The Chinese New Year is a time to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new. We are all taking stock of the past at this time and looking forward to the coming year.
At this time full of expectations, we should not only say goodbye to the troubles of the past year, but also warmly welcome the arrival of the new year and create more happiness and good luck for ourselves. So,The cleaning before the year is not only a traditional Spring Festival custom, but also a ritual that many people pay special attention toand expect a new beginning with a clean and positive life.
In fact, what needs to be sorted out before the New Year is not only the items, but also the demands and desires of each other. Only by letting go of those things that should not be left behind can life become simple and beautiful.
About how to say goodbye to everything old,The first thing to ask yourself is why there is always chaos in your home
There is a Japanese drama called "My Home Is Empty", and the heroine's home was once disorganized, until one time ** forced them to move out. In the process of sorting out the items, ** found that the original necessities only took up the space of two boxes. In her new spacious home, she began to reflect on her old life: a good life doesn't require having too many things.
Stills from "My Home Is Empty".
After starting to tidy up, ** was deeply infatuated with the feeling of disconnection. In the end, she really discarded all unnecessary belongings, leaving only basic furniture and simple necessities in the home, presenting a model space as if it was uninhabited. **Ushered in a new, simple and beautiful life.
In addition to the group represented by **, there is also a concept involved in psychology, namely "compulsive hoarding disorder", which refers to a tendency to like to hoard things, even if it has affected normal life, but is still unwilling to give up. For these people, it is a more difficult task to get them to abandon those dispensable things in their lives and achieve renunciation.
My business is a long story" stills.
Some psychologists believe that this is related to possessiveness, but others believe that the situation is not simple, especially among people over 40 years old, which may reflect the sense of loss of crisis in middle age - youth, health, dreams, and even relatives and friends around them are being lost, so they want to hold as much as possible what they can control. Hoarding has become a viable way to satisfy a sense of security. So, people who are addicted to hoarding old things may be expressing their desire for security with this crazy behavior.
More often than not, most people don't know how to organize things they can't throw away.
Stills from "The Woman Who Sold the House".
Not long ago, a friend with children called me and asked me to help tidy up his house. He described the piles of children's toys and his wife's clothes, which made him feel like he was running a grocery store every day, but he wanted to live the life of a specialty store owner.
When I stepped through his door, I saw all sorts of miscellaneous items scattered on the sofa, floor, and coffee table in the living room: clothes, cushions, and blankets were piled up on the sofa, toys, stationery, and appliances were scattered on the floor, and open snacks and his wife's bags were messily placed on the coffee table. In the corner, three slippers were dozing lazily, and the cabinet door was open at random, and the contents inside were a mess that seemed to be about to overflow at any moment.
I challenged my hostess, Ke, to "Ke, if you were given a day to discard 50% of your belongings, would you be willing?" She hesitated for two minutes, found three reasons, and finally agreed to tidy up for the day.
Stills from "Carat Lovers".
Where do we start? Ke asked me.
Let's start from within. "The ideal state of life and the environment in which to live is important to everyone. By organizing our thoughts and lifestyles, we can make our minds clearer and more organized.
Ah Ke said worriedly: "I always feel that I will buy more, there will always be a time when it will be useful, or others will buy ...... when they say it is useful."Despite the chaos in her home, her ideal life is a refreshing state where the door is opened and nothing is empty, and the gap between the ideal and the reality is always so far away.
How do you say goodbye to old things? In the past year, two years, or even ten or twenty years, every old thing, old feelings, and old event we have accumulated carries memories and emotions. It is not easy to achieve "renunciation", we need to start from some small details and gradually get rid of the burden of the past.
When we don't return to the place after using the item, sometimes it's not because we have bad habits, but because we don't pay enough attention to the item.
For example, if the items in the living room are very precious, you must place them carefully, because their value is extraordinary. Sometimes it can be due to a lack of a fixed storage location or a time constraint ......Overall, this may be due to the purchase of too many non-essential (or optional) items.
