Li Xinru.
School of Public Administration, South China University of Technology).
1. The daughter who marries out and spills the water.
Coordinates in the southern village of Shanxi Province.
Aunt Zhang is about 53-58 years old and is experiencing a "cave-style marriage", from one family to another, and is gradually labeled as "ominous". Her original husband died of illness, and the two had a daughter, and then she took her daughter to another family, and began to live with Uncle Yu without a marriage certificate. The world is unpredictable, Uncle Yu is sick. It is said that during Uncle Yu's illness, Aunt Zhang did not fulfill her duty of care, but began to contact the next Uncle Xu, and the strategy was to marry the two daughters together, that is, Aunt Zhang's daughter Xu was married to Uncle Xu's son who was of marriageable age, provided that she took her mother to marry, and Aunt Zhang and Uncle Xu were combined. Not long after, Uncle Yu died, the door of the house was locked by Uncle Yu's relatives, and Aunt Zhang's clothes were not brought out, so she was completely driven away and moved into Uncle Xu's house. Uncle Xu divorced his ex-wife because of domestic violence, and he was lazy and temperamental, mainly planting watermelons on contracted land in the village for a living. After Aunt Zhang successfully entered the Xu family with her daughter, she did not marry her daughter to Uncle Xu's son, but chose another family with better economic conditions. As the father-to-be, Uncle Xu was not invited to the wedding, let alone participated in the distribution of bride price, wedding money, banquet gifts, etc., and also paid a large amount of "accompanying gifts". Last year, Uncle Xu and his friends went out on a motorcycle in a car accident, resulting in one death and one injury. Uncle Xu had cracks in his spine, unable to sit and stand for a long time and work, and was entangled in lawsuits, so the watermelon field was taken over by Uncle Xu's son.
Since then, the main faction is the outbreak of family politics between Uncle Xu's mother and Uncle Xu's son and Uncle Xu's son and Uncle Xu and Aunt Zhang, among which Uncle Xu's son is a person with a gentle temperament and insufficient ability, so the storm point of family conflict is mainly concentrated between Uncle Xu's mother and Aunt Zhang. "The little family is angry", "I secretly ate all the pork and pork ribs with my daughter alone", "I didn't buy a single dress for Xiaokang (Uncle Xu's son)", "I stole the money from Xiaokang's watermelon sales by turning over the cabinets", "As soon as I sold watermelons, I came, and there was no one when I worked", "When I had a car accident, if I didn't take care of it, I had to go out to earn money, and I was at home all day before I had a car accident", "I asked for 200 yuan, and the person who made money had to come back to get the money (Uncle Xu's mother said), but (Aunt Zhang) still picked up the 200 yuan that was knocked out and took it away." "Wait.
Looking at Aunt Zhang's experience, it is true that she has ethical and moral problems, and at the same time, it is thought-provoking: why does Aunt Zhang keep marrying? One is the economic dependence of "male dominant, female dominant", which does not have the ability to accumulate material resources of its own, and has long participated in family reproduction with unquantified labor of "housewives". When the initial marriage and family collapsed, coupled with the moral responsibility of nurturing offspring, Aunt Zhang quickly looked for a "pick-up man". In addition, there is a strange phenomenon in the local area that every year on the night of the Chinese New Year's Eve, the hotels in the county are full, and 90% of the living groups are married and divorced. In the local countryside, there is a concept that has arisen since when, that is, married women cannot live in their mother's house on the night of the Chinese New Year's Eve, otherwise it will affect the "luck" of the mother's family, and will be "cold" and "noisy" by brothers and daughters-in-law. For the individual married woman, the maiden family has never avoided the bay, but when the married woman is deeply embedded in the in-law's family, the maiden family is relied on, so "quick marriage" has become the main choice of most divorced women to a certain extent.
2. Under the bride price, the materialized nature of the female individual.
Locally, the current bride price has reached 1880 thousand. Influenced by the demographic structure of more men than women and the social basis of strong intergenerational responsibility of the parents, the bride price is in a state of continuous growth. It is very interesting that there are two main types of questions about the whereabouts of the bride price, one is the advance payment of expenditure accounting. Most mothers will calculate such an account, and the bride price will be 088-10,000 times (when the marriage and marriage man gives the bride price, he cannot be allowed to go home empty-handed), 3-50,000 yuan in marriage cash, 20,000 yuan for marriage and shopping, 30,000 yuan for childbirth, 20,000 yuan for moving to a new house to celebrate, and at least 40,000 yuan after the remaining expenses. These celebratory ceremonies will all be measured in advance, and the parents will reserve the surplus for the performance and competition at key nodes.
The marriage of a daughter, the birth of a newborn, and the relocation of a new house" in the traditional period contains the joy and blessing of "endless life and continuous inheritance", and now it seems to have become the inertia and philosophical standard of life of the fathers under the guidance of economic rationality, and it is to deconstruct all the rules in advance and make the future development of the care that daughters should enjoy in the future. Another trend of "daughter's bride price" is for the development of the mother's family, which tends to increase the brother's ability to negotiate marriage in the form of utensils and money. The increasing ** bride price is actually increasing the upper limit of the income that the parents can obtain after using the right to control and choose, that is, the parents can choose whether to give cash to dowry, the amount of money for each ceremony, etc., so that at least 80,000 will be left. Of course, the more they are left, the more suspicious they are of "selling their daughters", but in general, under the influence of an open society, the village evaluation system presents high standards and weak constraints, but the behaviors that are not used to in the early stage will become the objects of imitation in the future. The "daughter" does not have too much right to participate in the whole process, but is labeled as "the high bride price of women in a certain place" in the national marriage market.
3. Will individualized turbulence improve development capabilities?
During the daily period, the local living habit is that every household will make millet porridge or corn porridge every day in the morning, plus a variety of beans to help swallow steamed buns, but there is a traditional custom that requires that "the first day of the new year can drink porridge", in which the image of "porridge" is that the rice is soaked in water, which means to avoid being washed away by heavy rain when drying wheat in the autumn harvest. The neighbor's aunt said in a casual conversation on the third day of the Lunar New Year, "My family drinks rice porridge on the second day of the new year, because my daughter-in-law wants to drink it", it is understood that this aunt is very "particular" about these traditional customs, but she also has to "break the vows".
Nowadays, the "daughter-in-law" who marries back needs to be offered like the "ancestor", otherwise it will be difficult to marry a wife even if she has money. There is no need to cook, no need to wash dishes, some mothers-in-law will also help make up the bed after waking up early, room hygiene, etc., and will tell the sons, daughters and other "own family" at home to always pay attention to the emotional state of the daughter-in-law, and lead them out to "play" if something is wrong, "spend money" to coax people, "as long as people can stay in our house, it is best to have a child early, so that her (daughter-in-law) pays attention to the child, otherwise my son will always suffer (because I have to endure and coax)". "Getting married" has become a "new fashion" in village society. A marriage in the state of blind date can be completed in about half a year from the two people realize that all the processes of marriage can be completed, although on the surface the father has completed the life task, won the face of the village, and got the family inheritance, but the biggest hidden danger is that the husband and wife have not run in, and they are facing the dilemma of weak emotional foundation and family responsibility.
It seems that female individuals can stir up the storm in their in-laws' family according to their gender advantages and improve their family status, but such a "canary" scene is not a more thorough objectification? Isn't it a complete withdrawal of women's development attributes?