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In the general perception, timidity refers to the attitude of fear, nervousness, and even withdrawal when faced with an unfamiliar environment, new things or uncertain things.
This kind of personality is generally considered by parents to be negative and bad. To be honest, He He's mother thought so before.
It wasn't until I saw another way of saying it on the Internet: the most striking characteristic of a smart child is not that they can speak well and react quickly, but that they are "timid"!
When I first saw this point of view, I thought it was a bit nonsense and incredible, but I didn't expect to search for some information on the Internet and read some books, and I found that this point of view is not nonsense, but has a certain scientific truth.
Why?
Because of the timid referred to here,This does not mean a lack of courage or withdrawal, but rather that children are more cautious, attentive and thoughtful when faced with new things, uncertain situations or complex problems.
For example, in the message area below a blogger who also agrees with this point of view, there are many parents who leave messages in favor of this point of view, one of the parents said: His son has never fallen and been injured when he walked when he was a child, he is not fully sure not to move forward, his concentration and memory are very good, and he is in the top ten in the city in the first year of high school.
Under this parent's message, several other parents have also shared the phenomenon that their children are timid, but very smart!
For another example, Xie Er, who has an IQ of 187 in the American drama "Life Big**", was choked on a sausage when he was a child, so he made a decision from the beginning of the beating, that is, every bite of food must be chewed 20 times before swallowing.
Through these examples, we can gain insight into a phenomenon, and that is: thoseChildren who are considered timid from an early age are not really cowering in the face of challenges.
On the contrary, they often do it deep downMore sane and self-protective。The reason why they appear timid is that they are more aware of the consequences of falling and choking, so they know how to weigh the pros and cons and act cautiously to avoid making mistakes by acting blindly.
At the same time, thoseFearless, speak without scruplesChildren are not necessarily really smart or brave, and the reason why they exhibit such behavior may beBecause of a lack of adequate awareness of safety and consequences.
As people often say, "newborn calves are not afraid of tigers", they are not afraid because of ignorance, not intelligence. It can be seen that timid children also have their own unique advantages and positive side!
Of course, not every timid child is smart and cautious, and some children are timid not because they are cautious and smart, but really timid!
So as parents, how can we tell if a child is truly timid or cautious because he is smart?
Through inquiring about information and observation, He He's mother found that through the characteristics of the children in three aspects, she can accurately determine whether they are really timid or cautious due to intelligence.
The attitude towards failure is an important condition that distinguishes a truly timid child from a smart and cautious child.
Really timid children are oftenVery afraid of failure, thinking that failure is a humiliating and terrible thing, and seeing failure as the end. For these children, failure can mean a loss of self-worth, so they would rather not try than face a possible failure.
For example, if a timid child fails to win a drawing competition, he may feel frustrated and disappointed, consider himself a loser, and decide not to participate in similar activities in the future.
On the contrary, smart and cautious childrenThey are more open and positive about failure, and they generally willThink of failure as a process, a process from which you can learn and grow.
They understand that failure is part of growth and that every failure is an opportunity to learn and improve. They learn from their failures, find out what the problem is, and try to do better the next time.
Also in the above example of drawing, a smart and cautious child may also be disappointed by not winning the award, but they will not give up because of it. They may reflect on their work, find out what they can improve, and try again.
Children who are truly timid are more afraid of socializing with strangers, and they may feel that talking to or getting along with strangers is a threat, and this fear may prevent them from taking the initiative to socialize with others, or behave too shyly.
In social situations, these children tend to be nervous, snuggling up to their parents and afraid to participate in group activities or interact with other children.
For example, in a park, a timid child may choose to sit in a corner and watch other children play, rather than actively participating in it. When asked if he wants to join other children in playing, he may shyly shake his head or bow his head.
In contrast, smart and cautious children may keep a certain distance when socializing with others, but they are usually not overly afraid or resistant to interacting with others. They may observe and evaluate the new social environment and make sure they are safe to participate in it. These children are usually able to maintain some confidence and independence in social situations, but at the same time are not overly adventurous or reckless.
In the same park scenario, a smart and cautious child might choose to observe other children's play first to see how they interact. When they are sure they can safely participate, they may join in a game or have a simple conversation with other children.
Children who are really timid, often lack self-confidence and security, and they are worried about their ability and ability to cope with the unknown.
And smart and cautious children, even moreSensible and self-protecting, they are able to recognize the risks that exist in the unknown, and will take appropriate measures to avoid the risks.
So, inWhen faced with new things, really timid children may feel scared or resistant, while smart and cautious children, although they show fear, their curiosity and desire to explore things still exist
For example, when we take our children to play at a newly opened amusement park. A really timid child will be very scared and resistant, worried that the roller coaster will make him dizzy, the slide will fall down if it is too high, and even if he plays hard, he will hold his parents' hands tightly during the whole play, and there is almost no smile.
And SatoshiA cautious child, though a little worried, is more curious, asking his parents how the safety measures at the amusement park are and studying them carefully.
In the process of playing, he will try some gentle items first, and then gradually try exciting ones, and every time he tries a new project, he will observe the reactions and evaluations of others, although he is very cautious throughout the process, but he is full of curiosity and smiles during the play.
Every child is a unique individual, and they all have their own way of growing and their own pace. As a parent,Our responsibility is to guide and accompany them in their growth, not to force them to follow the path we have drawn.
Understand and identify if the child is truly timid, or intelligent and cautious. This helps us to provide more appropriate support and guidance to our children.
For children who are truly timid, we can help them build their self-confidence and courage to face challenges through positive encouragement and step-by-step guidance.
For smart and cautious children, we can develop their critical thinking and problem-solving skills to promote them to cope better with challenges.
The most important thing is that whether our children are really timid or smart and cautious, we want them to feel loved and supported, build a close relationship with them, and listen to their feelings and thoughts.
Through understanding, support, and encouragement, you will be able to help your child overcome difficulties and realize their potential to become confident, courageous, and independent individuals.
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