At this point, we can ask ourselves the first question: Why do I always like to shop?
Shopping is enjoyable because you are focused on it, constantly imagining what it would be like to have these items. When shopping, people feel free and relaxed inside, and people are immersed in this pleasure. However, if you imagine yourself as a material purchaser in a unit, you are unlikely to experience this pure relaxation and happiness.
Confessions of a Shopaholic" still.
I told Ake that the main reason for the happiness of shopping is the secretion of dopamine, which represents a positive attitude towards life. However, we need to control our shopping desires and avoid overspending. I also shared a shopping experience: before buying an item, find out its shortcomings, and if there are no more than two, buy it; If there are more than two, give up.
When you can't suppress the urge to shop, ask yourself five more whys.
5 Whys:
Why do I shop so much?
Why do you shop unknowingly?
Why do I think we might use it in the future?
How often will it be used in the future?
Why buy if everything is uncertain?
Stills from "My Home Is Empty".
Next, the second question: Why don't I want to throw it away?
The reluctance to throw away is mainly because we often exaggerate the value of objects in imaginary scenarios. We always think it might be useful, so it's hard to make up our minds to discard it. In order to give up objects, we must refrain from too much imagination, and we can start with the following details.
Step 1: Make a list of your hoarded items in preparation for the cleanup. Many times it's not that we don't have the patience to clean up old things from the past, but we have a headache at the thought of "there's a lot of stuff that needs to be cleaned up", so we don't bother to do it. Make a list of them and address them one by one, and your psychological burden will be lightened.
Step 2: For some items that are hesitant to throw away, use the left and right hand determination method. The left hand means "the psychological feeling of throwing away", and the right hand means "the psychological feeling of leaving", then close your eyes and weigh the weight of the two hands, and follow its decision.
Stills from "My Home Is Empty".
Step 3: Give yourself a solemn sense of ceremony. From a psychological point of view, the sense of ritual is very important, it can help you psychologically cut off the connection with those old things, old feelings, old things. The so-called sense of ritual is some "symbolic" behavior that is not usually done, such as lighting incense at home before cleaning up clutter, or writing an email to an old lover before throwing it away......In short, to mark a new beginning.
Step 4: Clean up slowly and slowly. Don't rush it, take it slowly. If you want to tidy up your old things, you can choose to quietly organize your clothes and toys on a certain day during the Spring Festival holiday; Or if you want to deal with a relationship from years ago, give yourself a week to prepare.
Step 5: Forgive yourself for not being able to clean them up right now. If there are things that are really hard to clean up, then forgive yourself for not being able to do it right now and try to minimize the impact on your current life. Just as "when the water is clear, there are no fish", a room without old things at all lacks warmth, and a relationship without debt at all means the end. So, don't put too much pressure on yourself.
"Giving up" is not just about throwing away things, in fact, it is also a test of your ability to plan and manage your life and choose to give up.
Stills from "My Home Is Empty".
Later, Ake and her husband spent a full 3 days combing and tidying up very effectively at home. They sorted unnecessary items one by one, some gave them to those in need, some donated them to charity, and some old items were carefully selected to find a suitable place to store them.
After finishing up, Ake also sent me a text message with emotion: "Thank you very much for your sincere help, which makes me feel warm and inspired. I've already seen the benefits of having empty space in my home. Thanks again and all the best! ”
The simplification of life is not simply throwing away things, but the pursuit of a focused, free and pure lifestyle by simplifying and reducing the burden of life. This not only improves the quality of life, but also promotes the inner growth of the individual and the improvement of self-awareness.
Blank space is the highest level of storage, whether it is for the heart, the object or the person we love。Ake's blank space is not only the cleanliness of the home environment, but also the refreshment of the soul and feelings, creating a quiet and comfortable living space. This process not only allowed her to simplify her life, but also deepened her emotional connection with her family, herself, and the people she cherished.
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