If you can't get through your marriage, can you really only get divorced?
Many people are always tasteless in the face of their marriage, and it is a pity to abandon it. You can't get over it, and you can't leave. Obviously I'm not happy, but I can only endure it all the time.
In fact, the vast majority of marriages will face a lot of problems, and everyone is tormented in marriage, and even said that they have been struggling.
Some people say that even the most loving couples have the idea of wanting to divorce 50 times and the idea of strangling each other 200 times. When husband and wife are together, there is nothing that does not quarrel, it is just that some people can communicate well and are good at solving problems, and some people will not solve problems and just like to blindly avoid them.
01 Pace of life and stress
Nowadays, many people are under a lot of pressure to be busy with work, life, family, money, etc. The two are immersed in busy work and heavy family responsibilities. As a result, it is difficult for couples to spare enough time and energy for in-depth communication. Every day when I go home, in addition to lying down and resting, I play with my mobile phone, which should be a moment of emotional communication, but it has become a mechanical message transmission, and no one can really understand the inner needs of the other party.
For example,When the husband does not want to talk due to the pressure of work, and the wife is busy taking care of the family, and both parties are tired, even if there is communication, it may be limited to trivial matters and lack the expression of mutual affection and concern.
Over time, the problems between two people will become more and more serious, there will be no communication of love, and there will be no effective communication.
02 Misalignment of communication
Good communication requires certain skills and methods, but many couples may not know how to communicate. Deficiencies in listening and presentation skills often lead to inaccuracies in the transmission of information and deviations in understanding.
For example, the husband may not be good at expressing his emotions and is more focused on action, while the wife may not know how to listen to and understand the emotions behind her husband's words. This leads to frequent misunderstandings and even conflicts between the two sides when communicating. You feel that the other person doesn't care about you, and the other person feels that you don't understand you at all. The two of them complained to each other, and they both felt very wronged.
01 Communicate openly
When two people encounter problems, they are not blindly arguing and blaming, but are willing to listen to each other's ideas. Focus on what the other person's heart really needs. At the same time, you know how to express your thoughts and feelings, and let the other person know what you really want. Instead of leaving the other party guessing all the time.
Some people tend to avoid problems when they encounter them, thinking that this is to avoid escalating the problem, but this is not the case. Two people can calm down and then solve the problem, but they must not cold war and avoid the problem.
If the problem is not solved, it will never be solved.
02 Create a good communication environment
When two people communicate, don't speak ill of each other, and communicate with each other when emotions are intense for life.
Choosing a tranquil and comfortable environment will help both parties relax and communicate better.
Avoid using accusatory language when communicating and instead focus on the issue itself. Using the expression "I" instead of "you" can reduce the other person's defense.
03 Make an emotional connection
Take the initiative to do something for the other person, so that the other person feels that you are willing to pay for the other person, you want to save the relationship between you, and you are taking the other person's feelings seriously, instead of smashing them all the time.
For example: take the initiative to cook for the other person and make the other person feel that you are very considerate. Through some intimate behaviors, hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc., the emotional bond between couples can be strengthened.
04 Seek professional help
Sometimes, communication problems between couples can be beyond their capabilities. In this case, it is wise to seek professional help.
Marriage counselling: A professional marriage counsellor can provide neutral perspectives and guidance to help couples better understand each other and resolve conflicts.
Psychology**: Professional psychologists can gain an in-depth understanding of the emotional and psychological state of couples, help them unravel emotional entanglements, and re-establish healthy communication methods.
Marriage, like gardening, needs to be nurtured and cared for. "A good marriage must be maintained with wisdom and love. Whatever the road ahead, don't forget that building a happy marriage is a goal that requires both partners to work together.