On February 11, "Middle-aged women who are married and have children decide not to return to anyone for the New Year" was the fourth hot search. For a while, the topic of "whose house to go to for the New Year" sparked controversy among netizens. Some netizens think that according to the traditional custom, "thirty is at the mother-in-law's house, and the second year of junior high school goes back to the mother's house", and many netizens said that they are not used to being at the mother-in-law's house and want to spend more time with their parents.
Red Star News reporters interviewed and found that young couples in the new era continue to open a new model for the New Year. Some couples persuaded their parents to travel to the settlement place for the Spring Festival, and awarded the "Reunion Contribution Award" to the parents who came from afar, and some took their husbands and children back to their parents' homes for the New Year for seven consecutive years, and the husbands expressed their understanding of his wife's desire to reunite with her family. Many couples choose to "go back to their respective homes", and some choose to "spend the New Year in shifts" in order to balance the time with both parents.
On February 9, passengers caught the Spring Festival train home at Baoding Station for the New Year
Travel across 3,000 kilometers for the New Year.
Ms. Wang from Kunming started planning for the Chinese New Year two months in advance. Ms. Wang's hometown is in Anshan, Liaoning Province, and she is the only child in the family. For Ms. Wang, the only requirement for the New Year is to be with her husband, but Ms. Wang's husband and she can't bear to let their parents spend the New Year alone, "My father-in-law's blood pressure is not very good, and my body may not be able to stand it when I go to Anshan for the winter, so we plan to let my parents travel to Kunming to celebrate the New Year." Ms. Wang's husband planned a six-day tour from the second to the seventh day of the Lunar New Year, but it took them more effort to persuade their parents to cross more than 3,000 kilometers to celebrate the New Year.
On New Year's Day 2024, when Ms. Wang, her husband, parents-in-law and mother-in-law returned to Anshan to meet Ms. Wang's parents, they invited them to Kunming for the Chinese New Year. "My mom said yes, but my dad said no, it's too troublesome, and he's worried that my mom isn't in good health. But my husband and I could sense that my dad was mostly embarrassed and felt bothered. ”
Ms. Wang did not give up, and after returning to Kunming, she and her husband called ** again to invite her father, but he refused again. When the Chinese New Year was approaching, Ms. Wang's husband instructed her father-in-law to invite **, and finally said that her father was moved.
My father-in-law's words were more sincere, saying that he would be very happy when they came, and that my father had refused a step down the stairs a few times before. I later felt that in fact, the main reason was also in my father's eyes, and the second invitation of my parents-in-law could prove that they were not polite, and if they came, it would not cause trouble and disturbance. Ms. Wang said.
Ms. Wang was also worried that there might be a small friction between the parents of the two sides due to the difference in concepts between the north and the south, but after two days, everyone was polite and felt that it was not a problem to get along with each other after the Spring Festival. Ms. Wang said that on Chinese New Year's Eve, she prepared a surprise family award ceremony at home, and awarded him the "Reunion Contribution Award" in recognition of Ms. Wang's father's decision to come to Kunming. The award speech reads: "He (Ms. Wang's father) bravely broke through the comfort zone, did not eat dumplings for the first time on Chinese New Year's Eve, he gave everyone for the small family, his efforts made family reunion possible, and explored the Spring Festival customs in the era of only children." ”
Young couples in the new era have a variety of choices.
Contrary to her daughter-in-law's return to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year, Ms. Zhou, who has been married for 8 years, told the Red Star News reporter that after she and her husband settled in Changsha in 2015, she would take her husband and children back to her mother's house in Li County for the New Year every New Year.
Ms. Zhou is a primary school teacher who has heavy teaching tasks on weekdays, and rarely has the opportunity to return to her parents' home except for holidays. Ms. Zhou said that her husband's parents live in Changsha and usually visit the house when they have time, but her parents are still working, and it is not so convenient to travel back and forth between the two places, so she wants to go home to spend more time with her parents during the New Year's holidays.
Ms. Zhou's husband told the Red Star News reporter that as the older generation of the family passed away one after another, he was more considerate of his wife's desire to reunite with her family. "In addition to the Spring Festival, I will also take the initiative to go back and forth to her house on holidays such as Labor Day and National Day, and every time I go to her house, it is like going back to my own home. ”
Ms. Chen from Shanghai said that in 2022, after she married her husband in Nanjing, she returned to her home for two Spring Festivals. Ms. Chen said that because of the differences in customs and culture brought about by regional differences, she was worried that everyone would not be suitable in each other's homes, and both of them were only children, and they usually did not go home many times, so they wanted to go home to accompany their parents, and the two did not have children at present, so they were more free.
As for how to celebrate the New Year after having children, Ms. Chen expressed concern: "In the future, if you have children, you can only discuss going to the New Year together." ”
In addition, in order to balance the time with both parents, many couples choose the "shift system for the New Year", that is, they go to the man's house for the New Year one year and then the other party in the next year.
Ms. Lan from Chengdu told reporters that more than 10 years ago, she and her husband proposed a "shift system for the New Year" after marriage, and her husband also agreed, and in order to show their sincerity, they went to Ms. Lan's parents' house for the New Year in the first year. Since their hometowns are in Sichuan, not far from each other, after the Chinese New Year, they will go to another house to pay New Year's greetings, and the alternation of each year makes them feel that they have given way and balance the time with their parents.
Red Star News reporter Rodney.
Editor: Liao Qingfeng, Editor-in-charge: Ren Zhijiang.
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