness, regardless of the life or death of others.
What they want is nothing more than money, sex, sex, freshness, excitement, even "stamp collecting", curiosity, and some of the desire to conquer and control each other in the palm of their hands, as well as the pleasure and satisfaction brought by the other party loving them to death.
As long as the points listed above are not satisfied, they will abandon the other person like a piece of, without any nostalgia.
This example is not cited to tell everyone to emulate the behavior of scumbags and scumbags.
Many people are reluctant to let go in a relationship because of sunk costs or obsessions, even if the other party repeatedly "hits mines", and would rather lose their principles than give up.
But blindly tolerating and forbearance will only make you more and more tired, more and more disappointed, more and more painful, and you will lose more and more, and in the end you will be scarred by yourself.
Sometimes, letting go is a relief, so why bother yourself so much?
Setting a bottom line in a relationship is a kind of self-protection and self-responsibility.
I believe that people who have emotional experience are familiar with this step!
We like someone and fall in love with someone because the other person brings us good feelings and positive feelings.
But many people's feelings end without a problem, mostly because the order is reversed and the cart is turned upside down.
A long-term emotional relationship must be based on reality first, and then on emotion.
And that's why I put "feelings" in the third step.
But this step is also indispensable and very important.
If you've followed the first two steps to find a suitable person, don't rush to secure a relationship just yet.
To slow things down, start with friends.
Make friends with your most authentic self, observe their reactions and emotions, and pay attention to how they feel about what they say or do.
If you feel negative emotions in the process of getting along with the other person, or are becoming decadent and degenerate, then please leave as soon as possible.
Toxic" emotional relationship is undoubtedly a pull down and consumption of one's own energy.
On the other hand, a good relationship is relaxed and happy, complementary, mutually accomplished, and progressing together.
And this just proves the importance of the first two steps.
Doing the first two steps well can help you stay awake and get out of the wrong relationship in time, at least not in a prison sentence.
When you knock down this set of "combination punches", you will find that there is another "widow king" in this world.
Hahahahaha
To be precise, you will find that you will be able to screen out a large number of people around you who do not match you, with fewer "rotten peach blossoms", less situations trapped by love, less need and consumption of feelings, and be able to deal with your own emotional problems objectively.
Even, you will find that even without love, you can live a happy and fulfilling life.
In addition, although the content of this article is related to love and mate selection, it is actually all-encompassing, and its prescription is also applicable to other emotional relationships.