Original article No. 287.
On the highway, cars are stationary. In every car that does not move, there are one or several irritable hearts. Some people have been blocked for three days and three nights.
Although for people who travel far away, they are more or less prepared for traffic jams, but when it comes to traffic jams, imagination and reality are different. For example, you don't know exactly which province you'll be stuck in, or which road you'll be stuck in which city. And what specific things will happen after the blockage.
Some people say that they used a plastic bag to pick up urine for their children, and they planned to pour urine out of the window, but they accidentally spilled the urine and spilled it on the biscuits.....Details like these are probably not so well thought out.
Of course, traffic jams can bring uncomfortable experiences, the road is for movement, the car is for driving, and sitting in the car and standing still on the road, especially on the highway, will aggravate a person's anxiety. However, from another point of view, people who have been stuck in traffic will have a deeper feeling of the New Year's flavor. Just like the more thirsty a person is, the more he can feel the sweetness of the water, and the more hungry he is, the more he will feel the aroma of the food.
Today, a small visitor said that if you don't want to go out, you just want to stay at home, and you feel more comfortable staying at home, as long as you change into your home clothes, you feel uncomfortable. However, after coming back from outside, I felt a little happy again. This is because after tossing and turning, the dose of relief obtained is greater than before the toss.
What is New Year's flavor? It's that these days are very, very different from the usual. If the usual days are on the ground, these days are 28-storey buildings, stark and abrupt.
In the past, the standard of living was not high, and the gap could be clearly distinguished in terms of material, and everyone wore new clothes and new shoes during the New Year. It's difficult now, our baseline is already very high, so it's difficult to make a lot of layers materially, so if you encounter some unsmooth spiritual feelings, it will just add some flavor to the year.
Do the people who used to go home and squeeze the green train still remember it vividly? If you can't buy a ticket, you can ask someone to buy it, and if you carry a large bag or a small bag on your shoulder, are you tired?
Objectively speaking, it is very hard, but there is a heat in the heart, even if this person has no goals in life, as long as he decides to go home, he especially understands the next things to be carried out. At that time, all the people who were going home had a very clear goal orientation, they were all in good spirits, they were all domineering presidents, tired, and they could bear it.
The so-called New Year's flavor is not just a toss. There are people in the distance that you really care about, and you are willing to toss for them from the bottom of your heart. People in their hometowns, because they are worried about people who are away, will make all kinds of preparations for their return, and they will also have to work for many days. Therefore, whether at home or outside, create the atmosphere and feeling of the New Year's Day to the maximum.
The traffic jam is outside, you are anxious, your family is also anxious, and the reunion has added a little uncertainty, so when you return home, your relatives will be closer to each other in the eyes of each other, and the reunion is not easy to come by, and there is a little more gratitude.
The makeup before departure is gone, the hairstyle is messy, the wind is dusty, and the body is embarrassed, this is what it should look like when you go home. The Chinese New Year is to break a balance, which is a great sense of disorder. A great sense of disorder is a great sense of ritual. Therefore, arriving home at the planned speed will weaken the flavor of the year.
The list of high-quality authors also mentioned the Chinese New Year with another visitor today. She is similar to me, she likes order, she doesn't like her sense of balance to be broken, in other words, she doesn't have a strong sense of ritual.
Generally speaking, people who do not have a strong sense of ritual on big festivals are people who have a strong sense of ritual in ordinary life. Just like my remote work, even if it is a voice form of consulting work, as long as it is not at night, as long as it is not a temporary appointment, I will definitely do it in the studio, even if there is only such a remote consultation that day, I will drive an hour to the studio.
It's also a sense of ritual. Therefore, for this kind of people, quietness is the flavor of the year. This kind of person, if it is not a last resort, will not be on the highway at this time.
I wish the people who are rushing back to their hometowns a safe and sound, and I wish the New Year a smooth future!
He Xiangqun, founder of Ningbo Xiangqun Psychology Studio, full-time psychological counselor, and member of the popular science expert database of the Chinese Psychological Society.