In the world of love, sometimes we fall into a kind of possessiveness without identity. Even if we are not in a relationship, we will be afraid that the other person will like someone else. This feeling is both painful and helpless. I've been through this kind of emotional torture before, and I still can't let go of it.
He and I met on a university campus and we were classmates. He was a sunny and handsome boy, and I was an ordinary girl. We didn't have much to do with each other, except for the occasional conversation at class activities. However, it was during those brief exchanges that I developed a special feeling for him. I started to follow his every move and looked forward to having more opportunities to interact with him.
Gradually, I found myself liking him more and more. His smile, his voice, everything about him made my heart flutter. However, I knew that we were just ordinary friends, and I didn't have the courage to confess to him, nor did I dare to imagine what would happen between us. So, I chose to like him silently and buried this emotion deep in my heart.
As the days passed, my liking for him did not diminish, but deepened. I started to become sensitive and concerned about his interactions with other girls. Whenever I see him chatting with other girls and smiling, I feel an inexplicable sense of jealousy in my heart. I knew I wasn't qualified to be jealous because we didn't have a definite relationship, but I just couldn't control my emotions.
I often wonder if if I wouldn't have this possessiveness without identity if we were in a relationshipWill I be able to express my emotions openly without fear of rejection?However, the reality is cruel, we are just friends, and I am not qualified to demand his loyalty to me or interfere in his life.
I used to try to let go of my liking for him, but I found myself simply unable to do it. I have 10,000 reasons to see him, but I don't have one identity to see him. Every time I see him, my heart beats faster, I want to be close to him, but I am afraid that he will perceive my heart. This ambivalence made me miserable, and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions.
In the process, I also thought about taking the initiative to confess, but I was afraid of rejection and losing our friendship. I know that if I confess my failure, we may not even be able to be friends. So, I chose to continue to hide my emotions and silently like him.
However, this possessiveness without identity ended up in my misery. I began to doubt my own worth and felt that I was not good enough to be liked by him. I became more and more inferior and sensitive. I know it's not going to do me any good, but I just can't get out of the shackles of this emotion.
Until one day, I happened to hear him talking to a friend. They were talking about a girl who was beautiful, smart, and cute. Hearing this, a strong sense of jealousy suddenly surged in my heart. I realized that my liking for him had gone beyond being a friend, and that this possessiveness without identity only made me more and more miserable. So, I decided to let go of the relationship and find my life again.
I began to take the initiative to distance myself from him and stop paying too much attention to his life. I participated in various activities, made more friends, and tried to become more confident and independent. Although I still think of him sometimes, I am not as miserable as I used to be. I know that I need time to ** my own wounds and find my own happiness.
Now, when I think back to that period of possessiveness without identity, I feel like I was really ridiculous at the time. The vinegar that is not qualified to eat is the most sour, and the possessiveness without identity is the most ridiculous. I used to think that my liking for him was a pure emotion, but now I understand that it was just an unrequited love that didn't lead to results. In the world of love, sometimes we need to face reality and accept the fact that we are not qualified. Only in this way can we better protect ourselves from being hurt more.